Second Choice
by Tarlia
Summary: Second Choice is a rather dark piece of fan fiction, where I explore new possibilities. Rinoa tries to deal with her sorceress powers, Quistis tries to find her place, and Squall tries to cope with the greatest loss of his life.
1. Chapters 01 - 03

Second Choice

By Tarlia

All characters from the game Final Fantasy VIII are © Square.This work of fan fiction and all original characters are © the author.Please do not distribute or use without permission.

Chapter I:

Momma had told her it was over now.That everything would be fine, that there would finally be peace.But she could not understand.The word 'peace' held no meaning to the girl.Born into a colonized town, living all of her four years during war and being raised in the streets, she was not able to comprehend the meaning of 'fine', either.Momma had said things would be fine many times, and momma had always lied.

There was a change, though - even her young mind discovered this.No Galbadian soldiers.After the hassle with the former president's visit where he had almost been murdered, the soldiers had been terrorising the citizens more than ever, but at some point they had calmed down, then simply vanished.The child did not know what was going on, but momma had said that was why they were here today.To find out what was going on.Almost the entire town was there, gathered everywhere around the huge outside screen on the wall of the Timber TV Station.They stood there, flocked together like sheep, so tightly there was hardly room to breathe.Through dozens and dozens of pairs of legs, the girl couldn't see anything at all, and blindly relied on her mother to guide her through the mass of people.

Finally, the woman bent down to pick up her daughter, long locks of pale, white hair dangling around her face, matching the girl's own hair.Smiling faintly, the mother then lifted her child into her arms, as high up as she could so both of them could see the screen."Come, Yvivina," she spoke.She sighed as the girl didn't reply.The large, blue eyes that should be filled with innocence were instead dull and plain.

Lal Gar'ena had never wanted her daughter to grow up like this.Nor had she ever wanted to have a child.But the Galbadian soldier had been drunk that night and he had been looking for a quick source of pleasure.Lal had been it.And then it was done, and there was no way the woman who couldn't even pay for a house to live in could ever afford an abortion.So it had been hard, but she had always lived a hard life and was used to it.She felt remorse for inflicting this life upon her daughter – as Lal loved Yvivina, and she could only try to get by the best she could.For her daughter's sake.The other people in the town helped her when they were able to, and especially the woman known as leader of the Forest Foxes – another one of those countless resistance groups – had provided them with shelter and food occasionally.Yet there were simply too many people living in the streets to help, in black allies where the Galbadian soldiers usually couldn't see them.

Now there were no soldiers there anymore, and the death of Vinzer Deling had been announced.Just earlier that day, several important looking cars had come to Timber, driving straight up to the TV Station.There was going to be another announcement, that much was obvious.But what about, Lal could only guess.Freedom for Timber?Another war?A new president?

The screen crackled and fuzzed, and the murmur among the crowd rose momentarily before dying down to nothing.Everyone's attention was fixed on the large outdoor TV as the picture became clear, and Lal watched intently and curiously.

The image of a tall, handsome man appeared.He was dressed in a plain grey suit, a white shirt beneath his jacket, and his short, golden hair was combed back nicely.Lal guessed he was somewhere in his mid-thirties, too young to be a politician in her opinion – not that her opinion had ever mattered.But despite how formal he looked, the top of his shirt was unbuttoned and he wasn't wearing any tie like people of his kind usually did.Several of the TV crew were walking back and forth behind him, but eventually the ruckus came to an end and the man cleared his voice, before speaking.

_"Greetings, citizens of Galbadia,"_ he begun, in the typical, smooth and deep voice of a commander, a sly smirk resting on his lips.Hard, cool green eyes looked into the camera, as if staring directly at everyone who was watching him.Lal immediately developed a dislike for him.

_"I could speak of all the usual trite and formal things, but I suspect none of you want to hear it, so I'll get straight to business.Weeks have went by.Vinzer Deling is dead, sorceress Edea has been defeated, and many areas have been left in shambles by the war.What now, you ask?When will we get a new president?Who will take responsibility for all of this?What happens now?Will things get better?Well, ask no longer, dear citizens.I have the answers to all of your questions."_Running a hand through his hair, he paused for emphasis, then continued.

_"My name is Zolqer Temeka, and I was one of president Deling's most trusted officers.Seeing as nothing seems to be done about Galbadia's current situation, I have decided to take action.Now, I know there are a few of you out there who will be surprised by this.You've heard that Deling's number one general, Philip Caraway, has decided to run for election as the new president.That is correct."_Suddenly, Zolqer's smile faded and his cold gaze turned into a glare, _"But I intend to give Caraway competition.For generations, the Deling family was been running Galbadia through dictatorship, but Vinzer was the last one of his line.I want to give democracy a chance.Votes will go to either me or Caraway, people, it is your decision."_

_ _

_"You all wonder why you should vote for me.See, I know what Caraway's intentions are.He wants to rebuild, settle peace and leave everything at that.Nice change from all the years of war, isn't it?Ah.But who says there will be peace even if we want it to be so?"_

_ _

Another low murmur was heard through the group of viewers.Lal glanced at her daughter – but Yvivina was giving Zolqer Temeka her full attention.No expression on the four year old's face.She was just staring.

_"After 17 years of silence, Esthar has 'reappeared', and it has been discovered that their technology by far surpasses ours.Caraway suggests to just leave them alone and let them go about with their own business.But what if Esthar isn't willing to forgive and forget?What if they attack and we are left unarmed and unprepared?People, we _can not_ let that happen.We all hold the dreams and hopes of Galbadia being the strongest nation of the world.Before Esthar came back into the play, our dream was a reality.Now it is shattered.If I am chosen as president, though, I will make the Galbadian empire rise once again.We will not only rebuild our cities and towns, but also our army.We will reclaim what is rightfully ours.Those of you who still hold onto your dreams, vote for Zolqer Temeka!"_

_ _

Lal shook her head, her eyes going slightly wide with disbelief.This man wanted to start the war all over again?More innocent lives being sacrificed, more horror, pain, uncertainty…No one could possibly want to vote for this guy?But she saw his charisma, his well developed ways of speech.Whether you were the wealthiest of men, or a street girl such as herself, Temeka was a man to be feared.And one who insisted to get his opinions through.

And, as on cue to her trail of thoughts, the blonde man leaned closer to the camera, a grin forming on his face, _"Only I can make our dreams come true.Remember that."_

__

__

__

Chapter II:

Even as the bright sunlight broke through the pale curtains of the room, they remained in bed, simply lying there side by side.Two lovers, boy and girl, man and woman, sorceress and knight.Her arms were carefully folded around his neck, cheek resting on his bare shoulder, while his arms were wrapped around her waist.It seemed like they had been lying that way all night.They probably had.However, while she had been sleeping peacefully in the warmth and comfort of his body close to hers, he had been unable to rest.

The closeness still felt awkward to him.How long had they been together now?A month?It all happened so fast.One day he had been introverted and lonely, and the next she had burst into his life like an unexpected whirlwind.Captured him the moment she gave him that look and pointed up at that shooting star, he realized.It wasn't that he didn't enjoy having her there – Oh, far from it.Rinoa Heartilly had quickly become the thing that mattered the most to the young commander.Once, aboard the Ragnarok, she had told him he had missed out on so much because he had never let anyone get close to him.And he understood now that she was right.

The only problem was, after so many years of being alone,little gestures and touches of love didn't come naturally to Squall Leonhart.More often than not, it seemed a little forced, and he hated that.He knew Rinoa noticed this too, but she had an angel's patience.Everything about her was just too perfect.Her beauty, her warmth, her joyful personality.Well, 'perfect' was a lie.She had her faults like everyone else, some which would really annoy him at times.Her childish stubbornness, the temper, the naiveté…Still, it was all part of what made her Rinoa, and he didn't want to change a thing.

A month it had been, and it had been a good month.Slowly, slowly, bit by bit, she was patching him back together, breaking his shell, teaching him how to live, how to give of himself.How to open up, at least a little, at least for her.Often he felt like he wasn't able to give anything back, that he wasn't good enough for her.

Oh, if only he knew how much he meant to Rinoa.While he had changed from lone wolf to mighty lion, she had changed from spoiled princess to angelic sorceress.Spunky nature had died down somewhat, and the girl had been forced to grow up.Not long ago she had been resistance group leader, fighting for an abused and humiliated town and for her friends there.Now she was here, in Balamb Garden, in the commander's bed - they just lying there holding each other without doing anything else, and he was everything she lived for.Or so it felt.She had abandoned Zone, Watts and the rest of the Timber Owls to stay with Squall.Guilt nagged at the back of her mind, but she didn't dare leave.

Everything was still uncertain.Galbadia was a mess and no one really knew what would happen to Timber next.Esthar was still repairing damages done and chasing out monsters left after the Lunar Cry, and Balamb Garden was helping Trabia Garden with the rebuilding.Galbadia Garden seemed to have disappeared.Her father?She hadn't seen him since the sorceress assassination attempt in Deling City, nor did she feel any particular need to see the man who had been partly responsible for Timber's misfortune in the first place.Not to mention she had no idea how the world would react to her now.She was a sorceress, for goodness sake.Rinoa was a sorceress, and she was only barely beginning to understand her own power.

Here in Garden everyone had accepted her.They knew her as a person, not a threat, and during everyday life no one really commented on who – what she was.Edea, being a former sorceress herself, had helped out the best she could.But still, Rinoa was frightened of herself, frightened of what she might be capable of doing.She had seen Ultimecia's handiwork.Did that mean she would possess those same powers?

The only steady thing she had to hold onto in her life was Squall.And she held onto him hard.Deep down inside, she was becoming just as scared of losing him as he had been – and still was -of losing her.And no one but Rinoa herself knew this.

Both were ripped out of their thoughts as the SeeD begun to stir, his muscles sore from lying in the same position nearly all night without even sleeping.Rinoa pulled away to give him room as he sat up, rubbing his eyes with his hands and yawning.

"What time is it?"

"Seven past eight."Rinoa inched towards him, soft lips pressing against his neck, working their way to his lips.He returned the kiss, closing his eyes and devouring the moment.Not many words were ever spoken between them, especially on his part.They didn't seem necessary.However, Rinoa had been wanting something for a while now, and she intended to show him what it was.She was a woman in love, a woman with needs, and even if she knew he needed time to understand all of this, she couldn't help it right then, but to increase the subtle hints to something… less subtle.

Her kisses became more intense and passionate, and eventually Squall stopped to blink at her, a strange, uncomfortable feeling starting to bother him.He pulled away, just slightly."Rinoa?"

"Mmm?" She snuggled against his chest, smiling up at him sweetly.

"What are you doing?"

A giggle.One of those girlish, childish ones that he found both charming and irritating at the same time.She gently poked his nose with one finger, "I'm seducing you, silly.Come on, we don't have to get up just yet.It's still early."She said it as if it was the most natural thing in the world, before proceeding with the kisses.Squall stared at her for a moment, then wriggled free from her grasp, sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing nothing but his underwear.Sighing, Rinoa realized she had moved too fast.

"Sorry," Squall said, his voice monotone.Old habits don't die easily."I just can't…"

She reached over to gently stroke her fingers through his dark brown locks of hair, "It's okay, it's all right.That was my fault, not yours."

_(Look at you, coward.Are you scared of the woman you love?)_

_ _

_… Shiva, I'm not interested in a conversation with you right now.Go away._

_ _

_(I could go back to sleep, but you're making too much noise.Stop brooding.)_

_ _

_I could have sworn I unjunctioned you last night…_

_ _

_(Love makes you forget things, boy.)_

_ _

Annoyed at the Guardian Force which currently occupied his mind, Squall stood up and walked over to the closet in the corner his dorm room to get dressed.Rinoa just watched him curiously, still wrapped in the bed sheets.

"We're meeting the others for breakfast.Better not be late." He informed her, not even having to look at her to see the question forming on her lips.It was funny – usually she was the one who remembered things like that, and he was the one who forgot.But lately, it seemed to be the other way around.

Rinoa was disappointed, but she noticed that Angelo was awake too and was eagerly scraping at the door with a paw, waiting for someone to take her out on her morning walk.Nodding mutely, the raven haired girl slinked out of bed and made her way to the bathroom.Squall just watched her.

_(Now you wish you had stayed, huh?)_

_ _

_Oh, shut up._

_ _

Shutting his steel blue eyes, Squall concentrated for a second, and then Shiva roamed among the others of her kind, free to do so until being called upon again.

Chapter III:

Quistis Trepe sat in one of the chairs around the cafeteria table, eyeing her companions with a mild, yet cool expression.No one seemed to pay attention to her, though.Irvine was feeding Selphie strawberry yoghurt off a spoon, both of them seeming to be in an extraordinary good mood.She was giggling and he was constantly smiling that boyish smirk of his, charming the poor sunny girl out of her wits, Quistis could imagine.

On the other side of the table, Zell was busy stuffing his face with hotdogs.The former instructor wrinkled her nose in disgust at the spiky haired boy's eating manners, but as usual, she didn't even bother to comment.Not anymore.It wasn't like he would improve any, anyway.At least not for her sake.

She noticed the young SeeD almost choke on his food yet again as a certain someone made her way towards the table.He quickly grabbed a napkin and tried to remove the worst of the mess, straightening himself up and running a hand through his hair briefly.Zell had probably wanted to finish his breakfast before her arrival, but the girl – known mostly as the 'library girl' among the little group of friends – had a habit of always being early.

Ever since the incident a month earlier, the 'Sorceress Team' had been sticking together, and one of their daily rituals was eating breakfast together.They usually consisted of Quistis, Squall, Rinoa, Irvine, Zell and Selphie, but lately Zell's girlfriend (even though he denied the fact she was that) had started to join them, and occasionally Xu, Nida, or even Cid and Edea would eat by the large table in the corner that they considered 'theirs'.

Things really had been quiet since then.Everybody had been busy repairing and reinforcing their homes and cities after the second Sorceress War.Garden had, however, received a nice pay from Esthar in return for their favours, enough to pay for Cid and Edea's new project, fiercely encouraged by Selphie: Rebuilding Trabia Garden.This had left the four SeeDs, one sharpshooter and a sorceress with pretty much nothing to do.Selphie had for the longest time been trying to talk Cid into letting her - and Irvine - go to Trabia and help out.Strangely enough, the headmaster seemed reluctant about it, and Quistis couldn't quite understand why.It wasn't like they were doing anything in Balamb, but the headmaster wouldn't give them any clear answer.

"Hey guys," the 'library girl' greeted as she reached the group of five, offering them all a smile.Her name was actually Jadina Letris, or Jade as Zell liked to call her, and she was a rather pretty, if simple girl, Quistis had to admit.Dressed in her blue SeeD cadet uniform, her mouse brown hair was pulled back in a set of pigtails, matching her equally brown eyes.She pulled out a chair and sat next to Zell, who proceeded to blush furiously at her presence, as always.

"Mornin'," Irvine replied with a grin and a tilt of his hat, followed by 'hellos' of different grades of enthusiasm from Selphie and Quistis.Zell eventually gave a shy, "Hi," while trying to hide the remains of his hotdog breakfast with his napkin.

Jadina leaned her elbows on the table, giggling slightly at Zell's efforts before asking, "So, where's Rinoa and Squall?"

"Late again," Quistis answered icily, "Seems like it gets worse every day."_And I have a faint clue as to why…_

_ _

Irvine's grin grew wider and he reached over to elbow Quistis lightly, "Aw, come on Quisty, can't blame them little lovebirds, can you?" He winked.Selphie shot him a glare and he immediately returned his attention to her.Quistis groaned.

_Trust Irvine to bring up the obvious._

_ _

Zell seemed to turn an even darker shade of red, but he grinned sheepishly.Was it just Quistis' imagination, or was the blonde boy more nervous than usual today?Jadina simply smiled, "Let's order our breakfast then.I'm sure they won't mind."

"Whatever you say, Jade," Zell rubbed the back of his head with one hand, "Um, Jade, listen…"

The Garden intercom suddenly hissed and came to life, and everyone looked up from whatever they were doing to listen.Zell inwardly cursed to himself as he had to put on hold what he was going to say.

_"This is Headmaster Cid.Will Squall, Rinoa and the rest of the Sorceress Team please report to my office?Thank you.Cid out."_

_ _

Quistis frowned and folded her arms, "So we're just 'The rest of the Sorceress Team' now?"

Irvine shrugged, "Hey, relax, Quistis.It's a bit of an effort to list all our names every time, you know?"

Selphie bounded out of her chair, "I wonder what the headmaster wants!Maybe he'll finally let us go to Trabia.You think so, Irvy?"

"Sure, hon," the cowboy said somewhat half-heartedly as he allowed the sunny girl to drag him along, closely followed by Zell and Jadina, the latter only walking with them to the hall to possibly find some of her other friends to eat with.Quistis was, surprisingly, the last one to follow.Something was nagging at the back of her mind.Squall and Rinoa.Their late arrivals in the mornings, their more frequent absence when the group spent time together, just the way they looked at each other…In fact, the couple's relationship even came to the point of irritating her sometimes, and that was one part she couldn't quite – or didn't want to – explain.Because she was glad for their happiness.

Right?

Both of them had changed.But perhaps the change in Rinoa was more apparent than the one in Squall.The boy was more open in general, granted, but he was still the same, taciturn Squall Leonhart the former instructor had always known.Rinoa, however, was a much more recent acquaintance, and Quistis clearly saw how the raven haired sorceress developed from a somewhat childish, overly positive girl to a more quiet woman.And she wasn't sure whether this was because she spent so much time with Squall, or because she had inherited Edea's powers.

This was what bothered Quistis.That was the only reasonable explanation.There couldn't be anything else, couldn't be… those old feelings she had abandoned as those of a big sister.No, she wouldn't allow herself to even think like that.If anything, it was the fact everyone but her seemed to have a relationship, and not just Rinoa and Squall specifically that annoyed her.Trepie groupies aside, there was no man in Quistis' life.

_Stop it, Quistis.You're not alone, you have friends._Who all were younger than her, more in behaviour than age._All except…__No.Stop thinking about it.Stop it!_

_ _

"Quistis?"It was Jadina's voice.The golden haired SeeD blinked her ice blue eyes, just now realizing she had stopped by the cafeteria's entrance.Looking at the expectant and puzzled cadet, Quistis quickly shook her head.

"You coming?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming.I just…" Not able to come up with an excuse, Quistis shook her head again and brushed past Jadina into the hallway, "I'm coming."

Bewildered, Jadina just stared after the departing woman, then shrugged to herself and went to find her friends from the library.Heroes or not, Zell's friends sure were strange sometimes.


	2. Chapters 04 - 06

Chapter IV:

When Quistis and the others arrived in Headmaster Cid's office, Squall and Rinoa were already there.Quistis assumed they had been on their way to the cafeteria when the headmaster made his announcement.The young couple were sitting by each other's side, four empty chairs left next to them.Cid apparently had a lot on his mind.

The headmaster was behind his desk, of course, his wife Edea and Xu standing there as well.After his original office had been mostly ruined when Garden had become mobile, there was little room left, but enough to make it possible to work there at least.Seeing the four entering, Cid gave a nod, "Please, have a seat."

Irvine and Selphie occupied the two middle chairs, the latter promptly grabbing the cowboy's hand.It was obvious she considered him her property now.Zell, as reluctant as he was about sitting still for a longer period of time, took the chair to the far right, leaving Quistis to sit next to Rinoa.The sorceress offered a smile of greeting to the blonde woman, while Squall appeared as cool and quiet as ever.He did, however, nod curtly as Quistis sat down.

"Friends," the headmaster began, standing the moment everyone else had settled down, "As you know, it has been a month since the world was saved from the evil of Sorceress Ultimecia.Everything has been seemingly peaceful for some time now, but now Galbadia is getting back on its feet again, and as I predicted, new men are coming to power."Cid studied the various reactions of the six gathered before him.Some were curious, some were worried.Only Squall held his well practiced mask of indifference.Turning to the young woman by his side, the dark haired, well organized SeeD known as Xu Xasalu, Cid spoke again, "Xu, will you please explain the situation to them?"

She nodded, "As the former president, Vinzer Deling, was murdered during the night of the failed sorceress assassination –" Both Edea and Irvine seemed to feel rather uncomfortable at the mention of it, "Galbadia is in need of a new president.General Philip Caraway seemed like the most logical choice, but now a new man has stepped up…Known as Captain Zolqer Temeka.And believe it or not, the two of them are now running for a presidential election.All adult citizens of Galbadia will have a say in who comes to power next."

Squall lifted an eyebrow.As far as he knew, a fair election had never occurred in Galbadia before.So why the sudden change?Irvine spoke his doubts, "So, like, Caraway and this Temeka guy are going for a normal, peaceful election?I don't buy it.It's Galbadia we're talkin' about, right?"

"What do we know about the Captain?" Quistis inquired.

Xu shook her head, "Not much.He was one of Deling's officers, but the military missions he led never had any significant purposes.It would seem Deling didn't entirely trust him, but that's only speculations.Other than that, we have his name, and we know he's 36 years old.Rather too young to have the experience of a president, I would assume."

Selphie twitched in her chair, "He's the bad guy, then?Are we gonna help Caraway again?"

"Yeah, what do we do?" Zell asked.

"Nothing," Cid replied.The group looked surprised.

"Nothing?" Selphie echoed, perhaps a bit disappointedly.

"Galbadia is none of our business as long as they don't try to get us involved or hire us.Although I'm doubtful of the situation too, we can't do anything but lean back and watch this election."The aging headmaster sighed, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, "However, SeeD has been in a quite vulnerable state itself after everything that has happened.If a threat _should_ arise, we need to be prepared.Trabia Garden is being repaired, and we have been informed that the White SeeDs have travelled there with their ship.They wish to help out with the progress as they don't have to protect Ellone anymore, now when she is safe in Esthar.Several former students of Galbadia Garden have showed up and requested to join Balamb Garden, and we are recruiting new cadets as well.It shouldn't take long before SeeD has returned to its original strong state."

Quistis crossed her arms, "Well, that's a relief."

"Can we go now?" Zell was starting to get bored.Edea tried to hold back a chuckle as Cid gave the spiky haired SeeD a look.

"Actually, there's one more thing…," Edea began, stepping forward, "After the events a month ago, it's been reported that Seifer… and his two friends have been staying in Fisherman's Horizon."The room went noticeably silent at the mention of Seifer Almasy's name.Edea looked at the floor for a moment, then back up at the others.To her, Seifer was still her child, and she often felt guilty about what had happened to him, "Poor boy, there really wasn't anywhere else he could go without being chased out…However, now it appears that he has… disappeared."

Again, the six of them were caught by surprise.Squall glanced at Rinoa.The girl had been quiet the entire time, even when Xu had been speaking about Caraway, though her eyes had turned more dark at the mention of her father.Now, though, there was something else in her expression, some sort of… concern, that Squall wasn't entirely sure if he liked.Straightening in her chair, she turned warm brown eyes to look at the woman whose sorceress powers she had once inherited, "Disappeared?"

Edea shrugged lightly, "At least he isn't in FH anymore, nor are Fujin and Raijin.That's all we know.It's possible he left unnoticed by walking the old railroad tracks, but as far as I know, no one has escorted him out of the town, so there's no way of telling where he is."

"Good riddance," Zell muttered, earning him a nod of agreement from Irvine.

"Well, that is all for now," Cid interrupted before the conversation could change into unpleasant comments about Seifer."We just like to keep you informed, as you can all be considered saviours of the world."He smiled warmly, and Rinoa and Selphie both blushed slightly at the compliments."Oh, and Irvine.The results of your written exam have just been finished.Congratulations as a Rank 22 SeeD."

Before the Garden sharpshooter could react, Selphie threw herself into his arms, "Yay!My Irvy is a SeeD!"Irvine was just grinning widely.The others were all busy congratulating him as they were on their way out of the office, but Squall was held back.

"Squall, wait just a minute," Cid said, "I need to talk with you."

Typical.Cid had a way of always having something extra to tell him, and frankly, Squall was getting tired of it, tired of being excluded as someone special."Yes, headmaster?"

Edea and Xu stood behind, smiling secretively to each other as Cid walked over to the top ranking SeeD."You've already been made commander of Garden, Squall, and I intend to keep you in that position.However, with all these new cadets, and the loss of many lives during the battle with Galbadia Garden, we're short of instructors."

Squall blinked._I don't like where this is going…_

_ _

"Arrangements have already been made for Quistis to get her instructor licence back, and Xu here has offered to take the tests required to become one too.That leaves us with a total number of 19 instructors, but we still need a skilled combat instructor."

"Sir, I-" Squall started to protest, but didn't get the chance to complete the sentence.

"Squall, you've already proven you have excellent leadership skills, you just need to use them more often.Until we need you to lead a battle or mission again, it'd be appreciated if you could help out with some of the new classes."Cid looked expectantly up at him.

_He's not kidding.And even if I refuse, he's going to insist.Why does he keep putting me in these situations?_

_ _

The young commander pressed a hand against his forehead and sighed in defeat, "Whatever."

"Wonderful!"The aging headmaster sounded as if Squall had just replied with a gleeful 'Yes, I'd love to!'.He turned to walk back to his desk, "Don't worry, you'll be spared of dull classrooms.You're in charge of leading the practical classes in the training centre."

After Squall and Xu both had left the room, Edea turned to her husband, "Are you sure it's such a good idea to make Squall an instructor?Leading a small team of six is one thing, leading the entire Garden into battle is another, but do you think he can deal with young cadets?"

Cid just chuckled, "The boy is capable of a lot, dear, more than he has realized himself.But he's not going to learn how to handle different situations unless someone forces him into them.That doesn't mean he'll be happy about it, though."

Edea placed her hands on her hips, watching him for a moment, then turned to gracefully walk out of the office.Even after she had lost her sorceress powers, she still walked like one, seeming to literally float across the floor."Just please remember that he's only 17, dear."

Chapter V:

It was well past midnight, but General Caraway couldn't find it in himself to go to bed.Too much was happening at the moment, things far more important than his sleep and personal welfare.He stood by the largest window in the office of his great mansion, peering out to the dark streets of Deling while absentmindedly sipping his hot coffee.Excepting one or two passing homeless people, there were no one out there at this time.

"Sir?"

Turning around to see who had interrupted his moment of peace, Philip Caraway found his loyal advisor, Adar Nalhan, standing in the door, carrying a bunch of papers under his arm.He was a short, very average man, about forty years of age but already his hair was greying.Stepping inside, he moved to Caraway's desk and put whatever documents he had with him down.

"What is it, Nalhan?" Caraway gave a tired sigh and walked to his chair to sit down, motioning for Adar to take the chair on the other side.But Adar just shook his head, preferring to stand.

"More results from the election.Seems like you've lost quite a few votes, especially in the smaller cities up north.People there are angry, they weren't affected by the war the way Deling City was and they aren't ready for peace.At least not after Temeka got to them,"Adar's expression grew grim, "Zolqer Temeka is a strong politician.He knows how to smooth talk and get crowds to follow him…"

The general frowned, "Beware of stupid people in large groups…Especially if they have a leader."

"But," Adar continued, in a brighter tone, "It turns out you're still on top.Of the votes counted so far, you have well above 67%."

"Well, that's good news," Caraway took another sip of his coffee, which had gone cold by then.Wrinkling his nose at the taste, he put it down, then folded his hands in front of him on the desk.There was an awkward moment of silence as he seemed to consider something, then Caraway looked up at his advisor again, "Any word from Rinoa?"

Adar sighed.He knew the general would ask sooner or later, but he dreaded having to tell him the news from his daughter.Finally, he nodded, "Yes, sir.A letter arrived from Miss Heartilly this morning.She… quite bluntly declined your offer of visiting, I'm afraid.… I'm sorry, sir."

Caraway breathed out slowly, leaning his forehead against one hand and rubbing his temples, "Maybe it's for the best.I don't know how the citizens would react to her.You know, I still can't believe she's a… sorceress."

The slightly younger man nodded again, unsure of what to say.He had to admit he couldn't understand the general – Adar had never had any wife, nor children, thus couldn't place himself in the situation."It must be difficult, sir."

Leaning back in his chair, Caraway chuckled bitterly, "It was easy to forget she was there when she was little.After Julia died, I buried myself in my work.Figured the girl was too young to understand, anyway, that she'd be fine with her nanny.Now Rinoa's blaming me for most everything…Because I was heavily involved in taking over Timber under Vinzer Deling's command.And she blames me for her mother's death, too.Rinoa disowned me a long time ago…" He trailed off for a moment.

"At least-" Adar tried to say something, but the general just continued.

"Now she's running around in Garden with her little friends and her punk of a boyfriend…," Caraway smirked, then narrowed his eyes, "Great Commander Leonhart… Bah.The boy isn't even 18 yet… But I guess it's my own fault, really.It's not like I ever spent much time with her."

"At least you were working for a good cause, sir," Adar said.He hated to listen to people rant about things they regretted and things they should have done differently.Done was done, in his opinion, and he didn't keep this job to listen to his superior talk about his personal affairs.Of course, Adar never voiced these thoughts."Deling is dead and you came to power like you wanted.Because of you, democracy is on its way into Galbadia, to end several lifetimes of dictatorship," he smiled in satisfaction, "I can hardly believe it's happening."

"A fair election is a miracle in itself," Caraway commented, pushing away angry thoughts about his daughter, "I suppose it was the only way Temeka could try to become president without gaining too many enemies."

"But you're winning that election."

Caraway eyed the man before him.Adar had great potential, but he was a tad too naïve sometimes.Which was why he was still just the general's advisor."So it seems.But we don't know how many boss cards Temeka has up his sleeve.And knowing the typical Galbadian politicians, he probably has quite a few."

It was particularly cold that morning, even if it technically was still in the middle of the summer.Late June.That didn't stop the weather gods from letting a gentle, chilly breeze sweep through the town of Timber, though, and make Lal shudder under her thin clothing.She held her daughter close to her as the huddled under the shelter of the small newsstand, trying to keep both of them warm until the sun rose.The dim light of dawn was just beginning to light up the grey, misty sky when the newspaper boy passed by on his bicycle, dropping a bunch on newspapers on the ground, ready for the owner of the newsstand to sell when he came to open the store and chase away Lal and Yvivina.

Brushing white strands of hair from her face, Lal looked after the boy, and after cautiously glancing around for a minute she reached for the newspapers, pulling out one of them to look at the headline.

_'CARAWAY STEALS THE VOTES.TEMEKA LOSING?'_

_ _

There was a large picture of Zolqer Temeka, glaring into the camera.Lal carefully read the small text beneath it._'Temeka says in an interview that 'Failure is not an option.'When asked to elaborate, he did not wish to comment and hurried into his car before driving off.Is it too early to pop the champagne, or is Temeka actually losing?'_

_ _

Smirking to herself, Lal dropped the newspaper onto the ground.So this blonde, tall and handsome one wasn't getting what he wanted.Poor baby.At least Timber was relatively safe while the election was going on.Not that the Timberians had the right to vote, but things had certainly been more peaceful after the Galbadian soldiers had left the town.

It was just then Lal noticed that her daughter was still staring at the picture on the newspaper.That stare she gave when something seemed to intrigue her, but not like a child should stare.It was empty and hollow.Like that day when they had seen Captain Temeka on the large TV screen.

Suddenly it occurred to her.

Lal had seen Zolqer's stone hard, emerald eyes before.Before the election even started.That harsh stare, free of emotion, other than anger.It was something she had tried to forget.No, it couldn't be…

_Pushing her to the ground, his hot breath, smelling of alcohol, so close to her throat –_

_ _

It couldn't be…

_Brutally ripping off her clothes, touching her where she didn't want to be touched –_

_ _

_The Galbadian uniform prevented her from seeing his face, but she could see the eyes – the indifferent, angry glare, the bright green –_

__

No.Lal felt a lump in her throat, and a growing sense of disgust as she watched Yvivina turn to her, bright blue eyes – with her mother's colour, but her father's expression – glaring at her, as demanding as ever, "I'm hungry."

Lal was stuttering, even though she tried her best not to, "Y-you have to wait, dear.I'm sure the Forest Fox Chief-"

"I'm hungry _now_!" Yvivina cried.

"Hush!" Lal quickly scolded, then stood up and grabbed the four year old's arm, "We have to get out of here before the newsstand man arrives.Come now."

As she dragged the unwilling child with her down the streets of Timber, Lal was sweating even though it was still cold.Her dislike for Zolqer Temeka was there for a reason other than what she had assumed in the first place.

And she knew Zolqer always got what he wanted.

Chapter VI:

Squall was sitting by the small table in his dorm room, idly watching the darkening sky outside, while bent over four written tests he was supposed to finish that night.He resisted the urge to knock his head against the wall because of the sheer stupidity of some students.Was it so hard to remember that Demi was _not_ an elemental attack?And Quistis claimed she enjoyed being an instructor.He'd never understand her.Damn Cid and his impulsive ideas.First a commander, then an instructor?Had he forgot Squall himself only graduated little more than two months ago?

The door opened, and in walked Rinoa, Angelo following closely behind her.Lucky Rinoa, she didn't have any responsibilities at all at the time, other than walking her dog now and then.Always cheerful and calm.Perhaps that was why she somehow always managed to make him relax.

She smiled as she saw him, walking over and wrapping her arms around his neck from behind, peering over his shoulder, "What are you doing?"

Glancing up at her, he shrugged, "Instructor stuff."

Angelo just lingered by the door for a moment, then padded over to her usual spot on the carpet by the bed and curled up.Rinoa pulled back a little, canting her head curiously, "I thought you didn't do the written… things.Only the combat training."

"Apparently I'm required to have these tests once in a while to check if they have any idea what they're doing when dealing with magic," he sighed and pressed a hand against his forehead.

The raven haired sorceress smirked, gently starting to massage his shoulders, "Tough day at work, hmm?"

"I don't have the patience to teach these kids anything, Rinoa.I don't know why Cid can't see that.I almost wish those corrupt Garden Faculty were back.They'd take one glance at me and take away my instructor licence immediately," Squall complained.

Rinoa tried not to giggle, and had to put a hand over her mouth to stop herself from doing so, "Oh, don't say that.You have plenty of skill.I'm sure one of those deadly glares of yours will instantly silence any noisy student."

"Whatever," came the monotone reply, which just made Rinoa laugh harder.Squall sighed again._Damn it, Rinoa, I'm not in the mood for this._

_ _

As if reading his thoughts, the girl's giggles faded and she moved around his chair to sit on the table in front of him instead, "So… any other news?"

He was never going to get any work done with Rinoa around, Squall realized that.But as much as a distraction as she was, he didn't have the heart to tell her to leave him alone.After all, they didn't see much of each other during the day.He was busy with classes, and she… well, he didn't really know what she did all the time.

Truth was, Rinoa didn't have much to do.She spent time with the others when they weren't busy themselves, or sometimes she'd take a walk down to Balamb town.Squall didn't like that, though.He said something could attack her on the way, even if she stayed on the road.Overprotective, way too serious Squall, the only real reason why she was staying in Garden and being bored all day anyway.There were times when she missed being back in Timber, missed doing something useful.But that wasn't fair - she knew that making Squall happy was important enough for her.

After a moment of thought, Squall nodded, "Yeah.Ellone and president Loire are coming for a visit in a couple of days.Officially to grant Garden a gift – the Estharians finished the repairs on the Ragnarok and will give it to us as the headmaster asked, since they have no use for it themselves.It's nearly 20 years old, after all.Unofficially they're coming because Ellone just wants to see us all."

It surprised her how little he seemed to care.Ellone was his 'Sis', or so Rinoa had gathered, a big sister who left him behind to fend for himself when he was younger, though not because it was her own choice.Shouldn't he be happy she came to visit?Then again, Squall very rarely showed much emotion, and she didn't know the full story behind Squall's experiences at the orphanage.He had told her very little,mainly just certain feelings he could remember.The Guardian Forces had perhaps erased most of his memories, but the pain was still there.Part of why Squall had turned out to be like he was.And even if Rinoa wasn't aware of all of this, she could guess he was somewhat bitter.

"That's nice," she said eventually, then suddenly took both his hands in hers and attempted to pull him out of the chair, "Come now, let those tests wait until tomorrow.You look tired."

Squall blinked and started to protest, "But-"

Rinoa shook her head, "No.I haven't seen you all day.You may be an instructor and commander and whatever during the day, but during the night, you're mine."

"Rinoa," Squall groaned, but still rather willingly let her drag him over to and down onto the bed.And he actually smiled before giving in to her soft kisses, not minding the distraction anymore.Heck, he was only human, he had come to realize that during his time with Rinoa.And humans weren't just working machines.Humans needed to feel alive once in a while.

His dark haired angel knew what she was doing, but she was so much more careful now.She caressed his face gently, all the time making sure he wouldn't start to feel uncomfortable.Maybe she was just as nervous about it as he was.All Rinoa knew was that she loved this boy, no, man, so much, more than she had loved anyone ever before.And it was enough to let her push aside the fears, and for once be the strong one as they headed into the unknown.

Squall didn't resist this time as she pulled off his jacket, and started to remove his belts.She paused for a minute, resting her head against his chest and toying with the lion-shaped medallion, both of them feeling fine just being close.They had plenty of time, no rush.

"Squall…?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you name it Griever?"

Why did he name it Griever.The silver necklace, and later, ring and engraved picture on his gunblade, held a lot of meaning to Squall.Not only did it represent what he wanted to be, but the name in itself fit his personality.Now… he wasn't that loner anymore, not like he has used to be.Wounds were healing, walls were being forced down, the lion was set free, leaving only that one scar that would never fully disappear.Griever was more a memoir of his past than anything.

Squall smiled again, although faintly, "It doesn't really matter."_Not when I have you…_

_ _

And when he kissed her again, they gave themselves to each other.Neither one wanted to ever let go.


	3. Chapters 07 - 09

Chapter VII:

Giggles.

"Bet you don't dare!"

"I do too!"

More giggles.

"He sure is handsome."

"Yeah, but he's got a girl."

"That's not official.I'll change his mind."

Yet more giggles.

Squall turned to glare at the group of female cadets sitting on the bench next to his.They were all around 14 or 15 years of age, and he recognized several of them from his class.Annoying children, the kind he disliked the most.Childish, giggly, clueless children who thought Garden was some kind of game._If they ever become SeeDs, they'll face the harsh reality…_

_ _

Of course, he didn't realize this was fairly normal behaviour for teenager girls.Deciding to ignore them, he turned back to the card game, blinking as his opponent, after a long pause, finally placed a Malboro card in the lower, left corner, flipping over two of Squall's own cards.Damn.He didn't know Laguna was that good.If he didn't act carefully now, he'd risk losing one of his better cards.Couldn't let that happen.

Laguna and Ellone had arrived early that morning, bringing the Ragnarok with them as promised.They had come by a private plane themselves, while other pilots had followed them with the remotely old spaceship.After a speech of 'friendship between Garden and Esthar' from Cid, the two visitors had soon been escorted to the Quad, and that's where they were now.Quistis, Rinoa, Selphie, Edea and Ellone were all gathered by the stage, chatting, smiling, laughing, sharing memories that hadn't been eaten away by Guardian Forces.Rinoa fit right in with them, even if she hadn't grown up at the orphanage.She and Selphie had bonded pretty tightly lately, and she was getting along with Quistis relatively good too, but the two women were far too different to ever get very close.Or so it seemed, anyway.Squall failed to see any other reason for them to keep distance from each other.He wasn't the most socially observant guy in the world, anyway.

Zell and Jadina were lounging in the shade of one of the Quad's many trees, Jadina talking away while Zell seemed to feel rather uncomfortable.He always got nervous around the girl, who he kept denying was his girlfriend to everyone else if they asked, but who he so clearly was involved with if one sat down to watch them.Today, though, he was squirming more than what was usual for him.

"So I told Anna that we didn't need those books.I mean, no one would read them anyway.They want entertaining books, not…"The spiky haired SeeD just stopped listening at some point, trying to get the girl's attention instead.

"Uh, Jade?"Zell asked softly, straightening.His hand slid down to his pocket in search of something, "… Jadina, there's something I'd like to… uh…"

"Oh, look at them.Talking like they've known each other forever," Jadina nodded towards the five females by the stage; one Matron, three children and a sorceress, "Why aren't you spending some time with this Ellone, too?You grew up with them all too, right?"

Zell sighed, seeing he lost his chance this time too.Why couldn't he find the right moment?"Well…," was all he said, trailing off.He had never been as close to 'Sis' as the others, Squall in particular, had been.Besides, listening to Jadina's voice was much better than being lost in a conversation where the male sex would be totally outnumbered.

Turning back to Laguna, who was giving him a self-confident smirk, Squall concentrated on the Triple Triad game again.After they had gathered in the Quad, Squall hadn't been all that eager to converse with Ellone, even if the five years older woman had clearly wanted to speak with him.He just wasn't ready for that, as she would have, without a doubt, started saying how sorry she was for what happened, that she wished she could have stayed with him, and so on.It just didn't matter.It was all in the past.So when the goofy president of Esthar had challenged him to a game of cards, Squall had gladly accepted, as an excuse to avoid Ellone.

_(Come on, you know you want to talk with her…Don't you love her?)_

_ _

Shiva.Squall hated it when the troublesome Ice Elemental Guardian Force intruded into his thoughts and started preaching about what he should and shouldn't do.Couldn't she just be nice and quiet like GFs were supposed to be?

_I care about her.But she left twelve years ago; whatever bond we had back then isn't the same anymore._

_ _

_(Fair enough.)_

_ _

What?Wasn't she going to bother him any further?That was a first, ever since the final fight with Ultimecia.After things had calmed down, Shiva must have been bored, for she had suddenly started talking to him all the time.He hadn't even known GFs liked to say much more than confirming the summon when in battle.He kept being irritated over Shiva's constant interference, yet for some reason, it was her he kept junctioning… 

Finally, Squall decided to wipe off Laguna's smug smile.Slapping down one of his most rare cards in the right, lower corner, he flipped two of Laguna's cards and was leading by one again.Unless Laguna had an extremely good card to finish the game with, he was going to lose that Malboro card of his.Squall had three of those already, but whatever.

Laguna's smile dropped, and he stared at the cards laid down.After a moment of thought, he finally put down his last card with a sigh.A Geezard card.Squall almost laughed inwardly.

"You win," the ex-journalist turned president ran a hand through his dark bangs of hair, "Pick your card."

As Squall moved his hand to pick up his cards, including the new Malboro one, he stopped to eye the rare card he had used to win the game.It was a card of none other than himself, one he had won from Laguna in the first place during the whole sorceress deal.And for the first time, he took the time to wonder about that.Laguna had that card when they first arrived in Esthar, which meant he had it even before he should have known Squall existed.He couldn't have had the time to register the card with the Card Queen that quickly - she wasn't even in Esthar at that time.Maybe the Estharians knew more of the outside world than Squall assumed in the beginning, but still…

_Where the hell did he get that card from?_

_ _

_(Don't ask me.Cards is Quezacotl's thing, not mine.)_

_ _

_I wasn't asking you._

_ _

He could almost hear her grin._(My mistake.)_

_ _

_Do all GFs talk as much as you, Shiva?_

_ _

_(Do all humans brood as much as you, Squall?)_

_ _

_……_

_ _

_(There's the answer to your own question.)_

_ _

Squall frowned even though he wasn't aware of it himself, glancing up at the older man, "Laguna, where did you get this… Squall card from?"

Suddenly seeming to turn a shade paler, Laguna was visibly thrown off guard by the question, and Squall didn't know why, "Well… um… I-it's a long story…"

"There he is!"one of the four girls on the bench next to them cried through a choked whisper, motioning towards the stairs that led down from the upper areas of the Quad.Laguna deliberately left the question unanswered and turned to discreetly look at them.

"Don't point!"One of the other girls slapped away the first one's hand.

"Nikki, are you gonna go for it?" a third one asked.

Squall followed the girls' gazes towards the stairs, to his surprise seeing Irvine walk down in his usual, calm manner.He was in no hurry, took his time to greet every female he passed by.The fourth girl, Nikki, stood up, brushing off her cadet uniform and picking up her books.She was a rather tall fifteen year old, with short, blonde hair and rusty brown eyes.One of those very straight forward and over confident girls in his class that he really didn't like.Whatever she was planning to do, Squall had a feeling he should warn Irvine about it, but decided to lean back and watch the show instead.As cruel as that was, maybe it would prove to be amusing.

"Watch the master at work," Nikki winked, then walked towards the cowboy quickly, apparently pretending to be in a hurry judging by her speed.

And she bumped right into Irvine, also on purpose, dropping all her books with a fake yelp of surprise.

Irvine, the charming man he was, immediately turned to the girl and gently took a hold of her shoulder to help her regain her balance (which she never really had lost in the first place), "Whoa, little lady.You okay?"

Nikki blinked innocently and nodded, "Yeah, yeah, I am.I'm sorry…"

Just smiling, the cowboy bent down to help her pick up her books, "It's not your fault.I should watch my step a little better.Here, let me help you.What's your name?"

Squall rolled his eyes.Ladies' man at work.

The girl giggled with mock shyness as she picked up one of the books herself, staring at Irvine with hungry eyes."Nikki."

"My name is…"

"Irvine!I know," Nikki giggled again, "I've… umm… I've always wanted to talk with you."They both stood up again, Irvine handing the cadet the rest of her books, and she inched a little closer to him.The cowboy was starting to look just a little uncertain.

"Hey… maybe you'd like to go out with me sometime?" Nikki chirped.

"I dunno…," Irvine swallowed, "I'm kind of… involved with someone."

Hey, Irvine admitted it.That was something new.This day was full of surprises.

"Oh, come on!"Nikki placed her hands on her hips, "Please?You owe me for knocking into me," she winked.Irvine kept refusing, though.Looking back at her friends, Nikki knew they were expecting something more from her.This wasn't going the way she had wanted.They had dared her and she had to give them something.

Whirling back to Irvine, Nikki grinned, "I'll give you an offer you can't refuse."And she suddenly leaned up and kissed him, right on the lips.Irvine's eyes widened.So did Squall's, in fact.

"_Irvine Kinneas!!!_" cried an angry voice from the stage.Selphie had been watching for a while and was now running towards the gunman and the rude girl, eyes flaring with rage.Irvine backed away at the mere sight of her – he had never seen her look that angry before.

Nikki giggled, "Bye, Irvine!Remember our date!" And she and her friends made a quick escape from the scene.

"How _could_ you, Irvine?!"Selphie screeched, looking almost comical as she stood before the cowboy, so much more shorter than him yet she looked ten times more deadly.

"But, I didn't-"

"I thought I could _trust_ you!I thought you said there was only me!"The sunflower girl looked at him with a hurt expression, then fled from the Quad.Irvine stood perplexed for a second, then ran after her.

"Selphie!Please wait!I can explain!"

Everyone else was left staring after them.Eventually, after a long pause, Laguna cleared his voice and looked back to Squall, "You were saying?"

Squall noticed Rinoa and Quistis exchange glances, while Edea quietly departed from the group with a slightly concerned look on her face.Earlier question forgotten, Squall shrugged, "Let's play again."

Chapter VIII:

Locks of black hair highlighted with brown rippled down his bare chest in gentle waves as she laid sleeping against him once again, eyes with long, dark lashes closed and a faint smile on her rosy lips.She looked every bit like the angel she was.It was nice to be with her like this, he figured, it wasn't anything to be scared of.He could not remember being this happy before, or even being happy before at all, and Rinoa was the sole reason of his bliss.For opening him up and showing him how to live, how to love, and for just being who she was.

And as he couldn't sleep right at once, his mind started to wander.That was hardly ever a good thing.His thoughts went back to that day when Cid had informed them Seifer had disappeared.Secretly, Squall had been wondering just where his life long rival could possibly have went off to.There shouldn't be anywhere for him to go, not after what he had done.Then again, there could be some minor towns that hadn't heard his reputation.Squall told himself that he didn't care.

Seifer.He had been with Rinoa once, only to betray her and throw her into the arms of Sorceress Adel one year later.Had Seifer ever been with Rinoa… like this?Squall had never asked.Never wanted to ask.Hopefully there was never anything serious between them.Couldn't be, Seifer wouldn't have done what he did to her then, and Rinoa wouldn't have forgot him so quickly. None of them ever spoke about him.

And if it was up to Squall, none of them ever would.

With those final thoughts, he closed his eyes and quickly drifted off to sleep, waiting for another day to come…

Rinoa woke with a start, sitting straight up in bed within the flash of a second.She was wide eyed, gasping rapidly for her breath and looking around the room wildly.A nightmare.A terrible nightmare, yet she couldn't remember what had horrified her so.She gave a quick glance to Squall – he was still asleep.Luckily.Those students must have worn him out.

Wide awake now, Rinoa found it pointless to try to go back to sleep, even though it was the middle of the night.There was a gnawing, aching feeling inside of her that she couldn't quite explain, nor comprehend.Stepping out of the bed in only her thin night dress, she stumbled into the bathroom and turned on the light.After splashing some cold water in her face, she looked up into the mirror-

The sound of Angelo barking fiercely at the door was what pulled Squall out of his sleep, and as he blinked his eyes open and glanced around in disorientation, he noticed Rinoa was gone.Suddenly alarmed, he got out of the bed, realizing she wasn't in the dorm room at all.The bathroom was lit, Rinoa's clothes were lying on the chair next to the bed and her weapon was still standing there in the corner, her dog was pacing back and forth nervously.But Rinoa was not there.And he hadn't heard her leave.Pulling on his t-shirt, black leather pants and boots, Squall didn't even bother with the belts or jacket.He got his Lionheart gunblade out of its case and left the room, having no time for junctioning Shiva or any other GF.What time of the night it was, he had no idea, but it was still dark outside.__

Squall ran through the silent halls of Garden, the thumping of his feet hitting the floor being the only sound heard.It was obviously way, way after curfew, and still too early for anyone to get up.He resisted the urge to shout her name, not wanting to wake up everybody.Where in the world was she?Why had she run off like that?

Since every other area of the Garden was closed off at this hour, Squall headed to the most likely place first: The Training Centre.Lush jungle area met him as he entered the wide doors, the chirping of bats and rustling of plants as animals moved among them interrupting the former silence.And now he dared shout, even if it would attract the monsters' attention.

"Rinoa!"

No response.His heart was beating faster now.Fear, that dreadful fear of losing her.On instinct, his hand found its way to the handle of his gunblade.

But he didn't have to search for much longer.As he rounded another tree, he stopped dead in his tracks at the scene before him.

_Good Lord…_

_ _

A huge T-rexaur male, or so he assumed it was from the size, was lying on the ground, its body completely mangled and destroyed, skin burnt and flesh exposed.Its dark eyes were staring emptily out into nothingness, its head being the only recognizable thing.Whatever had done this, no one here at Garden should be able to do it; not even any normal magic he knew of should cause this much damage.Kill it, yes, but not turn its whole form inside-out.Just gaping at the sight for a moment, Squall then quickly turned away before it could make him lose his last meal.

That was when he saw her.

Rinoa was huddled up in a corner against some huge boulder, her almost bare body, only covered by a silky night dress, shaking violently as she hugged her legs against her.Squall didn't hesitate.He let go of his weapon's handle and ran over to the girl he adored, crouching in front of her.She stared at him for a brief second, then threw herself into his arms and immediately started sobbing.Still slightly stunned, Squall gently stroked a hand over her head in a comforting gesture.

"Rinoa…Rinoa, what's wrong?What happened?"

"I… I don't know!"she choked out, "… Nightmare… I woke up, and… m-my eyes…Just couldn't stay in there… Then the t-rexaur attacked, and – and –"Unable to continue, she buried her face against his shoulder and continued to cry.

Confused, Squall tried to pull her slightly away from himself so he could look at her face, but she kept her head lowered, staring at the ground, "Your eyes?What's with your eyes?"

Then she looked up.And the previously coffee brown eyes were a startling shade of golden yellow.Squall had to bite his lip to not gasp.Tears kept rolling down the Rinoa's cheeks and she hugged him again, trying hard to hold back her sobs, "S-Squall… What's happening to me?"

_Sorceress… She's a sorceress.Edea's eyes used to be like that.Ultimecia's eyes were like that._He tilted his head slightly to be able to be able to look back at the dead t-rexaur._And only a sorceress would be able to do that…Her powers are developing._

_ _

"Shhh, Rinoa…," his voice was amazingly gentle as he removed a few strands of dark hair from her face, wiping away her tears with his fingers.For some reason, that familiar fear was strong again, even though he was there with her now, "It doesn't matter.Whatever happens, whatever powers you have…I'll be there for you.Always."

She looked up at him another time, some sort of desperation visible in her whole expression, "Squall, promise me you'll never leave me.Promise me we'll never be like Irvine and Selphie, that we'll never argue, that we'll never separate.Promise me.Promise me you will never leave."

Squall swallowed, though he didn't let any of his own fear show through.His last promise he hadn't been able to keep.Had to be strong, for Rinoa."I promise we'll never be apart, Rinoa.I promise."

The raven haired sorceress brushed her lips against his cheek, her shuddering ceasing as she felt comfortable in his arms, never wishing to leave.And they stayed in that position for a long time that night, without saying another word.

Chapter IX:

Although Squall and Rinoa tried to say as little as possible the next morning, the countless questions thrown upon them by their friends eventually forced them to tell everything that had happened during the night.Also, the fact that Rinoa's eyes remained yellow made it hard to hide anything.For Edea, it was no surprise.She knew that sooner or later, the powers that lurked inside the young girl would surface.She herself had experienced this when she was only a child, having received her first sorceress powers at the age of 5, and later Ultimecia's powers as well.Now Rinoa was carrying this burden, and while Edea had regained the original, dark colour of her eyes and started dressing as she had when she was Matron at the orphanage, Rinoa's eyes were now a glowing golden, warning everyone who looked at them of who she was, and what she was.

To say the least, Rinoa despised this.As cheerful as bright as she usually was, this morning she was acting sombre and depressed.Squall, while showing next to nothing on the outside, was deeply worried.Not because Rinoa was a sorceress, but because of how he knew she felt about it.Hell, he would follow her to the end of the world if it came down to that.He would do anything, as long as it was for her.

It didn't get any better when Cid cancelled both Quistis' and Squall's classes that day, much to the joy of the students, and called all six of the so-called 'Sorceress Team' up to his office.Edea was, as usual, present, having been spending almost all her time with Cid after they were reunited.After all, they were husband and wife, and hadn't seen each other for years, both knowing very well that Cid might have to order Edea's death.And though he did have to give that order, luckily it was never carried out as it was intended.Edea still lived, as a normal woman and not a sorceress now, and she was happy to help Cid with his work when she could, and also be with him on a more private basis when he had time off.The former orphanage children were glad to see them back together.

And so they were sitting there in the headmaster's office again, waiting for Cid to tell them what was on his mind.Selphie was glaring at Irvine now and then, still quite upset from the incidents the day before.Annoyed and upset at the same time because she wouldn't understand, the cowboy could only glare right back.Women.Can't live with them, can certainly not live without them.

"SeeDs," Cid began, but then glanced at Rinoa and regretted his choice of words, clearing his voice, "…and Rinoa.Up until now, the election in Galbadia has been running surprisingly peacefully and fairly.Though, as I feared would happen, the peace was abruptly put to an end last night."Pausing, the headmaster gazed at the curious teenagers, his expression growing unusually grim, "Around 11:00 pm Galbadian time last night, General Philip Caraway was found murdered in his mansion."

A group gasp of shock echoed through the room, and even Squall looked visibly surprised.

"What?" Quistis snapped.

"Aw man…," Zell muttered to himself.

Then, as everybody suddenly remembered, all eyes turned to Rinoa.The young sorceress held both hands over her mouth, yellow eyes wide and teary.No matter what disagreements they had, Caraway had still been her father, and he had loved her as she had once loved him in return, back when she still was a child and didn't understand.Now he was dead.Dead, and she would never get the chance to rebuild a broken relationship.And she who had rejected his offer to come visit, just weeks earlier."N-no… That can't be true…," she shook her hand repeatedly, wanting to cry and just let it all out, but not finding herself able to.Squall eventually gave in to the mental discussion in his head where Shiva kept demanding he should hug Rinoa, and reached out to let her find comfort in his arms as she had the night before.Hand finding its way to the twin rings on her necklace, Rinoa clutched them tightly.One was the Griever ring that had belonged to Squall, matching the medallion he still wore, and the other ring was smaller, and thinner.It had been her mother's wedding band.

"Oh, dear child," Edea walked over to Rinoa, lightly resting a hand on her shoulder, "You mustn't blame yourself.You couldn't know."

_The nightmare…_ Rinoa remembered,_The nightmare… I was all alone.My father… my mother, both gone. _And Squall?She couldn't recall him being a part of the dream.

_ _

Pulling away from both Squall and Edea, Rinoa wiped her moist eyes, refusing to let the others see her in such a weak state.They were all watching her, Quistis and Irvine with some mild sort of curiosity, Selphie and Zell with slight concern.Sorceresses could not be weak."How?" Rinoa eventually asked, voice barely a whisper, "Who?"

Cid sighed heavily, "No one knows who the true murderer is.But officially, it is said that Caraway's advisor, a man named Adar Nalhan, is the guilty one.Supposedly he stole one of the guards' gun and shot his general, out of jealousy of Caraway's position.These accusations are led my the new president, chosen immediately as they needed one under the circumstances, and he seems to be the only one qualified."

"Zolqer Temeka," Irvine said with a slight frown.Galbadian military leaders had never been on his list of people to like.Not that he cared that much for Caraway, either, but at least the way the general intended to lead the large country seemed decent enough.Temeka was bound to be trouble.

"Exactly," Cid replied, "An investigation has been started.Basically, they are looking for evidence that can prove Nalhan is the guilty one.Meanwhile, Nalhan is kept imprisoned in his own house.But luckily, he has contacts as well, as not nearly everyone is loyal to Temeka.This is where SeeD and you come in."

Quistis nodded, "Nalhan is just an innocent man to take the blame to satisfy the people, isn't he?"

"So Nalhan says himself.We've gotten a request from none other than him to help him dig up evidence to prove he is _not_ guilty.I'm sure you can imagine who he suspects arranged this whole thing."

Squall frowned, "So why SeeD?"

Cid clasped his hands on his back, starting to pace back and forth, "Because he needs someone who stands on the outside.Furthermore, he needs someone capable of fighting, as things are far from calm in Galbadia.Deling City is a mass of upset people right now, and Galbadian soldiers have to rather forcefully keep them back.Also, it appears that Temeka has an army ready to take control over Timber again, and is preparing an attack on Dollet.We've been receiving information about the situation the whole morning."

Rinoa blinked and perked up then, "Timber?They're going to attack Timber?"

"Well, it's not necessary to _attack_.Timber can't do much to defend themselves.But word has it that there's a new resistance group forming there."Cid said, "As you might have expected, I'm assigning you five for this mission.Plus Nida – he's already been briefed earlier this morning."

"Five?" Rinoa protested, "You mean I'm being left here?"

Cid lifted an eyebrow, "Well, Rinoa, you are not a SeeD…"

"I'm a sorceress!" the girl stood up from her chair, hands on her hips, "And this is my father we're talking about.And Timber!I have _friends_ there!"

Squall shook his head, standing too and taking one step forward to face her, "He's right, Rinoa.After what happened tonight…"The others nodded in agreement.

"But I'm fine now!Squall, I can't believe you're taking their side," Rinoa snapped, turning to him, "What are you saying?Are you saying all of you are going away to investigate the death of _my_ father, and you won't let me come?Don't you understand how I feel?"

Frowning, Squall started to become frustrated himself."I only want you to be safe!"_Why can't she understand that?_

_ _

"I am _not_ a china doll.Stop treating me like one!"With that, Rinoa fled the room.Squall wanted to go after her, but hesitated as he looked back at Cid.

The headmaster rubbed the side of his forehead with two fingers, sighing slowly again, "You will be leaving this afternoon, taking a ship from Balamb Town to Dollet.You'll get all the details then.I'd let you use Ragnarok, but I can't want you to draw too much attention.That will be all.Dismissed."

As they walked out, Irvine gave Squall a sympatric pat on the back, "Chicks.I'll never understand them."

Selphie snorted as she darted past them both, "Men!"

And Squall pressed a hand against his forehead.


	4. Chapters 10 - 12

Chapter X:

Squall was standing on the deck of the Garden Battle Cruiser, watching as the town of Dollet became larger and larger against the horizon.It strongly reminded him of the last time he was there, only two months earlier, yet it seemed like forever.He had been going to Dollet along with Zell and Seifer to pass his SeeD field exam.That time was so distant – so much had changed.For one thing, he wasn't a mere cadet anymore, but a top ranking A SeeD and a Commander on top of that.Cid, the funny little man he was, had of course made Squall the leader of this mission.It hardly surprised the boy anymore – Cid would always push responsibilities upon him that he didn't want.Then again, what had he been expecting when he first became a student at Garden?What had he hoped for after becoming a SeeD?

It came across to him that becoming a SeeD had never actually been a choice of his.It was just something that had always been there.Fight, be the best, rival Seifer, become SeeD – it was just something he was supposed to do.He had never asked himself why.Later, as memories of Matron and the orphanage came back to him, he realized there hadn't been any chance to make a choice.Matron had suddenly found better things to attend to – all the other children were adopted, and he and Seifer were sent to Garden at the age of 10 and 11.And now?Squall wasn't sure.SeeD had been his only life and Garden his only home until… Rinoa.

Rinoa; she was the most important change.No matter what he thought about these days, no matter what he was brooding over, it all seemed to come down to Rinoa.She had stomped off in anger from Cid's office that morning, and when Squall and the others left Garden in the afternoon, she had only been sad to see him go.Really, he had wished he could stay there with her, but…This was his job.And Rinoa would be much safer in Garden than coming with them on a mission.

Ellone and Laguna had left late the night before.After they had all had shared a dinner together, Squall had made a quick exit to avoid getting into any conversation.It annoyed him that he still was so unable to open up, but, truth was he just didn't want to get close to Ellone again.She had been his Sis once, though after seeing her again…He was the one protecting her, all of a sudden, she wasn't the big sister he remembered.Maybe someday later, he would talk with her.It was still too soon.And Laguna…Laguna was as much of a moron as ever, chattering endlessly through the entire dinner, acting even more nervous than usual.Perhaps it was because Kiros and Ward weren't there.So…Laguna was sort of an adopted father to Ellone, or at least an uncle, and that woman he had seen in the 'dream world' – Raine - was Ellone's adopted mother.Ellone had said she died…Was that why Ellone ended up at an orphanage along with all of them?

Something about this bothered Squall, and he wasn't sure what it was.

_(Brooding again, are we, my dear?)_

_ _

_… Whatever._

_ _

_(You're almost there.Better get back down to the others.)_

_ _

_I'm able to see that myself, thank you.Look, I'll summon you if I need you, Shiva._

_ _

_(Sure… Go ahead and give me the cold shoulder.)_The Guardian Force snickered at her own pun, and Squall rolled his eyes, walking down below deck again.

The sky was beginning to darken as the six of them – Squall, Quistis, Selphie, Irvine, Zell and Nida – entered Dollet.They were going to travel to Deling City by rented car to save time, but the rental shop was probably already closed by then.Selphie and Irvine were still keeping a certain distance from each other, and the others didn't find it so amusing anymore.They very rarely stayed angry that long.And so both of them were quiet, and Zell saw his chance to comment on the situation as they stood outside the closed car rental shop, "Well, unless we wanna walk, it doesn't look like we're goin' anywhere tonight."

Quistis and Nida nodded quietly in agreement.Nida had been quite surprised when he had been assigned to this mission – usually, he was left behind to tend to the Garden's control system, having officially been made the pilot not long after the Sorceress Battle.He guessed Cid had finally understood he wanted to get out a little more often too.The headmaster had told him he didn't stand out, but that he should try to make the best out of being a SeeD, anyway.And that was what he was intending to do.Not stand out.Hah, well, he'd show them.He used a short sword in battle, a little similar to the swords the Galbadian Army used, though less advanced than the gunblade.At least he could cause a pretty decent amount of damage if he wanted to.And with GF Diablos junctioned, there shouldn't be any problem.

Seeing they were all looking at him for making the decision, Squall placed a hand on his hip and sighed, shrugging, "I guess we'll just stay at the local hotel over night, then.We're not supposed to arrive before tomorrow afternoon, anyway.First thing in the morning, we rent a couple cars and leave."

They turned and walked down the street again to find the hotel.Dollet was a rather shabby looking, yet friendly town.It hardly had any of the charm that Winhill had, but in certain areas, those that were the furthest away from the centre of the city, it could be pretty nice.And the group was just passing by a house lying in one of those areas, close to the sandy beach and the sea, when a voice called towards them.

"Quistis??"

All of them turned to see an aging woman standing in the door of the small house, a man about her own age – most likely her husband – standing next to her.They huddled together under the cool evening breeze, staring at Quistis.She was small, with dark blonde hair and grey eyes, while he was black haired and tall, and watched the group with hard, green eyes.

Selphie canted her head in curiosity and mild surprise, slinking up next to Squall, "Who is _that_?"

Squall frowned and shook his head, "How should I know?"

The woman took a couple of steps forward, ignoring everyone but the blonde instructor, "Quistis, is that really you?"Squall cast a glance at Quistis – she seemed unfazed, but the discomfort in her eyes revealed her true feelings about the situation.Finally, she gave a nod, and the woman smiled widely, "Quistis!I hadn't expected you to…Oh, how are you doing?It's been so long since we last saw you!"The eyes of the man in the background seemed to turn even harder, but he still said nothing.

Quistis sighed softly, "I am fine,I'm just here on a mission.How have you both been doing?"

"Well, it's been lonely, but… we're getting by," the woman replied, a little sadly.Squall lifted an eyebrow, and Irvine cleared his throat, causing the woman to abruptly turn to the rest of the team, "Oh, pardon me!I was just so excited to see Quistis again…Quistis, why don't you introduce me to your friends?"

A little hesitantly, Quistis nodded again, looking almost apologetic as she glanced back at the other members of her team, "This is Commander Squall Leonhart, and SeeD members Selphie Tilmitt, Irvine Kinneas, Zell Dincht and… uh… Nida," she pointed to each of them in turn.

The woman smiled, "Pleased to meet you all."The man had walked up to them now as well, but he looked much less pleasant than his wife.Deep green eyes falling upon Quistis, he finally spoke in a deep voice.

"You sure did take your time to visit.But I guess three years go by quickly over there in Balamb Garden."

"Richard, don't," the woman next to him scolded, but her forced smile reappeared as soon as she looked back to the others, "How long are you here for?"

Quistis started to say something, but Squall beat her to it.He didn't know who these people were, nor did he really care, but he was starting to get tired of standing around waiting, "Just for the night.We're staying at the hotel."

"Well!"The woman said brightly, "Then why don't you stay here with us?We don't have much room to offer, but at least it's for free."

"I don't know…," Quistis said quietly.Zell and Selphie were both watching her confusedly now, their expressions demanding to know who the aging couple were, while Irvine and Squall exchanged glances and shrugged.

"Come on, now.We've missed you so much, Quistis.Can't you at least stay for a night?"without waiting for a reply, the woman turned back to her husband, "Richard, go inside and put out the extra beds.I'll find the pillows and sheets."Reluctantly, the man left, but not before scowling at the group another time.Another smile from the woman, and then she scurried after her husband, "Just show them inside, Quistis.Make yourselves comfortable!"

The moment the door shut, everybody turned to Quistis.Irvine was the first to ask, "So, like… Who _are_ they, Quisty?"

Shaking her head slowly to herself, Quistis looked towards the house with a pensive expression, "Amalia and Richard Trepe."

"Say WHAT?!"Zell burst out.

Selphie bounced once, "They're your _parents_??"

"Foster parents," Quistis added sharply,"We never got along…," dismissing the subject with a wave of her hand, she approached the house, "Let's just get inside.If nothing else, Amalia is good at cooking."

The others looked at each other, then slowly followed.It was apparently going to be a long night.

Chapter XI:

Quistis was right:Amalia knew how to cook.Despite the enjoyable meal, though, the mood of the room hadn't been one of the best.Squall could practically feel the thick tension in the air, but for once, it wasn't centred around him.Amalia chattered nervously all the time with a forced cheerfulness in her voice, trying to pass off the whole thing as any normal family dinner.Quistis replied with short answers and smiled faintly now and then, though the expression behind that faked confidence practically screamed 'get me out of this!'Richard was quiet most of the time, and when he spoke, it was in a chilly tone, asking about impersonal things like what Quistis was doing in Garden and how much she was paid.And since Selphie and Irvine didn't get along at the moment, the others couldn't be relied on for normal conversation, either.Irvine and Zell would exchange a few words at a couple occasions, and Selphie helped Amalia break the silence when the woman ran out of topics, but otherwise, not much was said.As was well-known, Squall didn't like to talk much, and neither did Nida it seemed.But at least he was appearing to follow the chatter around the table, while Squall seemed plainly uninterested, which he also was.

Less than two hours later, the Trepes had done to bed, leaving the six SeeDs gathered by the beds Amalia had made for them in the living room.Well, there were only two extra beds, leaving the rest of them to sleep on the floor in their bedrolls.There was a short argument between Zell, Irvine and Selphie over who should get the beds, until the guys finally decided that the two girls should have them.They were all ready to go to sleep, but yet didn't.Now was the time to ask questions without being disturbed.

"So how come you've never told us about your foster parents, Quistis?"Selphie asked.She was lying on her stomach on the bed with her legs bent up behind her and her head rested in her hands, the light from the fireplace reflecting in her green eyes as she watched the older female.

Sighing, the blonde woman sat on the edge of her own bed and turned her gaze downwards, "We never got along.They adopted me from Matron's orphanage when I was about… I don't know…Eight, I think.Guess you all don't remember that because of the Guardian Forces," she turned around to look at them.Everyone was watching her more or less curiously, so she continued, "Amalia means well.She constantly talks and always pretends everything is fine, even if you can see straight through her cover.I suppose I could have tolerated her, but she'd get on my nerves in the long run.And Richard… Richard is just like what you saw, the time.Cold, harsh and demanding.I couldn't stand him, and I don't think he likes me much, either.In fact, I think it was his idea to send me to Garden in the first place.So I went to Balamb when I was ten, and the last time I visited my foster parents was when I was fifteen."

And with that, she seemed to put the subject behind her, her gaze returning to the floor with a sombre, yet calm look.No one dared to ask any further, and an awkward silence followed, before Selphie broke it once again like she always did, "Hey, what's everyone else's story?I got adopted straight into Trabia Garden.See, the headmaster there really liked me!" she chirped, "And all my friends there were like, my family."

Squall glanced at the sunny girl, a ever so faint smile on his lips, but it was hardly visible to anyone else.As annoying as Selphie was, he wondered what their group would be like without her.Trust her to always lighten the mood.It amazed him that someone who started out as an orphan like himself could turn out so entirely different, and have so much energy, enough to stay happy at almost all times.He watched her expression darken to a slightly hurt and angry one as she turned to look at Irvine.How long was she going to stay upset this time?

Irvine rolled his shoulders in a shrug, pulling away a bang of reddish hair from his face with his hand.He sat on his bedroll, his cowboy hat resting in his lap, "I remember everything pretty well, though I guess it's only a matter of time before the GFs start eatin' on my mind too.The Kinneas couple adopted me when I was, like, nine or something.They're livin' out on this ranch on the plains of Galbadia.Gonna visit them again soon, in fact.My foster father taught me all I need to know about guns and horses," he grinned vaguely.

"And women?" Quistis shot in, sarcastically.

"Uh, no…," Irvine gave Selphie a nervous look, "… I picked up that part myself.Anyway, I joined Galbadia Garden at fourteen, mainly to earn some money, became the resident sharpshooter over there, and well… You know the rest."

"Well, I lived in Balamb with Ma all this time," Zell began, leaning back against the wall as he sat on his own bedroll, "My father… well, guess he turned out to be my adoptive father, died on the sea when I was really little, so it was just me, Ma and Grandpa.I tried to live up to become just like my Grandpa.He was a really awesome martial artist!See, even got a tattoo like him." Proudly he turned his face to show off the black tattoo on the left side, as if none of them had seen it before.

"What about you, Nida?" Selphie asked suddenly, "We don't even know your last name!You're just, like… Nida."

Surprised at being given attention and not ignored for once, Nida looked up, "Huh?Me?Uh… I don't have any interesting story like you guys.Grew up in Fisherman's Horizon, with parents and all.Really boring life really, so I went to Garden.And… Nida is actually my last name.You're the first who've bothered to ask," he grinned wryly, "My first name's Elias."

Selphie blinked lightly, "Elias?"

"… that's…," Zell started.

"… a nice name," said Quistis.

Nida smirked, "Sure, whatever."

"Can we all just go to sleep now?"Squall asked from his corner from where he had been quietly observing the entire time, "We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

Quistis gave him a light-hearted, teasing smile, narrowing her eyes, "Yes, sir."

Squall groaned, "Please don't-"

"-call me that," Quistis finished for him, then giggled.Selphie soon joined in.Frowning, Squall decided to simply ignore them as he laid down onto his bedroll, pulling the extra blanket Amalia had offered over himself.

"Hey, Sefie…"

Selphie woke a couple of hours later at a soft whisper by her ear and someone gently nudging her shoulder.Blinking sleepy green eyes open, she rolled over to look straight into the face of Irvine.His long, auburn hair wasn't tied back for once and he had left his cowboy hat behind, but he seemed wide awake, "Irvine… It's the middle of the night.Go away," she mumbled, turning away from him again to go back to sleep.

But he wouldn't leave her alone.Gently taking a hold of her arm, Irvine attempted to pull her out of the bed, "Come on, come with me outside.I want to show you something."

"What?"Selphie frowned and tried to get her arm free, but she did sit up in bed, "I'm not going anywhere with _you_!"

The cowboy let go of her and watched her with a pleading look, "Please?Don't protest too loudly, you'll wake the others."

"Fine," it was rare to see the sunny girl this grumpy, and that didn't make Irvine any less nervous.Funny how he was so confident around all other girls and could just smooth talk his way out of it if they became upset with him – or he just didn't care too much that they were.Selphie was different.

She pulled on her boots and brushed her fingers through her hair, the usually neat curls on the ends now unruly from her sleep.Reluctantly she followed Irvine as he carefully opened the door and went outside, hugging herself to stay warm in the chilly night.

Irvine led her down to the beach, finally stopping by few large boulders.The waves were washing up around the rocks, the moonlight and stars reflecting in the clear sea water.It was beautiful, but Selphie still didn't cheer up.Why was she so jealous?She should have known something like this would happen.Irvine, the ladies' man… he'd never stick to just one girl.But somehow… a part of her had secretly hoped he would be hers.She had never even been interested in boys before.Why him?Why was he so different?

"Why did you take me out here?"She asked, watching the ocean and not him.

"Hey, I…," Irvine turned around to watch her, "I just wanted to say… I'm sorry.Are you ever even going to talk to me again?"

Selphie moved emerald eyes to him, her expression hurt, "You _kissed_ her."

"No, I didn't.She kissed me."

"What's the difference?"

"I've tried to explain this.The difference is; I didn't want her to," Irvine sighed.

Turning away from him again, Selphie shuddered in the coldness, "Since when did Irvine Kinneas stop wanting women to kiss him?"

A moment of hesitation, then Irvine stepped closer to her, "… Since I met you again."Shaking his head, he lowered his gaze to the ground, "I never thought I'd… you know, just want to settle down with one girl.But… Even if you all have forgotten most about the orphanage, I still remember how I always enjoyed spending time with you then.And that hasn't changed.Sure, I might still… _look_ now and then, but it doesn't mean anything.Please, Selphie?"

Looking up into his dark blue eyes, Selphie actually saw sincerity in them.And perhaps… something else.Those beautiful blue eyes and that handsome face – oh, didn't he already know that she wanted to be with him?Still, something held her back from just jumping right into his arms and forgive him.Maybe it was self-respect."Irvy… I… need some time think about it, okay?"

There were few things that could put a damper on Selphie's mood, and Irvine was ashamed he had become one of them.Though he didn't say this, and just nodded, "That's fine.That's… okay.I can wait."He saw she was cold, and took off his coat, gently wrapping it around her shoulders, and she didn't resist.The two of them stayed there for a while, just watching the sea in silence.

The sound of someone leaving the house woke him.Squall had a habit of sleeping very lightly, a result of being a SeeD and being taught to always be on guard.He hadn't been able to sleep very well, anyway.Way too much on his mind.Standing, he decided to take a little walk outside himself to sort things out in his mind.Perhaps then he could go to sleep afterwards.

He could see Selphie and Irvine down by the beach, but he didn't head in their direction.Instead, he stayed inside the little area around the house that could barely be called a garden, leaning his hands against the fence as he looked up at the sky.Heh, he half expected to see a shooting star, but that just wouldn't be right if Rinoa wasn't there.Not a day had gone by, and he already missed her.How was that possible?He worried about her, too, naturally.This whole sorceress thing… it was troubling her badly.And there was always a possibility her powers could get her in danger.

_Quit thinking like that._

_ _

"Squall?"Turning his head, he found Quistis approaching him, her blonde hair pinned up even now.Everything was so neat about her, perfection, even when walking about in her foster parents' garden in the middle of the night."You couldn't sleep either?"

Squall turned back to look at the sky, offering a light shrug, "I'm just thinking."

Quistis smiled lightly, coming to a halt as she stood next to him, "Again?"She giggled lightly at the expression on his face as she said that, but quickly calmed down, turning serious again, "I know… I think too much too.This really wasn't expected, you know.I'm sorry we had to stay with my parents… Amalia can be rather pushy."

He glanced at her._At least you have parents…Even if they're just foster parents.No one wanted to adopt me, same with Seifer.I don't blame them, though._

_ _

_(Why don't you voice your thoughts, Squall?)_

_ _

_…_

_ _

"… At least you have parents, Quistis."

She was surprised at that – Quistis hadn't expected Squall Leonhart to reply to her rants, much less had she expected the faint tone of emotion in his voice."Well, I bear their last name… But I still feel like Garden is my only family.It's always been like that."She paused briefly, "You feel like that too, Squall?"

_I used to.Rinoa is the family I want now._

_ _

And that was quite obvious to Quistis, apparently, "You really do love her, don't you?"Monotone.Just too monotone to be Quistis.

Squall frowned.What was he supposed to reply to that?Why was she asking all these questions?Why was everyone always so interested in his private life?So he cared about Quistis, she was one of his friends and all, but part of him still saw her as his instructor and it felt awkward talking to her like this.But despite this, he eventually nodded vaguely in response.He did love Rinoa, and he was only beginning to realize how much.

"You're lucky…," Quistis said in a dreamy voice, looking up at the sky for a few seconds, before turning and walking back inside.

Chapter XII:

"Rinoa?"

There was a hesitant, but persistent knock on the door to Rinoa and Squall's dorm room, but Rinoa refused to open.She was lying on the bed, head buried against the pillow, and when the knocking continued, she mumbled a muffled, "Go away!"

The girl outside narrowed her eyes in worry, pausing, then knocked again, "Rinoa, it's me.Jadina.Please, let me in?" No response.It wasn't like Rinoa to behave like this, and even Jadina, who didn't know her all that well, was concerned."Are you sure you don't want to talk?You've been in there ever since yesterday."

Still no reply.Giving up, Jadina turned to leave, "All right.If that's what you want," she said before walking down the hall.

No, this wasn't like Rinoa, and she had realized that herself.But all these new emotions about being a sorceress, her love for Squall, and now her father's death and her lover's refusal of coming with them on the mission... they had done something to her.She wouldn't have minded so much if it had been just Cid who denied it, but Squall – she had thought he would understand.She wanted to see her friends from the Forest Owls again, wanted to say she was sorry… And perhaps most of all, she wanted to be with Squall.Edea had experience with sorceresses, but Rinoa only wanted Squall to comfort her.That was bizarre.She was angry at him, yet wanted to be with him.Always.

_I'm so confused!Why can't things be more simple?I want to be with Squall, yet I feel like I'm stuck here.Trapped.I'm trapped, they won't let me go anywhere…_

_ _

Slowly, her hand slid up to grab the two rings on her necklace – rings that had belonged to the two people she loved most.Her mother, Julia Heartilly, and Squall… Her fingers felt the smooth surface of his Griever ring, and then she proceeded to hold it tightly against her chest.A sudden urge washed over her.Rinoa could not go on like this.There were so many things she was wondering about, so many things undone, that she needed to do before she could live happily with Squall for the rest of her life.That was how fairy tales were supposed to end, right?The princess with her prince, forever.

_Mom.Dad. …I never got to say goodbye to any of them.Zone, Watts… I wonder how they're all doing?… And… Seifer… Seifer, I wonder where you are…_

_ _

Rolling out of bed and rubbing tearstained, golden eyes, Rinoa stood.This emotion inside of her, this sense of… of power, it grew.It was a feeling that had never been there before, it didn't belong to her, yet somehow it fit so perfectly.It felt so natural.Angelo suddenly got to her paws as if waking with a start, and began to pace back and forth nervously, barking at Rinoa and staring at her with wide, black eyes.

"I'm sorry, Angelo.I'll be back…"Closing her eyes, Rinoa felt the power flow through her like a river of tickling, sparkling sensations.It was like that time in the Training Centre with the T-rexaur, but not so hostile and dangerous.It was as natural as she felt when she and Squall were together in the most intimate of ways, but not so pleasurable and safe.There was just this new confidence in her – she had no idea what she was doing, but her instincts did.Instincts that weren't really hers, but Hyne's.

Angelo's barking increased and then faded to a frightened whimper as a strong, purplish-white glow surrounded Rinoa's entire body, and the room was bathed in light.

_Forgive me, Squall._

__

__

"I'm really worried about her, Mrs. Kramer.She won't talk, won't come out of her room," Jadina shook her head softly as she spoke, heading through the dormitory along with Edea and Xu.The two older women looked at each other, and Edea sighed.

"It's only natural for her to react like this.So much has been going on in her life, and I know what it's like when one's sorceress powers are evolving.It's very frightening in the beginning, to find out how much strength and power you suddenly possess…"

Xu nodded, "But I agree with Miss Letris.You should speak with her, Edea, you know what is happening to her better than anyone else."

Jadina stopped in front of the dorm room that read 'Leonhart & Heartilly' on the door sign outside, "Rinoa?"

"Rinoa," Edea said, "Please, darling, I'd like to talk with you.Don't you remember, you were the one who stopped Squall from locking himself up, and now you're doing just the same thing to yourself, only literally."

No sound but Angelo's barks came from inside.Jadina reached for the handle, "It's locked."

Edea glanced at Xu, "You have the keys, don't you?"

"Always," Xu said, stepping forward to unlock the door, "I don't normally do this, but…"

The door opened.The headmaster's wife, the SeeD and the cadet all blinked.The window was closed, the dog was running around in circles and whimpering.Jadina gaped, "I… I swear, she was here just a minute ago!"

Xu put her hands on her hips, "So where is she now?"

The six SeeDs had departed from Dollet early that morning by car, and as the sun just began to fall from its highest point, they arrived outside Deling City.Selphie and Irvine were noticeably affected by their own problems, even though they were riding in separate cars.Squall couldn't let himself be bothered by it.It was none of his business, and he had other things to worry about, like being leader of the mission.

As they entered the city, the group was immediately stopped by three Galbadian soldiers."Halt!I can't remember seeing any of you before.What business do you have in Deling City?" one of them asked.

Squall eyed them.This was arranged by Caraway's advisor, Adar – the loyalist soldiers would be on guard today and all Squall was supposed to do was to tell them who they were.Still not feeling entirely sure about them, he replied evenly, "I'm Squall Leonhart.We're SeeDs hired by-"

"Not so loud!" another soldier hissed.He looked around cautiously, then waved a hand at them, "Follow us.We'll take you to the house where Mr. Nalhan is being held captured, but we have to be careful."

Looking at Quistis for confirmation, Squall saw her nod and then turned back to the soldiers, "Fine.Lead the way."

Adar Nalhan's house wasn't as big and impressive as the late Caraway's mansion, but it certainly wasn't any poor man's home.Several guards stood outside the building, glaring suspiciously at the SeeDs as the three soldiers took them to the entrance and into the building.After walking up some stairs and down a hall, they were finally taken into a large room.A man of about forty years old with greyish black hair and brown eyes sat in a chair by the middle of the room, two guards accompanying him, but they were obviously loyalists too.As the newcomers entered, he stood up, his hands behind his back, "Ah.The SeeDs I requested have arrived, I see?"

Taking on the role as leader once again, Squall stepped forward, "Adar Nalhan?I am… Commander Squall Leonhart of Balamb Garden.These are SeeDs Quistis Trepe, Zell Dincht, Selphie Tilmitt, Irvine Kinneas and… Elias Nida."He pretended not to see Nida's scowl.

"Good, good," Adar went closer and reached out to shake hands with Squall, but the boy just stood there, his expression indifferent.The mission may have been important to the entire future of Galbadia, but to him it was still just a job.Clearing his voice, Adar moved to greet all the others before heading back to his chair, "As you know, I have hired you to investigate the death of General Caraway, perhaps more so to prove Zolqer Temeka's guilt than my innocence.Now, no one truly knows who killed him, as no one ever saw the murderer.I have a theory, however, that Temeka planted an assassin among Caraway's own soldiers.This assassin then found the chance to see the General alone for a while, enter his office, take out his gun…And when it was all over with, he could have quickly escaped and mingled with the other guards."

"Do you have any way to prove this, Mr. Nalhan?"Quistis asked.The man shook his head.

"No.As I said, no one saw what happened.The other soldiers only heard the gunshot, but couldn't see any trace when they found the body.No fingerprints, nothing.So that's why I've hired you – to find the truth," Adar explained.

Irvine frowned slightly, "And where were _you_ that evening?"

Zell nodded, "Yeah, I've been wonderin' about that too!"

Adar seemed mildly shocked, and rose once again, his eyes narrowing, "One thing I do know:I did _not_ murder Philip Caraway!I had no reason to whatsoever.Temeka is trying to push the blame on me to get rid of all opponents.He knows I was close to Caraway and can easily pull out all the dirt on Temeka's name that Caraway had found.But if you must know, I was here in my house that evening.Alone.And yes, I know that's a horrible alibi."

He paused, "Anyway…You already know why I hired you in the first place.However, there has been a change of plans, and if you are willing to do this, there is no time to lose, even if I doubt there's much you _can_ do," Adar sighed, and Squall's finally started to seem interested.

"You probably know that Temeka had an army ready to both keep Timber under control and one ready to attack Dollet.However, a new resistance group in Timber has spoken up a bit too loudly.Three young resistance members attacked a small troop of Galbadian soldiers last night.They were bullying around a couple female citizens, and these unknown youngsters stepped in and killed five of the soldiers, while only one escaped.Now Temeka has decided to set an example, it seems.He has gathered both armies into one, and they're all moving towards Timber in this instant – judging from the heavy machinery and weapons, my only guess is that he's planning on crushing Timber completely."

A gasp went through the room, and Selphie shrieked, "That's horrible!"

Squall frowned deeply.They were only six SeeDs - what could they do?"So what are we supposed to do about it?"

A quiet beeping sound kept Adar from answering.Nida pulled up a small, black communicator - that looked vaguely like a walkie-talkie - from his pocket and put it to his ear, "Yes?What? … How?"

Selphie leaned in towards Zell, "What's that?"

Zell glanced sideways at her, "Message from Garden.Must be important."

"They can do that?" Selphie blinked.The spike haired blonde nodded.

"After the communication interference disappeared, they can do lots of stuff."

Nida's expression turned into a mildly concerned one, and he held up a hand for the others to wait as he saw the curious looks on their faces, "I understand.Yes, yes I'll tell him.Nida out."

As he put down the communicator, Quistis was actually the first to ask, "What is it?"Adar stayed silent for the time being, though he seemed a little irritated at the interruption.

"It was a message from Headmaster Cid," Nida explained, turning to give Squall a slightly nervous look, "Squall… Sir.It appears that Rinoa is… gone."

_What?!_

_ _

"Gone?"Squall snapped, "What do you mean 'gone'?Where is she?"

"No one knows, Sir," Nida said, "They searched through the entire Garden, but she's just not there.Normally they wouldn't interrupt a mission like this, but considering Miss Hearilly's… condition…"

Selphie tilted her head and looked around at the others for an answer, "Where could she be?"

Irvine shrugged, Quistis just shook her head, and Zell scratched the back of his head."What's all this about?" Adar asked, but Squall was silent, ignoring him.

_She was so upset she couldn't come on the mission.Could she have run away?Just like that?She wouldn't do that…How could she without anyone noticing it?More importantly, where would she have gone?_

_ _

A sudden thought occurred to him then, and he felt something tighten in his throat.He whirled around to face the others, "Rinoa…We have to get to Timber, _now_!"

"What?"Selphie chirped, "Why?"

But Squall was already on his way out.Nothing else mattered to him right then, no orders or missions could stop him.Quistis gave Adar an apologetic look before following the others.The investigation could wait – Timber next stop.


	5. Chapters 13 - 15

Chapter XIII:

There was darkness.

Then Rinoa opened her eyes, coffee brown turned golden yellow shining through the dim light of the back alley.She blinked.Turned left, turned right, pinching her own arm to confirm that she was indeed awake.What surrounded her was not a plain, but nice little dorm room of Garden, but dirty walls and overfilled garbage cans.And the thing was, she knew this place.She knew it all too well.

Stepping forward, she rounded the corner, hands lifting to cover her mouth to keep herself from gasping in surprise as she looked around.Worn, old streets, so familiar.Buildings she knew better than she knew her own father's mansion.Busy, worried, but stubborn people walking in the streets, people who had fought for their freedom through the last 17 years.She was… She was in Timber.The last thing she could remember was thinking about her friends in Timber, and then the rest was a blur, until she found herself here.Sorceress… Could it be that her powers had brought her here?Zone, Watts… Had they went back here after the White SeeDs moved to Trabia Garden?Most likely.They would never abandon the town they lived and breathed and fought for, for so many years.They wouldn't leave it behind… like she had.

_Oh God…I can't face them now!_

_ _

Back-pedaling into the alley again, she blocked out the sight of the citizens, and at the same time avoiding anyone seeing her.They couldn't get a glimpse of her characteristic blue and black clothes – they'd recognize her.And accuse her.What would she tell them?That she had become what the entire country – no, the entire world – had feared for so long?Breathing hard, Rinoa pressed her back against the moist wall, closing her eyes.What had she done?Could she get back to Garden the same way she had come?Squall would be so concerned when he found out she was gone…Maybe he'd be angry?

Wait, what right would he have to be angry at her?She made her own decisions, they were none of his business.But he was her knight…And wasn't a knight supposed to stay by his sorceress' side?_He_ had left _her_ behind.

_What am I thinking?I can't accuse Squall, I know he only did what he had to do.Why do I feel this way?Why am I so confused about everything?_

_ _

Right then, she felt like screaming more than anything, yelling out to Hyne and tell Her to take Her damn powers back.She didn't want them!She didn't want to be in possession of powers which she couldn't understand, of which she knew no limits.She had killed that T-rexaur, without a weapon, without a Guardian Force – she, Rinoa Heartilly Caraway, had completely butchered a huge monster with a mere swipe of her hand.She had travelled to another town with her own mystical forces in a matter of seconds – a trip which would usually take hours by train.This was not the Rinoa she wanted to be.She wanted her eyes to be warm brown and not startling golden.She wanted to love Squall with her body, soul and heart, without having to know that she was superior to him.Without having to know she was his sorceress, he was her knight, and what if she could control him like Ultimecia had controlled-

There was a crash from somewhere deeper within the alley, and Rinoa turned, gasping.Had they caught her?

But there was no one there but a black cat that leapt down from one of the garbage cans, looking at her with green eyes and mewing, before running away and disappearing out of her sight.Letting out a sigh of relief, the girl relaxed.

_I'm being paranoid…_

_ _

A strong hand rested on her shoulder, and her breath stopped in her throat.

"Rinoa?"

She whirled around, ready to defend herself from whoever it was, but stopped as she looked into a very familiar face, "…Watts?"

The boy, barely a year or two older than her, offered a smile and nodded.Rinoa wanted to throw her arms around him in a hug, but restrained herself from giving in to that impulse.The beginning smile on her face faded as she saw how he stared at her eyes, and she took a step backwards, "Watts, I… I…," she swallowed, "… I'm sorry."

"For what?" Watts asked, canting his head in confusion.

Brownish black bangs hung into her face as Rinoa lowered her head, "For not being here."

But Watts only chuckled, "Don't worry about it, princess.Me and Zone know you're busy.What are you doing here?We know it's not safe for you to move about so much now when you're a sorc-," he paused, then cleared his voice, "Well, you know what I mean."

Rinoa blinked, "What?How do you know I'm a-"

"Don't say it too loud, princess.The people here are still a bit panicky about that, but I know you're not out to hurt anyone," his serious expression changed into a smug grin, "How I know?Gathering info is my speciality, have you forgotten, princess?"

It took her another few seconds to realize that he wasn't blaming her for anything at all, but when she did, Rinoa gave in to that smile and finally allowed herself to hug her friend, "No, no of course I haven't forgotten!I've missed you guys so much!"She pulled back and looked at him, "How have you been?All of you?"

Watts just kept smiling secretively, "Come on, I'll show you our new base," he said as he started to lead her out of the alley.

"New base?" she questioned as she carefully followed, actually enjoying the view of the town this time.This town she had fought so hard for.And citizens who recognized her as they passed by.Feeling more confident, she smiled and waved at them.Apparently, the word of who the new sorceress was had been kept away from most people.

"Yeah, you heard about the new resistance group, right?Forests Owls is no more, but me and the guys aren't ready to give up.The Galbadians are getting more pushy again, so we need to stand our ground against them.That's why these new people's arrival was so convenient!You won't believe how great they are at fighting,"Watts turned to her, then thoughtfully added, "Or maybe you will…"

Rinoa was about to ask what he meant by that, but Watts made a sudden gesture with his hand, "There it is."He pointed towards an old wooden shack by the end of the street, "Our new base."

A young, dark haired man was working on the building, apparently doing some repairs.The dull knocking of a hammer repeatedly meeting the head of a nail sung through the air, though it abruptly stopped as Watts called out, "Zone!Sir!Look who's here!"

Turning around in annoyance, Zone snapped, "What?"But then he fell silent as he saw the raven haired angel standing there next to Watts, a weak, but sweet smile on her rosy lips, "Princess?"

Immediately, he dropped the hammer and ran over to them, "Rinoa!Where have you been?How have you been?How did you get here?"Giving her no time to reply, he turned to Watts, "How did she get here?"

"I don't know, sir, I-" Watts started to explain, but Zone wasn't willing to listen.

"God, Rinoa, it's been… how long?A couple of months?Are you…," he stopped as he saw her eyes, but quickly caught himself in it, and frowned instead, "… Is… Is that punk taking care of you?Huh?"

Rinoa couldn't help but giggle, "I'm fine, Zone," she lied so well she almost believed it herself for a moment, "I just wanted to see how you guys were doing."

"Well, you came at the right time, then!" Zone replied excitedly, "We got a new leader for our resistance group.We didn't know if we should trust him at first, you know, because of all the bad things we've heard about him.But now he's an okay guy, now when he's free from-"

"ZONE!" a deep voice called from inside the shack, "I don't hear any hammering!This dump looks like hell.Get back to work!"

Zone blinked, wincing at the shout, "Y-yes sir!Getting right back to it!"He shot Rinoa an apologizing look, then darted back to the house, grabbed the hammer, and disappeared behind the building."Ow OUCH!My stomach!!"

Watts and Rinoa looked at each other, the girl's slim eyebrows lifted in inquiry.That voice couldn't be who she thought it was…

"Lazy bastards…," someone muttered as he walked outside, black boots followed by a tall, young boy – no, man – with a long, white trench coat with a red cross on the arm, and blonde, short hair combed back neatly, light blue eyes glinting in the sunlight.Their harsh expression did, however, fade as his gaze fell upon Rinoa, his lips parting as if choking on a word.

Rinoa herself didn't know what to do, didn't know what to feel.This had to be a dream.This had to be a mistake.But it dawned upon her that this indeed was reality as two more figures stepped out.One a tall man with tanned skin and dark hair and eyes, and the other a shorter woman with a long, blue shirt, short, silver hair and a black patch over her left eye.The red colour of the right eye watched the other female intently.Rinoa couldn't believe it.The new resistance group leader was, of all people,…

"Seifer…"

"SORCERESS," came Fujin's rough comment, and Raijin just shook his head.

"Like… whoa… ya know?"

Finally, Seifer managed to pull himself together after the momentary shock, and his well known smirk found its way to his face, "Hello, Rinoa."

Watts eyed both his former leader and the current one nervously, "Uh… Sir, princess… I mean Rinoa, I…"

Without even looking at him, Seifer did a dismissive wave with his hand, "Why don't you run along and gather some information, Watts?"

"But, sir… Rinoa-"

"_Now._"

"Yes, sir!" Watts saluted quickly, then ran off, leaving Rinoa alone with this shadow from her past.

There was a long period of silence in which Rinoa and Seifer just watched each other.Even Raijin had the wits to not interrupt that moment.Then Seifer put a hand on his hip, his stance relaxing somewhat, "Well, are you just going to stand there?"

Swallowing, Rinoa licked her dry lips, trying to find her voice again, "Why are you…?How… Why?" was all she managed to get out.

Seifer sighed, his eyes dropping to the ground, "Look, maybe we should go somewhere… I'd like to talk."When he looked back up and saw the reluctance in her eyes, he seemed to grow even more uncertain, "I won't bite, I promise."

Was this any smart move?Alone with Seifer?The last time she saw him, he had tried to… tried to kill her.If not literally, he had sacrificed her to Sorceress Adel, and that was, in its own way, worse than death.But still she had been wondering about him, wanting to know where he was, what he was doing.Now when she had seen he was alive and all, and that Zone and Watts were too, couldn't she go back home?But there was so much more she needed to know.Glancing at Seifer's posse, Rinoa was taken off guard by the way Fujin glared at her.Naturally, Fujin almost always glared at everyone, but this time it seemed cooler than usual.Mentally shrugging it off, she looked back to Seifer, "… All right."

Seifer looked over his shoulder to Raijin and Fujin, "Don't follow."It was an order.And the posse obeyed, as always.Everything was so normal about it.Was Seifer back to the one he had been before the entire incident with Ultimecia?

He guided Rinoa past the wooden shack and a few other, abandoned buildings, and then they headed down the road to the train stations.But there were no trains running today, and she wondered why Galbadia had stopped them.Perhaps because of Caraway's death…

Seifer stopped at the bridge that led from one side of the railroad tracks to the other, leaning against the fence, "I'm sure you're gonna stick your pretty, little nose into my business and ask what the hell I'm doing here any minute now, so I'm just going to tell you right away," he said.Rinoa remained silent, slender fingers curling around the rings on her necklace.

"I couldn't hang around in FH and do nothing with my life anymore, you know?After all that… stuff…," Seifer shrugged, seemingly indifferent as he stared out at the dusty tracks, "I always gotta be doing something big.Seeing as I'm never gonna get into SeeD, liberating this measly little town is as good as anything."

It was just too simple.Seifer didn't do things like this.Seifer was selfish, Seifer only fought for his own goals and his own well being… right?Rinoa turned to him.The Sorceress' Knight, Ultimecia's Knight, the man who she had once been in love with, who had helped her, the man who had hurt her, and betrayed her so deeply.But she was not frightened of him anymore like she had been in Lunatic Pandora.She had no reason to fear him, and all she felt was a growing rage inside of her.Her only reply was an icy stare, and the glowing colour of her eyes almost made Seifer shudder.So much alike Edea's eyes… no, Ultimecia's eyes…

"Rinoa," he began, the cocky, arrogant Seifer fading away to nothingness.There was a faint plea for forgiveness in his own eyes, "I guess… I'm just… trying to say that I'm sorry."

His careful apology was met with a rough slap to his face, and he turned his head to the side with the force of the blow.

Rubbing his cheek with a hand, Seifer frowned, "Gee, thanks.That wasn't really the reply I expected."

"Sorry!?" Rinoa shrieked, then her voice lowered to a harsh whisper, "_Sorry?_Why should I believe you, Seifer?You hurt me so much!Am I expected to forget all that?Is that why you're doing this?So I'll forgive you?"She sounded offended now, "You don't even care about this place.All you care about is your own fame.The hero status you get for doing this."

"I made _a mistake!_" Seifer countered, his own voice rising, "Okay?I admit it!I, Seifer Almasy, made a goddamn huge mistake!But hell, I'm not gonna go jump off a bridge and end my pathetic life right here and now, even if that's what half the world wishes I'd do."

Rinoa was trembling, hugging herself as she wrapped her arms over her chest."You tried to kill the world."

The blonde ex-SeeD cadet blinked, "I…"Yes, he knew what he had done."Look.I didn't want to do… what I did… to you, I… didn't want the world to…"

"You only cared about yourself."

And he knew that was true, too.Looking at him then, Rinoa remembered why she had felt something for him.Behind those eyes, there was courage, arrogance… but beyond that, there was a boy that still didn't know what to do; a lost, little boy.It startled her to see this, startled her to see that Squall's rival and opposite was a mirror of himself, had the same traits.But like all pretty pictures in a mirror, Seifer was not the real thing, just a reflection lacking what made her love Squall so much.

Seifer had felt something for her, too, once.But he had given it up for his dreams.The Sorceress' Knight.Now those dreams were shattered, and Rinoa was out of his reach.

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

It took a lot to make Seifer Almasy openly and sincerely tell someone he was sorry.

"Sir!Sir!Rinoa!" Watts came running towards them, and both Seifer and Rinoa turned to him."News, sir!New info!"

There was a horrified look on Watts' face.He had obviously been running very fast, as he had to stop to catch his breath before being able to speak again.

"What is it?"Seifer asked.

"Galbadia!"Watts gasped, "Huge army.They're going to attack Timber, and there's nothing we can do about it.Wipe us out, sir!"

Rinoa's eyes went wide, "Oh no…"

"Damn…," Seifer whipped out his gunblade and swept it through the air, "Well, we'll see about that, dirty Galbadians!You and Zone warn everybody.I gotta find Fujin and Raijin."Watts nodded and left as quickly as he had come, and Seifer was about to follow, but he stopped to look at Rinoa, "Where's your precious Leonhart?"

"… He's not here."

Seifer's eyes softened, "… Come with me," he offered.Hesitant, but wanting to help, Rinoa ran after him.

By the town square, people were already starting to panic, running about in all directions and trying to either get ready for the battle, or hide.A thin woman with long, pale white hair stopped Rinoa as she and Seifer moved past, her blue eyes wild and desperate.Rinoa tried her hardest to not lock gazes with her, in fear of the other female seeing her own eye colour.

"Please!Have you seen my child?Have you seen my little girl?!"When Rinoa shook her head, the woman immediately continued down the street, screaming out her daughter's name, "Yvivina!Yvivina, where are you?!"

Rinoa stared after her, her blue cape flapping gently in the wind.Something felt wrong.Something felt so very, very wrong.And she couldn't tell what it was, it was just there.

Chapter XIV:

"Damn, Squall!!"Zell cried while he was thrown about in the back of the car yet again, as the young boy who was driving made another, sudden turn, "Are you trying to get us killed?!Slow down!"

Squall, however, simply ignored him.He knew he was driving recklessly, but frankly, he did not care.His mind was only set on reaching Timber in time, and nothing else mattered.Quistis glanced at Zell, appearing calm even in this situation, and not complaining about the way her former student was driving, "Perhaps you would feel more safe if you had put on your seatbelt," she commented coolly to the blonde.Zell frowned at her, but did as she said.

Selphie, Irvine and Nida, the latter of them being the one driving, were following in another car, though they were lagging a little behind.Apparently Nida wasn't willing to risk his and the two other SeeDs' lives when they all knew, deep down inside, that there probably wasn't much they could do.

Squall's car came to an abrupt halt as he followed the road over another hilltop, and the town of Timber came within view.If Zell hadn't fastened his seatbelt, he would have gone flying out the front window.The martial artist's eyes widened as all three of them felt the force of Squall suddenly pushing down the breaks, "Squall, what the hell?!"

The young SeeD commander stepped out of the car and ran a few steps down the hill, staring at the scene unfolding below with expressionless, narrowed eyes.Nida's car pulled up behind the other one soon after, and Quistis got out to move over to Squall, the others soon following.No one needed say a word.

The army was huge, and approaching Timber in a steady pace, already sure of their victory.Hundreds of soldiers armed with guns and swords, ready to walk all over the little town and even it with the ground.But the worst threat was the large machine they had with them.It looked like some sort of a military truck, painted in green and with thick, heavy wheels, but on the top was what looked like a rocket launcher.Or something along those lines.Whatever was to come out of it was not meant to just 'keep the town under control'.

"… they're gonna bomb it?!"Selphie cried out.

Quistis slowly shook her head, "We don't stand a chance…"There was an eerie silence on the top of the hill as the six youths stood there watching the first soldiers start to attack Timber, where the bravest of the citizens were trying to defend themselves with their own, limited weaponry.

And then Squall started to run down the hill.

"What…?"

"Squall!"

"Are you crazy??"

"Come back!"

Quistis was the one to reach him first, bolting down to him and grabbing his arm, "Squall, you can't go in there!It's suicide!"

But he roughly pulled his arm free, his determined gaze meeting the instructor's ice blue eyes, "I have to find Rinoa."

Oddly enough, Quistis didn't try to stop him again as he continued down the hill.Rinoa.He was doing it for Rinoa.And nothing could stop him then.Helplessly, she looked back at the others, seeing their questioning and worried expressions.

"So do we go after him?" Irvine asked.

Quistis sighed, taking on the role as second in command, "No…We stay here," she turned to watch Squall's figure as it moved further and further away, avoiding her companions' shocked looks and replies to her outrageous order.Squall was heading into certain death, and they weren't going to help him?"There is nothing we can do now," she added, barely whispering.

_(Squall… Do you know for certain she is there?)_

_ _

_…No._

_ _

_(Then why are you doing this?)_

_ _

_I couldn't live with myself if she was there and I didn't try to help her._

_ _

_(So you risk your life for her again, without even knowing she needs your help?I'm impressed.)_

_ _

_I have changed, haven't I?_

_ _

_(No… Rinoa only brought out what was already there.)_

__

__

__

Everywhere around her, people were fighting.Fighting for their homes and families, fighting for their own lives.And the Galbadian soldiers… what were they fighting for?Their next month's pay?They appeared to be mere puppets in the hands of whoever was president at all times, in this case Temeka.Rinoa didn't know what to do in the midst of this.She stood there, watching, feeling she should participate yet didn't.Couldn't let them all know she was a sorceress, and she didn't bring any other weapon with her.

"Cowards!Get back here and fight like men!"Seifer's voice boomed through the noise of battle, and Rinoa turned to see the blonde wave his gunblade about like a madman as three soldiers fled from him."God damn… where are those idiots when you need them," he muttered, before turning to her, "Wait."With that short command, he ran off after the soldiers he had been fighting, and Rinoa was left all alone.

No one seemed to pay much attention to her as she walked through those dusty streets of Timber, looking on the battles around her.It was as if she was watching a movie – the blood, the pain, it hurt to see it, but at the same time it didn't concern her as it once had.And there was that feeling of… wrong that wouldn't go away.Something was wrong with this fight.

The Timber citizens… they were winning.The big army that was said to be big enough to crush the town, it wasn't there.Only a very few soldiers were inside the city itself, and that wasn't like Galbadia.They always fought full force.

There was… something familiar by the end of the street.Someone who shouldn't be there.Black leather and gunblade with an engraved lion weren't to be mistaken, though, and Rinoa stopped to stare, blinking in mild disbelief as he fought off two soldiers before continuing on his way, obviously searching for something, and uncaring about the few injuries he already had gotten.

_Squall… you came._

_ _

But when she wanted to run to him, she couldn't.That feeling of something being terribly amiss grew unbearable with a sudden force, and still, she couldn't tell exactly what caused it.It wasn't the war visibly raging around her, it was something else, something she couldn't see, something…A sudden flash of a scene she didn't want to imagine appeared in her mind, and Rinoa shrieked loudly, though the scream drowned in gunfire._Protect Squall…_Without knowing what she was doing, the sorceress folded her arms over her chest, lowered her head, and the next few seconds were erased from her memory.

_Protect him._

"Quistis, we can't let him go in there alone!"Selphie was frustrated, and she wasn't alone.Zell was jumping up and down, punching the air, and Irvine nearly had to hold him back to keep him from running down into the town.

Nida watched them all with an expression that would be amused, hadn't it been for the seriousness of the situation, "He already is in there.And I have to agree with Instructor Trepe – there isn't anything we can do, anyway."

Zell turned and placed his hands on his hips with a huff, "We could help him!C'mon, we've never let those pesky Galbadians stop us before!"

Nodding, Irvine readied his shotgun for battle, "They're right, Quisty, we can't just stand here."

Bewildered, Quistis didn't know what to do.There was nothing she wanted more than to aid Squall, but as she was currently in command now when he wasn't there, she couldn't make the decision of risking five SeeDs' lives for no use.She was torn between her personal love for those who she had grown up with and cared about, and what she knew was the logical thing to do as a leader._Maybe they were right, maybe I do lack leadership skills…_Squall had learned to act on feelings rather than logic all the time, so why couldn't she?She should know the answer, she shouldn't be so confused."If we go down there, we might be killed," she said, voice trembling slightly, "We can't afford that risk."

Selphie shook her head, "But he's our _friend_!Doesn't that mean anything?"

A loud, thundering sound kept the argument from going any further, and they all turned in time to see the bomb hit Timber with a deafening explosion.Clouds of dust and smoke rose and the town was left in flames.People - Galbadian soldiers as well as Timberians – were running out of the burning masses like frightened herds of chocobos, and their shouts were heard even on top of the hill where the SeeDs were standing.Quistis watched it all blankly, the reddish tongues of fire reflecting in her eyes.The others all just stared, gaping.

"Let's go," the blonde girl whispered, hand on her whip as they headed down the hill.

The first thing he knew was darkness, then a sharp pain in his side as he tried to move.His eyes were sticky with dust and hurt as he tried to open them, squinting against the red fire and the sight of ruined buildings and dead or wounded bodies scattered in the streets.With difficulty, he got to his feet, surprised to find himself more or less fully intact.But he was weak, and when trying to get contact with Shiva inside his mind, he couldn't.Looking around, he was even more surprised when realizing everyone within a fair distance of himself had been killed by the remains of a destroyed building coming crashing down on them.Why hadn't he been hit by it?

Stumbling unsteadily down the street, Squall glanced at the bodies as he passed by.Only for a second did he stop as he saw a thin woman with long, silvery white hair lying on the ground, face down, and then he continued.Find Rinoa, that was all he cared about.Find Rinoa, so many victims, but as long as he found her alive… the world could end around them, and he wouldn't care, as long as he found Rinoa and she was okay…

The flames cast a sickly, orange red light across the entire sky, and all the dust didn't make things any better.He coughed, finding it more difficult to walk as he came closer to the town square, that was now almost impossible to recognize from the damage done to it.

A lone body was by one of the streets branching out from the square, the blue cape ripped and pale skin covered in soot and bruises, the dark hair covering the face.His own pain and injuries forgotten, the boy broke into a half-run to get to it more quickly, and he immediately dropped to his knees by its side.Brushing away black locks to be able to see her face, he then took her into his arms, stiffening as he felt something moist and warm on his hands.The red fluid trickled down into a growing pool beneath her battered form.Voice meek as he spoke, threatening to break, he shook her gently, "Rinoa… Rinoa, wake…"

Her eyes blinked open.They were dull now, not glowing anymore, and the golden colour seemed to fade, leaving her irises coffee brown around the edges as they used to be, "Squall…"She could barely move, and winced in pain when she tried to."You're here…"

"Of course I'm here," Squall attempted to see how severe her wounds were, but had a hard time examining them without hurting her, and couldn't do much because of the state he was in himself.He could feel her weaken in his arms, "I promised we'd always be together, remember?Just stay with me… they'll get us back to Garden soon."

Rinoa's muscles tensed, then she relaxed, her body becoming more and more limp, "Tired… tired… so tired…"

"Rinoa?"He swallowed, "Rinoa, don't.Stay with me, stay awake."A cold sensation ran down his spine as he watched her eyes close and her breath becoming slower and more unsteady.Unable to hold back his fear and desperation, he shook her again, a little more forcefully this time, "Rinoa!Rinoa, come on, speak to me!Rinoa!_Rinoa!!_"

So much blood.Hadn't it been for the fact she was a sorceress, she should have been dead long ago, and Squall knew this yet he denied himself to realize it.

_Rinoa, you can't.You can't leave me here._

_ _

"Please, Rinoa…Wake up, please.Don't die."Salty droplets of water washed away dust from his cheeks in fine lines, but he didn't even notice.Everything he lived for was fading before his very eyes, her life flowing out through wounds that couldn't be healed, her body too weak to fight anymore.He had failed."Please…"

A small figure walked out of the dust clouds nearby, approaching the two lovers with short steps.Cold eyes watched them from a thin face surrounded by ghostly pale hair.The girl couldn't be more than four or five years old, but her clothes were ragged and her haunted expression implied she had witnessed things no child should see.Squall looked at her, his breath coming in short, nervous gasps, and he couldn't look away.

Not before Rinoa stirred again, and her eyes fluttered open, having completely returned to their original brown hue.Gingerly, Squall lowered her a little to the ground, and as she reached up with a silky soft hand, he met it with one of his own that was covered in blood.The angel was all the time getting weaker, but there was a strange sense of peace in her gaze as she guided his hand down to her necklace, pressing it against her skin and wrapping his fingers around the two rings that rested there, then held her hand over his.He couldn't do anything, couldn't do anything but watch as she smiled at him; a warm, loving smile, and even when her eyes started to close again, she whispered, "You'll be fine…"

A burst of white and purple light knocked him backwards with the pure energy of the elements, and it cloaked the entire area, shining so brightly Squall couldn't see a thing, couldn't hear a thing.

Then there was nothing.

Rinoa's body did not move.It seemed even more pale, even more battered, even more lifeless than it had been seconds before.Squall quickly crawled over to her again, but when he lifted her this time, there was no response, only dead weight in his arms.

_No… No.Oh God, no…_

_ _

The girl stood there, watching him as she had before, but she no longer looked like a sickly street child.Instead she shone with a newfound power, and her eyes were nothing but arrogant as she turned and walked away.

And there was darkness.

Chapter XV:

_I've come this far because I've… fallen for you.… …Rinoa.Rinoa._

_ _

Pale, bright light met him when he finally opened his eyes.For the first couple of seconds, he almost thought he had died, but the pounding headache that suddenly kicked in convinced him otherwise.Blinking several times, he tried to push his arms against the bed so he could sit up.

"Doctor… Doctor, I think he's waking up," a soft female voice said.Even in his disorientated state, he recognized it.Edea.

"Is he all right?" someone else whispered.The room was quiet, too quiet, though he could hear another female try to choke back a sob.Before he knew it, he found himself looking into the familiar face of Dr. Kadowaki as she gently pushed him back down.

"Please, you need to lay still, Squall."

Eventually able to focus properly, the fallen commander turned his head to look around, not surprised to see he was in the Garden infirmary.What surprised him, though, was the amount of people standing around him.Edea and Cid close to his bed, the headmaster holding his wife's hand, both with extremely worried expressions on their faces.Zell and Jadina, the former not punching the air in boredom for once, and instead looking ahead of him in a severe way that seemed out of place for him, while his girlfriend just clung to his arm.Irvine and Selphie, the cowboy trying to comfort the sunny girl who tried hard not to cry, burying her red-eyed face against his shoulder.Selphie, who was always so cheerful.Nida was somewhere in the background, as were Xu, and Quistis stood next to the doctor, forcing herself to appear cool and calm.But someone was missing, someone…

Memories washed back into his mind.

_No… no, can't be true…_

_ _

"Rinoa!!" Squall suddenly exclaimed, sitting up again very abruptly, tone desperate, "Rinoa, where's Rinoa?!Tell me!!"

"Please!"Kadowaki forced him back down again, struggling to keep him there, "You have a few broken ribs, several burns and bruises.Nothing a cure spell or two and some sleep will fix, but you need to _rest_.So please… lay still."

Staring up at the doctor, it was as if Squall hadn't even heard what she said.He remained silent for a short while, then asked again, quietly this time, "Where's Rinoa…?"

Kadowaki exchanged a look with both Quistis and Edea.Quistis lightly shook her head, thus Edea stepped forward, carefully running a hand over Squall's forehead, "Squall… she didn't make it."

He watched her, unblinking, voice quavering, "What do you mean?"

Edea closed her eyes momentarily.She knew how much Rinoa had meant to him, she knew how much he'd been hurt through his life, she knew how the young sorceress had affected him… it pained her to be the one having to say what she had to say next, "Rinoa died in Timber, Squall.Her sorceress powers should have protected her, but… apparently she didn't know how to use them, or she used them for something else…"

Though it hit him like a rock, he didn't even blink.Emptiness in his expression, emptiness inside of him.He couldn't even completely comprehend the fact he now was facing, because despite all the times Rinoa had been in danger, he had always managed to save her.Until now.

_Rinoa… she's gone…?Rinoa…_

_ _

The others watched him, obviously expecting him to do something, awaiting his reaction.They were upset, too, as all of them had cared for Rinoa, but never in the way Squall had.Still, there was nothing on the young SeeD's face, nothing that indicated sadness, nothing but a slowly growing frown.

"Squall…," Quistis began, gently putting a hand on his shoulder, "Squall, we're so sorry…"

_Sorry?You're sorry?What difference is that going to make?!_

_ _

"Whatever," he replied coldly.

"Oh man…," Zell uttered."Here we go again…"

Hurt, Quistis backed away, not knowing what else to do.Before her very eyes, Squall the human, who he had developed into during the past few months, returned to the Squall she used to know, the Squall who never really was… alive.

"I hear brave Commander Leonhart is awake."A new voice, one Squall knew all too well, floated through the room.Glancing up, his suspicions were confirmed when the tall, blonde, young man entered, his scar mirroring his own.Though he looked pretty battered, there was still that arrogant smirk on his face, only it wasn't quite as nasty as Squall remembered it.

"What's _he_ doing here?"Squall growled, attempting to straighten up only to be pushed back down yet again by the doctor.

Quistis sighed, "We found him in the ruins of Timber… he was one of the few survivors inside the city itself."

_Seifer was in Timber?_

_ _

"Squall,"Cid began, "The sorceress war is over, and we couldn't leave Seifer there to die.I hope you understand."Only receiving a blank look from the boy, the headmaster narrowed his eyes in thought before continuing, "I think you should take a break, Squall… Galbadia is a total chaos, but considering the recent events, we should let you-"

"No,"Squall interrupted, "No, I want to keep working."

The small crowd inside the infirmary looked at each other.Seifer's smirk grew a tad wider and he leaned back against the wall, muttering something under his breath that made Zell glare at him.

Cid was a bit perplexed, "Well, if that's what you want… But please remember, you're not a machine, Squall."

"Whatever.Could you all please leave now?I'd like to be alone."

His friends seemed reluctant, but Kadowaki argued that he needed his rest and ushered them all out of the room.Lonely again, Squall closed his eyes hard and breathed in deeply.Physical pain went unnoticed as he tried to handle the emotions welling up in him, biting his lip so hard it almost broke.Then he pushed it all back, burying everything so deep inside him that he hoped it would never surface again.But an old scar was already ripped open again, bleeding twice as badly as it had before.

_(You're awake.)_

_ _

_Shiva._

_ _

_(… I apologize.)_

_ _

_Where the hell were you?!Why didn't you help?!_

_ _

_(I couldn't.You were too weak, there was nothing I could do.)_

_ _

_……_

_ _

_(Please don't do this to yourself.Please don't put those walls back up.)_

_ _

_I trusted her to always be there, I… _He trailed off.He couldn't go there, couldn't think about it.Just keep it back, keep it away.

_(Squall, you can't-)_

_ _

_Leave me alone, Shiva.You're a Guardian Force, not my physiologist._

_ _

_(Squ-)_

_ _

But he cut her off his mind, and when he closed his eyes this time, Squall was alone.

Completely alone.


	6. Chapters 16 - 18

Chapter XVI:

It was deathly silent in the Quad that evening after Rinoa's funeral.Most of the students and the crew of Garden had been gathered there earlier – they had all known of Rinoa, and respected her as their commander's love, not to mention as a sorceress – but they had all departed one by one, leaving only a few of her closest friends now when it was closing up to midnight.Squall had disappeared immediately after the ceremony that afternoon, not accepting any sort of condolences, and no one had seen him since.

Selphie quietly observed the ones who were left around her from where she was sitting on the edge of the Quad's scene, idly letting her legs dangle.Dressing in black was just not her style, and so she was relieved she could wear her SeeD uniform instead, but even she was unable to focus much on such shallow things on a day like this.Rinoa, the girl whom she had considered her best friend, was dead.Gone.It was hard to believe; she was gone just like many of her friends from Trabia Garden were after the missile attack, gone like the parents Selphie had never known.And the way Squall behaved was just unnerving.He avoided his friends like the plague, but still firmly insisted that he would keep his work both as commander and instructor whenever Cid told him it would be wise to take it easy for a while.The headmaster had said he was a human, and not a machine, but Selphie wasn't so sure anymore.And Seifer… where had he come from?Why was he in Timber?Selphie didn't know much about the arrogant boy except that he was mean and had sided with the enemy during the war against Ultimecia and Galbadia.It surprised her that Cid let him stay even after he had healed, but she didn't worry too much about it; she had other things on her mind.

Jadina and Zell were seated under that tree where they liked to sit, holding hands and comforting each other without saying anything.Quistis was speaking with Nida and Xu, although she looked like she was trying to find an escape from the conversation so she could leave.Quistis and Rinoa… they had never been very close, and Selphie had a small suspicion as to why, but she didn't dare say it out loud.The thought made her frown and almost feel a mild dislike for the blonde instructor, and she quickly diverted her attention elsewhere.Cid and Edea were also together on one of the Quad's benches, talking quietly.It was so sweet to see them like that, husband and wife finally reunited, even if it wasn't a happy chat.It was so sad to think Squall and Rinoa would never experience that, growing old together, and… All of it led her to think about Irvine, and the sunny girl sighed at the memory.She had been crying on his shoulder when Rinoa died, and then felt ashamed about it afterwards.She wanted so badly to stay angry at the flirtatious cowboy for a while longer, but the grudge against him had faded to plain concern now.What if he didn't forgive her for being so upset with him?What if they never got together, or were separated before they got the chance?

"Hey Sefie," said a calm voice beside her.Selphie blinked and turned her gaze to let it fall upon the approaching cowboy, who was dressed in SeeD uniform as well and not wearing his hat for once, though his long, red hair was still stuck in that ponytail in his neck.The rare combination made him even more handsome, in her opinion.He lifted himself onto the stage next to her, offering a faint, saddened smile, "How you feelin'?"

The girl shook her head a little at his question, "Not so good."

Irvine nodded in understanding, "Yeah, even if Rinoa scratched me up badly in that truck when I was tryin' to save her from the desert prison…," he grinned half-heartedly, but it faded quickly, "… I cared about her.We all did."

"Irvy…," Selphie whispered softly, looking down at the floor with an almost shy expression, which was even more unusual to find in her than depression, "Do you still care about me?"

Surprised, Irvine watched her for a couple of seconds, then narrowed his eyes, "Of course I do."_Didn't she hear anything of what I told her on that beach?_Features softening again, he reached forward with a hand to place a stray lock of her chestnut hair behind her ear where it belonged, "I thought you knew…"

Without being able to hold herself back, Selphie leaned in against him, and he accepted, carefully pulling her closer but not being too pushy."I'm sorry, Irvy.We shouldn't have argued like that.I'm sorry I was angry for so long…"

Perhaps it was the whole fuss around Rinoa's death and the funeral that made her so meek, but Irvine decided not to ask.She was willing to forgive, she even apologized herself, and he wasn't about to let the chance slip by.Selphie made him want to be faithful, Selphie had something his countless other girls didn't have.Be it her innocence, her friendly attitude, her cheerfulness… it didn't matter.Being kissed by Nikki had meant nothing to him; and since he met his sunny girl again he hadn't really wanted to be with anyone else.What was she doing to him?She was going to tie him down now, he realized that, but for some reason… he didn't mind."I'm sorry, too.But it's no big deal, as long as we're together, right?"

Blinking her emerald eyes, Selphie looked up at him.She needed Irvine, needed him to be there now when their group had been reduced from six to five and lost such a valuable member, needed someone to hold her."You mean together, right?For real?Irvy, I don't wanna share you with any other girls… You have to promise me that."

"Sefie," Irvine breathed against her hair, undeniably relieved.Even if he hadn't actually done anything wrong that day, he felt her anger was somewhat justified because of all the flirting he had done in the past.Smiling just barely, he rested his against hers as she leant it on his shoulder, "For you, I'll promise anything."

"I can't believe this is happening,"Edea spoke softly as she looked about at her children,"She was so young, so innocent…I don't understand what went wrong."

Cid sighed, "Well, you saw the girl, Edea.She was disturbed by her father's death and the powers she had.Maybe she just couldn't handle it, and that's why she left.It was an honest accident."

The former sorceress shook her head idly, pulling her dark ash coloured hair away from her face with a hand, "Had she followed her instincts like sorceresses are supposed to do, she would have survived.I think… she used her magic to save Squall instead, Cid.It's the most logical explanation as to why he came out of it all right as well."

The aging headmaster nodded, "Although I would hardly describe him as 'all right'…"

"Why are you letting him work?"Edea looked up at him with a frown, "He should not be working so soon after what happened."

"Well, what else can I do?"Cid asked, "You know how stubborn he is."

Yes, she knew what Squall was like, and as his former Matron, Edea saw that same little boy who had lost his Sis in him now.Only the boy was bigger and more bitter this time.The shell he had built up in his adolescence came into work and he locked in all emotions, and blocked out everything and everyone else.Edea wondered how long he could survive on doing that.There was nothing more to say about it, though, so she changed the subject, "I wonder what happened to Rinoa's powers…"

"I would assume someone within the city inherited them.She needed to pass them on before dying."

"I know that, dear," Edea replied, musing to herself, "Who though?We couldn't find anyone else alive anywhere near the town square, and Squall claims he doesn't remember seeing anything.And Seifer…ah, he was probably too far away from the scene."She paused, putting a finger to her lip, "Cid… what are we going to do about him?About Seifer?"

At that question, Cid perked up a bit, before his expression was set in a deep frown, "The most sane thing to do is to ask him to leave, and keep him abandoned from the Garden.After everything he did…"

"But," Edea interrupted, "If you're going to look at it that way, consider all the damage I did as well.Granted, I was not in control of my own actions, but in a way, neither was Seifer.Ultimecia played on his emotions and dreams, only to crush them next.I know he really isn't like that, Cid, deep down inside… he isn't."

"Edea, my sweet," Cid turned around to take her hands in his, "I know, he's one of ours, it hurt me too.But please remember, he was not possessed.He was in control of himself, made his own choices, turned against us and attempted to kill those he grew up with to achieve his own goals.How could we ever trust him after that?"

"But he has nothing now, Cid!"Edea pulled away, "Nothing at all.His friends… they're gone too.Don't you think he has paid for his crimes already?There's nothing he can to do us here, among so many SeeDs and without anyone else to back him up.There's no risk to it.If he wants to stay, can't we let him?"

"What are you saying, Edea?That we make him a SeeD?That's ridiculous."

"I'm just saying… give him a second chance."

Cid Kramer watched his wife for a long while.He knew how much she loved all their children from the orphanage, and he did too, but Garden's safety and discipline had to be put first.Still, for all the havoc Seifer had caused, was there a possibility the old Seifer was somewhere within him?The one he had been before he met the sorceress?Or better yet, a wiser Seifer?"Where is he now?"

Smiling a little as she saw her husband give in, Edea then quickly hid the smug expression again, "I don't know.He left right after Squall did earlier today, and didn't say where he was going."

_If we're lucky, he already left Garden again for good._Cid nodded, and looked to the others again, seeing Irvine and Selphie together by the stage, while Quistis was on her way out, having escaped Xu and Nida.

"What about Zolqer Temeka?"Edea questioned softly, her gaze following his to the departing Quistis.

Cid glanced at her, "He spreads fear.It's going to work for a while, like it did with Vinzer Deling, but not forever.Eventually the hate will grow stronger than the fear.And as long as Adar Nalhan is alive, we are relatively safe.He could still succeed in proving Temeka being guilty of the murder of Caraway."

"And what do _we_ do now?"

"All we _can_ do right now…," Cid said slowly, "… is to wait."

Chapter XVII:

It had been two weeks.It felt like forever and yet like just a minute ago at the same time.And it was way too obvious, the way his heart was bleeding through fresh wounds, but still he couldn't fully comprehend the awful truth.Wouldn't allow himself to taste the emotion, and every bitter tear was swallowed, every painful feeling was forced away to be forgotten.

But God, it still hurt so much.

He should have asked himself how he could even live after this, how he could go on, what reason he had for going on.He should be devastated, he should have been unable to function, unable to work.But Squall had been through this before, he had lost everything once before, lost the only one he loved.Now it had happened again.And he should have known it would, he should have known it and never let her into his soul, never opened up, never lowered his shields.He should have concentrated on his work, his mission, the job he was doing in Garden.As he was doing now.

Had Shiva been there, she would have asked all the questions for him, and pressured him into answering.But Shiva wasn't there.He couldn't bear having her cool, persistent voice inside his brain, couldn't handle her insight in his feelings and thoughts.The Ice GF knew him all too well, and he needed someone who didn't care.Or so he'd like to think.And Bahamut really had no interest whatsoever in Squall's personal business.He made his appearance when summoned, and only then, and slept in the back of his mind the rest of the time, grumpy whenever he was disturbed.Just like Squall himself.No emotion shown, no approach made to his friends.They said they were feeling as bad as him, but how could they know?How could they ever possibly know what he felt?

Work.Work and forget, it will go away.Build up the walls and hide inside their safety, never let them reach you again, that was the only way he could survive.He had trusted, he had loved, and had ended up being crushed twice as badly as the first time.And he couldn't deal with it again.So why try to deal?

"Instructor Leonhart?"The voice almost made him jump, and his cold smoky blue eyes fell upon the student who had addressed him.

"Instructor…,"the girl repeated, her expression softening into a shy, mildly embarrassed one as she saw his frown.She was about 14 years of age, like most of the other students in his combat class, but even if he was only a few years older himself they all respected him as much as they respected the headmaster.Which, in its own way, disgusted him.Sure, he was commander, sure, he was their instructor, but… he had failed at the one thing that really mattered to him.He deserved no respect, he just wanted the world to go away and leave him alone."… are we ready to start yet?" the female cadet eventually asked.

Just then he realized they had already arrived in the correct area of the Training Centre, and all ten students were waiting for him to start the lesson.Or at the very least, say something, and not just stand there staring at nothing in particular._Oh great…Now I'm making a complete fool out of myself.What made Cid think I was fit for this?_

_ _

"Right," Squall cleared his voice, then frowned again, trying to look like he had at least a bit of authority.It worked perfectly well on the students, but he didn't know that."We're going to work on defence today, which is very important when you use a sword or blade.Half of the art of becoming good at using this weapon is learning how to effectively block the attacks of your opponent…" And he trailed off._But what good is it if you can't defend others than yourself?Can't stop bombs from falling, can't stop… No, it's only yourself that matters.This is SeeD, people die, they all know that._

_ _

The students stood still, unsure when Squall didn't say anything else.He was always quiet, but never like this, and of course they all knew about what had happened to Rinoa.Rumours about what had happened to the two of them in Timber swirled through Garden every day, and now a low murmur went through the crowd of cadets, before one of the males – a boy of 15 with dark hair and a firmly built body - spoke up, "Instructor, if… We don't want to continue the lesson if you are not… feeling up to it.Sir."

Not unexpectedly, Squall's frown only grew harsher, and his hand hovered near the handle of his gunblade as he shook his head, "Cadet Kaleh.I'd like you to assist me in a demonstration."

Adam Kaleh blinked and exchanged a glance with two of the other students, then looked back at his instructor before pulling out his own sword, not a gunblade, but one of a similar type to the ones the Galbadian soldiers used, "Yes, sir."

Squall moved a few steps backwards, nodding for the cadet to follow him.The others circled around to watch as the two of them got into position on a slightly open spot of the Training Centre, where the many trees hadn't been able to grow.Squall narrowed his eyes in concentration, thinking through what moves he was going to teach them, and struggling to keep his mind straight.

_Don't think about anything else, keep focusing…_

_ _

The younger boy was clearly nervous – Squall had the reputation of being one of the best fighters in Garden, along with the rest of the original 'sorceress team', and none of the students had actually fought him like this before.But Kaleh told himself it was just a demonstration; and trusted his instructor to be careful.

"The first thing you have to remember…," Squall said, keeping his eyes on the cadet's sword, "…is to always be prepared!"Without warning, he lunged forward, the blade of his weapon meeting Kaleh's with a sharp sound.The boy looked surprised, but kept his face straight in front of his friends, and tried his very best to block Squall's repeated attacks.Apparently Squall wasn't giving everything he had, but his movements were swift and made with ease, while the cadet all the time had to work harder to keep up.But after a while, it seemed like the instructor was giving in to the student, as the swings of his gunblade became less frequent and gave open room for Kaleh to get a few blows in, all which were stopped by Squall's own weapon.

"When keeping up with the opponent's attacks for a long time, you will eventually tire him out, and that's when you have your chance," Squall said while bringing up the blade again to block another blow."But as I said earlier…,"for a second, he paused, letting his defences down.Kaleh looked confused, but took the opportunity to attack another time, "… always be prepared…"Without much effort, Squall swept up his blade, preventing the other's sword to get anywhere near him, "Because just as you think you're safe and won't be attacked again…," shoving his weapon forward forcefully, Squall knocked Kaleh backwards so he lost his footing and fell to the ground.And before he could even think about getting back up, the poor student found himself staring up at the older boy's gunblade as it came down, dangerously close to his body – but the sharp metal connected with the solid earth instead, right next to Kaleh's chest, right next to his heart.The other students watched with both awe and horror as Squall stood over the fallen cadet, panting lightly, his eyes holding a predatory look they had never seen in him before.

"… you're stabbed right where it hurts the most," Squall finished quietly, his voice almost a whispering hiss.

And then he blinked a couple of times before stepping back, allowing cadet Kaleh – who was frightened out of mind – to stand up.The expression in the young commander's eyes calmed considerably, and he slowly returned to reality.No one said anything, no one dared to.

"Squall!" he heard a feminine voice call out behind him, and his head snapped sharply to the side so he could look over his shoulder.Quistis stood there among the jungle plants, looking both shocked, horrified and confused all at the same time.She had seen it all, or at least that last scene."What are you _doing_?"

Realization caught up with him, then.Had he just…?If his aim had been just a little wrong, just an inch… Putting away his gunblade, Squall simply frowned in Quistis' direction, then turned back to his students, "Class dismissed."As they scattered, he could hear them start talking rather loudly about what had just occurred, but he didn't care.When he heard quick footsteps behind him, he didn't have to look to know the blonde SeeD was following him, and sped up his own pace into a light run.Couldn't talk with her.Couldn't face her.Let her tell Cid that he was abusing the students if she wanted, but no questions, please.No questions; he had no answers.

"Squall!Squall, wait!"Quistis chased Squall right out of the Training Centre and through half the Garden, but it was no use.He quickly escaped into the dormitory area and disappeared into his own room.

"Squall…" With a defeated sigh, the female instructor stopped outside her friend's dorm room, staring the door hopelessly.Hopeless, it was hopeless.That Squall was not the Squall she knew, he was not the Squall who had been around her all her life, nor the Squall he had been after he met Rinoa.This Squall… he was someone she didn't know, and someone he wasn't supposed to be, someone he didn't want to be.She wanted so badly to help.She didn't know how to, or if it even could be done, if he was beyond repair… but she wanted to help…

… because she cared.

As she walked away, a pair of aqua eyes rested upon her departing form, watching her delicate curves move.He had never liked Quistis, but even he had to admit she wasn't too bad to look at.A light smirk crept onto Seifer's lips as he leaned back against the wall, folding his arms.His gaze moved to Squall's door for a few seconds, before he pushed away and idly walked down the hall.

Chapter XVIII:

Crickets were chirping outside his window.The sun had set hours ago on the Balamb continent, and it was way past curfew.Everyone was sleeping.Including the GF dragon junctioned to him.And it was quiet.

Except for the faint rattling sound of him playing with the thick chain of his medallion as he was lying on his bed.His _single_ bed – the other one had been taken out.No need for room for two anymore.He couldn't sleep, just couldn't manage to fall asleep, and if he had, the nightmares would haunt him.They were almost as bad as the nightmare that was reality.Catching the roaring lion head in his palm, he studied its silver surface.Griever.The GF of his imagination that Ultimecia had used against him.Griever.Equal to the symbol upon both his gunblade and its case. Griever.The ring he had given to Rinoa, the ring she had taken to her grave.Griever.Grief and guilt, the only things left of his soul.

Closing his eyes for a second, he curled his fingers around the medallion and held it tightly, then slowly let go and sat up in his bed.Someone else was awake, too.Angelo was pacing back and forth by the door, whimpering and looking at him with big, black, sad eyes.She had been this way ever since Rinoa was gone, and Squall hated it.The dog was just another thing that reminded him, and he was relieved that Jadina had offered to take care of her.Tomorrow, the room would be empty again, and it would only be him and his thoughts.Then he could concentrate on his work.

What work, though?He obviously couldn't instruct anymore, after the incident earlier that day.So if Quistis hadn't told on him already, he would ask Cid to let him go back to just being commander.How was he supposed to teach the young cadets anything when he could not stand being around them, or anyone?And as a commander… Xu and the headmaster took care of most of the formal stuff.Squall only dealt with missions and battles, paperwork just wasn't his thing, proved by how he despised the amount of it that came with being an instructor.Cid had discarded the contract with Adar Nalhan, due to circumstances within Garden, he said, and because the mission had turned out differently than it was supposed to.Even if it was rare for SeeDs to do anything like investigating murders, a contract was a contract and when it said investigation in Deling City, there should be an investigation in Deling City and not a suicide mission in Timber.In reality, Cid just didn't want Squall to go anywhere in his state.And when not instructing anymore, there wouldn't be much for Squall to do again, and more time for him to be alone and brood.Unfortunately.

Rolling off the bed, the young SeeD reached for his Lionheart that stood in the corner and headed for the door, not having bothered to undress earlier in the evening.Angelo pleaded to come, but he shut the dog inside the room, figuring whatever errand it had outside could wait till the morning.How very little he knew about dogs – but it had always been Rinoa who took care of it, so how could he know?

The Training Centre was lit by the numerous lights in the ceiling, though the ground was still shadowed by the many plants and trees.An artificial jungle, complete with monsters to fight.It had been a while since he came here to let out his frustrations.A long while.Not since their return to Garden, when Rinoa…

_Stop thinking!Just stop thinking about her!_

_ _

Seven grats had to pay with their lives as he fought to rid himself of his troubled thoughts, thoughts that didn't go away no matter how many monsters he killed, no matter what.Finally he sunk down with his back against a rock to catch his breath, wiping the sweat off his brow and the blood off his gunblade.But he wasn't allowed to relax for long, before a rustle caught his attention, and he stood up, alert.Another grat or two?Or even a t-rexaur, perhaps?

Instead, a tall figure in a white coat stepped into his view, Hyperion resting securely against one shoulder.Seifer regarded his former rival with narrowed eyes as the other boy's expression changed from surprise to that ever-present frown, and he slowly moved his free hand down to place it on his hip, smirk appearing just as predictably as Squall's frown."Out slaughtering ugly plant-monsters in the small hours, are we?"

"Whatever."

"And he still has the same limited vocabulary!"Seifer remarked with an arrogant snort, approaching Squall with idle steps, "I thought you were a world-wide hero, Squally, but you're exactly as I remember you."Ignoring the other's glare, the blonde paused to smile to himself, the continued, "Well, not exactly. Beating up cadets and such… Tsk tsk.Not much of a hero at all, huh?The Disciplinary Committee wouldn't approve of that, if it was still around."

Pressing a black gloved hand against his face, Squall sighed, "What do you want?"

"Same thing as you want, I'd assume.Let off some steam," Seifer shrugged, "Only these monsters in here aren't much of a challenge, are they?"Squall looked at him.A brief flash from a few months ago came back to him.Those were almost exactly the words Seifer had used when challenging him that morning when they both got scarred.Lowering his gunblade, the older of the two gazed questioningly at Squall, no longer smiling, "En guarde?"

Squall was reluctant, but he had never let down a challenge from his rival before.Ever.

"Come on," Seifer pressed, "Or did Rinoa make a chicken out of you?"

That did it.

Someone was going to get another scar for that comment.As he literally leapt forward, it didn't take even a second for Squall to begin the second fight with another human being he had engaged in that day.And this time, he held nothing back, battling like he had the morning when everything began, and counting on winning unless Seifer cheated again.He would have won last time too, hadn't it been for that fire spell.

But he didn't expect the blonde to be so quick.Sparks glittered in the yellow light from the lamps as the blades hit each other again and again, without ever getting close to hurting the persons behind them.Either Seifer had been practicing since they fought him when he was corrupted by Ultimecia, or Squall just didn't have the motivation that night that he used to have.

Imagine the surprise when his Lionheart was suddenly knocked out of his hands.Stormy eyes flew up to meet Seifer's more greenish blue ones, his opponent's Hyperion ready to come down on him before he could move away… but instead it was slowly lowered.

"You're strong, Squall, and you fight well," Seifer admitted, all the arrogance Squall had expected to find in both his expression and voice nonexistent, "… yet you lose.Because the goal you're fighting for is no longer yours."

The statement startled Squall, and angered him, but he tried to fight it off, though was partly unsuccessful, "What would you know?" he snapped back, while bending down to fetch his gunblade.

"A hell of a lot more than you would think," Seifer frowned, and stepped in Squall's way when he tried to walk off, "Oh, no you don't.Do you think you're the only one who's been hurt, Squall?Do you think you're the only damn soul on the planet who's lost someone?Heck, look at yourself, you're a wreck, but if you'd just open your eyes a little bit you'd see all the friends you have left swarming around you.Chicken-wuss, Instructor Trepe, messenger girl, the cowboy… They're always there, you're just too caught up in yourself to see them."

_What is it to you, Seifer?Why are you even here?_

_ _

Still not caring that the only response he got was a harsh look, Seifer went on, his tone lowering a bit but being equally rough, "You want to know about losin' everything that matters, eh?Well, have a look.The ultimate knowledge of that is standing right before you.Every dream I ever had was crushed.What I was tryin' to do in Timber was ruined, those guys in the 'resistance group' were killed. …Fujin and Raijin died there.There's absolutely nothing left, no friends, no home, no Garden, no nothing." As his voice started to tremble at the last word, the blonde boy quickly fell quiet, taking in the indifferent expression Squall offered.

"…And yet you're still around."

Seifer nodded, "Yeah, I am.I'm not gonna chicken out on my life," he paused, "And you're still around, too."

As Squall turned to make a second attempt at walking away, Seifer didn't try to stop him.Before he had come far, however, Seifer's words rang through the air, "But I have a feeling the only reason you are is 'cause you're too much of a coward to end it."


	7. Chapters 19 - 21

Chapter XIX:

Chapter XIX:

It had been painful having to be in the same room as everyone else that morning, having to see their sympathetic looks and their worry that he didn't want.But even though Cid hadn't said anything about the incident in the Training Centre, he had insisted that Squall joined them when Ellone and Laguna arrived earlier that morning."They're here because of you, after all," had been his argument.Which Squall had already guessed, and was exactly what he feared.

All the false pity annoyed him to no end.Zell could pat him on the back while Jadina stood nearby with Angelo, her brown eyes huge with curiosity as if she had never seen anyone quite that depressed before, which she probably hadn't.Selphie could try to cheer him up by dragging him along to dinners and planning an endless amount of surprise parties, and Irvine always tried - and luckily managed - to make her realize it wouldn't do any good.Quistis tried to approach a few times, but he always avoided her.And when even Seifer started analysing his soul, it had gone too far.It was as if the whole Garden was trying to make up for the fact Squall had lost Rinoa; he could tell by the looks all the students gave him, by how they hadn't told the headmaster that Squall was an outright dangerous instructor at the moment.Or maybe they had told him and Cid just wouldn't say anything because he didn't want to upset Squall.Either way, it pissed him off.

Everyone's sympathy just pissed him off.Because they didn't know, they couldn't know, no one could know what it was like to be him.

He had found a quiet corner of the cafeteria, having a cup of coffee to help him recover from last night's lack of sleep.In fact, he hadn't slept much at all for a long time, and killing things and fighting Seifer in the middle of the night didn't exactly help boosting his energy level.Naturally, he wasn't left alone for very long.From behind long, dark bangs he spotted a familiar face walking into the cafeteria, pushing past a few students' tables, before her kind eyes fell upon him.Obviously he was what she had been looking for.

"Squall," Ellone's voice came softly as she walked over to where he was sitting, "So here you are.I've been searching all over for you."

Squall watched her for a long time, his expression blank. "Well," he finally muttered, "Figures you'd eventually find me, then."

The chestnut haired, young woman merely held in a barely restrained sigh and started to pull out the second chair by his table, though she was polite enough to ask, "Mind if I sit down?"

_Would you go away if I told you I did mind?_

_ _

"Go ahead," he shrugged.

She smiled vaguely, settled down in front of him and put her green shawl in place before leaning her elbows lightly on the table's surface.Another moment of silence followed as she contemplated what to say, then spoke up, "Squall, I wanted to say that… I'm sorry."

His eyes immediately began to protest, and Ellone quickly added, "No, no… I'm sorry I couldn't be here before.There's so much I've been wanting to tell you, so much I should have told you last time I was here, but…."

"That's in the past."

Her delicate eyebrows lowered, "Don't you ever feel like talking with someone, Squall?I can't make up for all the years I wasn't there, but I'm here now.We came as fast as we could when we heard about Rinoa, but uncle Laguna _is_ the president, and sadly he had a lot of things to take care of at the moment.I can see you're hurting.Why don't you open up a little?"

Not having noticed how he stared at her in growing anger while she spoke, Ellone was taken by surprise when Squall slammed a clenched fist down onto the table, making his coffee cup jump and its contents spill.All heads turned to him when he abruptly stood up, but he was beyond caring, "So you left.Fine!You left long ago, and you can't come back here now and expect things to be the same!I _changed_, Ellone.I'm not that little boy anymore, and you're not my big Sis.So, please, just… leave me alone."

He had to bite back the guilt that spread in him when he saw the hurt that welled up in her eyes, but forced himself to turn and abandon her there, like she once had abandoned him.Why?Why did he keep feeling this way when he knew it wasn't her fault?… because it was still painful.It was the exact same thing over again, what had made him so introverted, so worried about what others thought of him, so afraid of close contact with any other human being.Too many emotions… Just too many old emotions and memories that resurfaced.

When Squall was on his way out the door of the cafeteria, with numerous pairs of eyes still staring at his back, someone grabbed his wrist just in time to keep him from leaving.Whirling around in annoyance, he found himself looking into Quistis' icy, stern eyes.

"How can you treat her like that?!" she demanded.

_Oh no, why does she always have to interfere?!_

_ _

"How _can_ you treat her like that?" Quistis repeated, letting go of his arm as he tugged on it and placing her hands on her hips instead, "All she wants to do is help!Same as all of us.We just want to help you, Squall, yet you treat us like dirt – _exactly_ like you used to do, only worse.Don't you realize we miss Rinoa too?!"

Squall glared at her, but remained silent, tilting his head to look at the crowd that were watching them.As the commander's angry gaze fell upon them, the students and cafeteria ladies quickly looked away, but Quistis noticed their audience too and thus followed Squall when he walked out the door like he had intended to.Once they were in the hall and out of hearing range, she continued, a sharp edge to her tone, "Don't you have anything to say about it?Or are you just going to keep ignoring us as always?Say something, Squall!"

_Say something, say something, that's all they ever tell me.Fine, I'll say something._

_ _

Quistis was taken a bit off guard when Squall stopped walking, just like that, his voice a low growl when he spoke and – hadn't she known better – she'd say his expression was almost hateful, "You're _not_ my big sister any more than Ellone is, Quistis, nor are you my instructor anymore, so stop pretending you can tell me what to do," the words were spoken almost without emotion, but she could tell he was holding back his anger, as he was holding back everything else."If you all know I _don't want your help, _why do you keep trying?!Why can't you leave me alone?"

The answer seemed simple enough, and Quistis sounded a lot more meek and yet sorrowful when saying it, "Because we love you.Care about you, like you still do for Rinoa even now, and like you used to do for Ellone.Is that so hard to understand?"

Apparently, it wasn't the answer Squall had expected, because his frown melted away even as he kept watching the sad, blonde woman in front of him, then looked at the ground."Whatever," was his only reply after a few seconds of hesitation, and Quistis didn't follow when he walked away.

Walked away from any contact with his feelings as he always had done.

Later that same day, Squall was sitting on one of the benches out in the main hall of Balamb Garden, flipping through his deck of cards just to have something to do.He had once taken a childish pride in having one of the best collections of cards in Garden, something which he had hidden from everyone else, of course, but after Rinoa had died he had just stopped playing entirely.

He could remember how he had gotten each one of the rare cards.The Quezacotl card, for example, which he had won from that idiot Mayor Dobe in Fisherman's Horizon.Or the Angelo card that he achieved when playing cards with Zone from Forest Owls.Why anyone would want to make a card of a dog was beyond him.Zone… and Watts.They had both died in the bombing of Timber, along with Fujin and Raijin and many, many other people, and…

Pausing as he put the Siren card to the back of the deck, Squall watched the card that was now before him.Rinoa.He had won it from her father, General Caraway, during the first visit to Deling City and the sorceress assassination mission, and had lost his Ifrit card in order to get it, which he incidentally had never got back.Just seeing her face stung inside him; the wonderful, reassuring smile, the beautiful, warm brown eyes.The tiny, little picture on the card could never compare to the beauty the real her had been, though.His saving angel.

"Hey, Squall," said a voice just above and to the left of him, and Squall put away the cards in a swift motion, as if caught in the act of doing something he wasn't supposed to do, before looking up at whoever the voice belonged to.It was Laguna.Hopefully, he hadn't noticed the card Squall was looking at.

He had, however.But the 44 year old president only offered a goofy smile, "I was just wondering if… you'd like to take a walk or something.You know, to talk."He saw the suspicious, reluctant expression on the boy's face, and added, "Commander of Garden and President of Esthar need to get to know each other, you know?For future contact, and such. …unless you're busy, that is."

Squall thought about this for a moment, but realized that it'd be rather ridiculous to tell the president he was busy when he had just seen him sitting there looking through Triple Triad cards.Giving a single nod, the young SeeD stood up, "… Fine."

"Great.Why don't we go outside?Such a lovely day," Laguna suggested, putting his hands in his pockets as the two of them headed down the hall.Luckily for the president, Squall was too caught up in his own thoughts to notice how nervous Laguna was.

They walked for a while, sticking to the road that led towards Balamb town.Indeed it was a nice day.The sky was blue, the sun was shining and the birds were chirping – Squall could care less if it was raining.Laguna went on talking about Esthar and how the rebuilding was going, about future plans and companionship with Garden, about what uses they could have of the Ragnarok that Esthar had granted the SeeDs a while back.Squall only gave a few nods and one word-replies.

Finally, Laguna's constant chatter came to an end and there was an awkward moment of silence, as he concentrated on fixing his loose ponytail and flicked away a few stray, black bangs from his face.Squall stared at the ground and a little ahead of himself.

"Thinking about her?"

Squall blinked at the slightly unexpected question, then frowned, "…Why?"

"Because I used to get like that myself," Laguna said softly, canting his head as he watched the younger man carefully, "I know how you feel."

_Not again._

_ _

The frown only grew deeper and Squall snorted mockingly at Laguna's words, "Don't tell me you know how I feel," he said curtly, "You don't know, so don't try to feel sorry for me or comfort me."

Laguna actually frowned himself, and stated rather firmly, "Yes, I do know, Squall.I know very well.I've been through exactly the same thing."At this, Squall paused in his step and turned to look at Laguna blankly, who took in a deep breath and sighed, "Remember when we first met?You asked me about Raine.I guess you saw her in Elle's 'dreamworld'."

The older man looked out across the green grasses of the Balamb continent as he continued, struggling to keep his voice calm as he spoke, "Raine was my wife, Squall.She took care of me when I was washed up on the shore near Winhill after one of my, Kiros' and Ward's… less fortunate adventures.That's how I met Ellone, too.Raine had adopted her after Adel's soldiers killed her parents.She was such a sweet, little girl," he smiled weakly.

Squall remembered this.He had seen Ellone in Winhill with Laguna and the woman named Raine through Ellone's own ability, where she was far younger than he could remember her being when she left him.

"But then Adel took Ellone away from us, and I went out to search for her, leaving Raine behind.Raine was usually such a well-tempered woman," Laguna chuckled to himself, then turned more solemn again, "… but that day, she was just sad."He sighed deeply.The next part was going to be hard on him."I… I found Ellone after a few months, in Esthar, but I had made a promise to the people who helped me there that I'd repay my debt by aiding them in taking Sorceress Adel from power, so I had to send Ellone back to Winhill alone.When I finally was able to return to Winhill, after becoming president of Esthar, I… she…"

Laguna made a pained expression, kicking at the dirt with his boot, "… R-Raine was dead.And Ellone was sent to some orphanage, but the people in the village wouldn't tell me where.They never were very fond of me."There was another, long moment of silence.Squall wasn't frowning anymore, only watching Laguna with mild curiosity.

"… I loved Raine very much, and was overcome with guilt for not being there for her, for not protecting her, comforting her… I… keep wondering to this day… if there was anything I could've done to prevent it from happening, even if I know, deep down inside, that the only thing I could have done was being there by her side…."Laguna bit his lip, but unlike Squall, he didn't have any big problems with showing what he felt, and clearly it hurt him a lot to talk about this.Squall, who had always viewed Laguna as some moron who had only gotten to be president out of luck, could for once vaguely relate to the dark-haired, middle aged man.

"I'm sorry," he offered in a quiet tone, saying the exact same thing that despised others telling him.

"Yeah," Laguna whispered, wiping away a tear before it got a chance to appear, "So am I." … "I visited her grave for the first time recently.It's funny… Even as much as the Winhill people disliked me, they still let her keep my name on her grave.Raine Loire."

His words were lingering as if there was something more Laguna wanted to say, but he wouldn't let it out.The sun was lower on the sky now, and the two men's shadows were longer than they had been when they left Garden.Squall was ready to turn and start on their way back when Laguna spoke up again, as if he had known what to say all along but had just needed to muster the courage to actually say it.

"Her maiden name, however, was Raine Leonhart."

……

_What did he just say?_

Something dawned upon Squall, and as he slowly began to realize what Laguna had just told him, that the whole point of this story hadn't just been to parallel what had happened to Rinoa, he snapped around to face the other male."W-_what?! _…"

Laguna swallowed, and nodded nervously, "I wanted to tell you sooner… Kiros and Ward kept hinting at it for you, but I don't think you noticed in the middle of that Ultimecia mess.… Squall… son, I…" he trailed off, unsure of how to explain.

Squall just stared in disbelief, but as soon as he got to his senses, he advanced upon Laguna quickly, his pace angry and threatening, "Y-you … you _knew_ this?All along?!"

"Y-yes, but I-" Laguna took a step back, unnerved by Squall's intense scowl, "… a-as I said, they wouldn't tell me where you and Elle were!I searched, but-"

"Liar," it came out a hiss, and before Squall knew he what he was doing, he had grabbed Laguna by the collar of his shirt, "Liar!You knew where the orphanage was, I saw you there!" – _memories from the dreamworld_ – "I _saw_ you!"__

_ _

"Squall, I swear!I searched, but there are dozens of orphanages out there, you could've been anywhere!Please, let me explain…!" the president sounded genuinely frightened by now, but he didn't struggle even as his son held him.

Squall had few times before felt such a rage build up within him, and it scared even himself.Instantly, he felt like hitting this man who had impregnated his mother only to leave her behind to die.Left him behind, like everyone else.But, he restrained himself, gritting his teeth with anger as he let go and backed away from Laguna, "Get away from me."

"Squall…," Laguna began, but Squall only skipped two more steps backwards.

"J-just get away from me," he snapped another time, before turning on his heel and breaking into a run towards Garden, leaving a very wounded and guilty father standing on the road.

Chapter XX:

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming, I'm _coming_!"Zell Dincht said with annoyance as he stumbled towards the door, still not fully awake, "Tch, who the hell's disturbin' people this early?"

The knocking came to an abrupt end as he ripped open the door without even bothering to look at whoever was out there."What is it?" he asked gruffly, apparently not very happy about being woken at 6:30 am.

Quistis' ice blue eyes grew a tad wide behind her glasses as she stared at her fellow SeeD, who was standing there in only his sky blue boxers with small, white clouds on it, and his blonde hair was standing out in all directions.Slowly she lowered her hand and placed it on her hip, lifting one delicate eyebrow, "Well, good morning."

Realizing just who it was, Zell blinked a couple of times and immediately straightened himself, trying to hide behind the only partly opened door, "Quistis!Uh… I… what are you doing here?"

The instructor seemed about to say something, but the sound of a dog barking inside the room caught her attention.Pushing at the door to open it completely, and ignoring Zell's protests, she spotted a very familiar animal standing on Zell's carpet, "Angelo?"

"Mmm… Zell? … Who is it?" Under the white sheets crumpled in a heap on Zell's bed, something moved, and soon a brown haired head peeked out from beneath them.When seeing Quistis standing there, however, she immediately pulled the blankets closer to herself, apparently deeply embarrassed, "Oh."

As Quistis shot a sharp, questioning look at him, Zell blushed furiously, "Err… There's a perfectly good explanation for this, Quisty, you see- "

"Save it, Zell," Quistis sighed, shaking her head, "We don't have the time.Get dressed and get up to the headmaster's office immediately.It's urgent," she glanced at the cadet in the bed with a frown, "You too, Jadina.Hurry up."

She closed the door behind her, and Zell let out a sigh of relief. "Man, I thought she was gonna make a big fuss about it," he told his girlfriend as he reached for his baggy pants and pulled them on.As the brunette smiled at him, however, he grinned in return.She was so beautiful, and even more now when her hair was loose and not in a pigtail, for once.As his hand found its way into his pocket, Zell's fingers curled around something there, and he remembered.Swallowing, he approached the bed where Jadina was busy getting dressed as well.He had put it on hold for so long now…"Hey, Jade… I…"

"_Now, _Zell!" came Quistis' demanding voice from outside the room, and Zell made a grimace.Jadina looked at him curiously now, waiting for him to continue.

"Eh, never mind.We'd better hurry up."

He'd get Quistis back for that.Someday.

Cid Kramer's office was crowded, with his wife Edea sitting next to him and six SeeDs gathered around.Zell tried to make himself as invisible as possible as he snuck in last, but couldn't escape Cid's mildly reprimanding glance.Selphie and Irvine were standing there hand in hand, flirting innocently with each other as if everything was back to normal between them.Quistis was looking as calm as ever, and Squall was hiding out by one of the walls, staring at the floor.Nida and Xu were in the room as well, and judging by the mood in the air, something serious had come up.So Zell simply stood in the background quietly, trying to contain his curiosity.

"I'll get straight to business," Cid said, standing up and pacing around his desk to face the SeeDs, "Just an hour ago, the Galbadian army attacked Dollet full force, and we received a request for SeeD to aid Dollet as soon as they were able to send it.Unless we provide sufficient help, this is going to have severe consequences for Dollet.We have already seen what Zolqer Temeka did to Timber, and it is obvious he is aiming for full control of the entire Galbadian continent.Perhaps Balamb will be his next target."

The others in the room looked at each other with concerned expressions.Quistis glanced at Squall.He was paying attention too, now, but he didn't seem overly interested.Then again, he never did.Looking back at Cid, she asked, "So you are sending us on this mission?"

Cid nodded, "Yes, along with a handful of lower ranking SeeDs and three groups of cadets.This will also be their field exam, although they will only deal with minor conflicts and not be in the centre of the battle," he cast a quick look in Zell's direction as the blonde boy seemed anxious to speak, "And before you ask, Zell; yes, Jadina is among them.I am going to divide the seven of you into two teams, and- "

"Cid."Nine pairs of eyes looked in the direction of the unexpected voice, surprise evident in them as the tall blonde stepped into the office.

Edea blinked, "Seifer…?"

"What do you want?"Cid demanded, turning around to watch Seifer with a frown, "We are in the middle of something here."

Barely holding in an apparent dislike for the headmaster, Seifer looked around the room before rolling his shoulders in a shrug, "Sir, I… I'd like to ask to join the SeeDs on their mission."

"Join us??" Selphie chirped.

"No WAY!" Zell exclaimed, stepping forward and waving a fist in the air, "You're _not_ comin' with us, damn traitor!"

"Zell, please," Quistis sighed, and Nida stepped in between Zell and Seifer just in case.

Seifer only glowered at the shorter teenager, "Yeah, shut up, Chicken-wuss."

"Seifer," Cid folded his hands behind his back and moved over to look straight up into the young man's eyes sternly, "If you want to even _stay_ here in Garden, you had better treat my SeeDs with respect.All of them.Understood?"

Still glaring, Seifer was quiet for a moment, before mumbling a reluctant, "Yes, sir."

"Now," the headmaster continued in a softer tone, "Tell me, why do you want to go with them to Dollet?"

There was a long pause.When looking through the room another time, Seifer saw the same question on everyone else's faces as well.Xu was deliberately scowling at him, as were Zell and Squall, although the latter seemed mostly puzzled.Quistis and Nida were both neutral, and Selphie appeared more curious than anything, while Irvine was watching him with a doubtful look.Only Edea looked like she was concerned – for him.

"There's not much else for me to do.I can't just hang around here forever, so I might as well be of some help, eh?"Seifer canted his head, "You never know, I could prove to be useful.I was in charge of the Galbadian army at one point, after all- " there was an obvious lack of pride in his voice as he mentioned it, "I know a few of their tricks.And I can still match Leonhart's fighting skills," Seifer grinned as he nodded towards Squall, and was only rewarded with a harsh look."Come on, Cid. Give me a shot?"

Cid couldn't recall ever hearing Seifer ask nicely for anything before.Despite the lingering arrogance, there was a definite change in the previously cocky blonde.He had been humiliated, his dreams and hopes had been crushed and his best friends were gone.How could Cid reject the boy he and Edea once had raised when he truly had no one else to turn to, nothing else to do, nowhere else to go?The headmaster looked at his wife for support, and she nodded at him with a smile, glad that Cid was finally able to see what she had seen the moment Seifer returned to Garden, "Very well, Seifer.I'll let you have a chance.This _one chance_, and no more.If you fail to obey a single order, if you cause any trouble of any kind, you are out of here.Do I make myself clear?"

Seifer let a light smirk grace his lips, "Loud and clear… sir."

"But, but…" Zell began, "Headmaster, you can't do that!He betrayed all of us, he sided with Ultimecia!How can you let that… that- "

"That's quite enough, Zell," Cid said firmly, moving back to his desk, "There's nothing more to discuss.We need to decide on the teams."

Zell stared in disbelief, and he rapidly searched for support, but none of the others seemed about to object and Seifer only gave him that same, self satisfied smirk as he looked at him.As a last resort, Zell turned to the quiet commander, "Squall!"

"Let it go, Zell," Squall muttered indifferently, waiting for Cid to get on with it.

Dropping his arms with a defeated sigh, Zell shook his head to himself, "Tch."

"Right," the headmaster looked at them, "Squall, you'll lead the first team, consisting of yourself, Quistis, Nida, and…," he paused briefly, "Seifer.Xu, you lead the second theme and bring along Zell, Irvine and Selphie."

They all nodded, and Zell was apparently relieved to be on a different team than Seifer, but Squall exchanged a quick look with his ex-rival, none of them being particularly pleased with having to work together.

"Meet at the front gate in one hour.You'll take the Ragnarok to Dollet, while the other SeeDs and cadets will take the battle cruisers.We can't afford to move the Garden itself anywhere near the battlefield," Cid said, then gave a single nod of his head, "That will be all.You are dismissed."

As the eight of them moved out of the office, Cid went over and put a hand on Quistis' shoulder, "Quistis…"

The young instructor turned to him, tilting her head lightly, "Yes?"

Cid narrowed his eyes in concern, lifting his hand to pull down his glasses a bit, and peered up at the woman, "Please keep an eye on Squall.I'm worried about him.I didn't want to say anything to him, but…And Seifer, too.I don't want any incidents."

"I understand, sir," Quistis replied evenly, though she was apparently rather worried herself, "I'll do my best."

"I know you will," Cid smiled as Quistis walked out the door._You always did your best. _Edea came over to him and slipped her arm around his, and that alone kept him from sighing heavily to himself.

"Hey!"

Squall heard someone call as he stepped down the stairs from the elevator.From behind him Laguna was approaching, with Ellone in tow, "Squall, I need to talk to you."He was clearly nervous.

"I don't have the time," Squall said plainly, "I have to get ready for a mission."No emotion.No expression.This was President Loire he was speaking to, as it had always been.It was not his father.

"Please?"Laguna asked softly, "I… I have to go back to Esthar today, so I won't be around when you're back.Elle will stay here for a while, though… to spend some time with Edea, and…," he trailed off.

Ellone merely stood next to her 'uncle', watching Squall sadly.She knew she could not reach him even if she tried, and wasn't sure who or what to blame the most. Her ability, which was the reason she had to leave him thirteen years ago, herself for not staying with him – even if she knew she couldn't - , or him for refusing to forgive her even when he had told her he had.

"Anyway," Laguna continued, wincing as he felt his leg begin to cramp up.It hurt to see that look on his son's face.His son?Did he even have a right to think of him as that?He had known of his existence all along, and had never come for him.Yet… when he thought about it, he knew he wouldn't – couldn't – have done it differently."Squall, we have to talk about this… sometime."

Squall watched the man before him for a short, quiet moment, then spoke in a harsh tone, "I don't have anything to say to you."

The instant he knew he wouldn't be able to look at Laguna a second longer without losing his temper, Squall turned and continued down the stairs quickly.There was an important mission ahead of him.

_Just focus on the mission… Nothing else matters, just concentrate on the mission…_

_ _

_Damn it.Damn it all._

Chapter XXI:

The Ragnarok was moving smoothly through the air, making the ride nothing but comfortable, and thus sharply contrasting the times when Selphie had been piloting it.Now when Nida was in control of the old Estharian spaceship, no one would have to worry about getting sick, at least.

Selphie was pouting, though.She had pleaded Cid to be allowed to drive the Ragnarok to Dollet, but after repeated protests from Zell, Cid decided it would be better if Nida took care of it, as he had recently taken an interest in piloting Garden and had also been trained in driving Ragnarok.Still, that didn't keep Selphie out of the control room, and wherever she went, Irvine went also.The others, however, where gathered down in the passenger room, which was way larger and had enough seats for all of them.Squall would have refused to go anywhere near the control room, anyway.Too many bad memories from when he first encountered the Ragnarok and was on his way home with Rinoa.Or actually, they were kind of good memories, which made it even worse.

Seifer was leaning back in one of the chairs near the large windows, his legs crossed and his feet resting on the back of the chair in front of him, as he was trying to exaggerate his obvious boredom even more than usual.Perhaps to show them all he was still the same, old Seifer, even despite how he had 'humiliated' himself back in Cid's office.Zell was pacing back and forth, unable to stand still as ever and eager to fight.Xu and Quistis were both seated nicely next to each other, and Squall knew Seifer was probably irritated with how correctly the two female SeeDs behaved.The thought would have made him smirk hadn't he had so many things to think about.Same old Seifer, indeed, but he had definitely changed in many ways.Just how much he had changed would most likely soon be proven during the mission.Returning his gaze to proceed staring at the floor, Squall only partly listened as Seifer suddenly spoke up.

"Zell, will you stop walkin' about like a damn nervous fool?It's annoying."

Even Squall took notice of how the word 'chicken-wuss' was left out.

Snapping around to face the other blonde, Zell scowled, but did restrain himself, "Well, I can't help it!I'm worried about Jadina."

Quistis turned her head, offering a brief smile in Zell's direction, "You don't need to worry about her, Zell… She'll be fine.She's in my class, and she's a very good student," she paused, her smile becoming a bit wry, "And she'd be even better if she concentrated a little less on the library… and you, and more on her training."

Feeling awkward, Zell just snorted and turned back to look out the window before anyone could see him blush.Quistis chuckled to herself, but quickly became serious again and let her smile drop, exhaling slowly.Xu caught the light sigh coming from her friend.

"Is everything all right, Quistis?"

The instructor nodded, "Yes… I was just thinking about the poor, innocent citizens in Dollet.If we should worry about anyone, we should worry about them.They're defenceless against the Galbadian soldiers."

"Heeey," Zell exclaimed, "Don't your parents live in Dollet, Quistis?"

The word 'parents' made Squall want to wince, but luckily for him, no one was looking at him and didn't see him twitch.Apparently, Quistis wasn't too happy about the subject Zell brought up either, as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat and looked away as a curious expression crossed Xu's face, "Well, yes…"

"Xu," Squall suddenly said, taking them by surprise as they hadn't expected him to say anything.He had never been talkative, but he even hardly said a word anymore now, "What's happening to that Nalhan guy?"

_There… subtle change of subject, and no questions will be asked.Laguna had better not have told anyone._

_ _

Quistis also seemed thankful for this.Her adoptive parents were still something she'd rather not talk too much about.Xu glanced at the commander, thinking through what Cid had told her earlier before replying, "He is still under house arrest, until President Temeka decides what to do with him, apparently.There's no one to help him now when the headmaster broke our contract with him.Well, except whatever of Caraway's loyalist soldiers are left.I'm surprised Temeka hasn't done anything yet – perhaps he's planning something big after crushing Dollet."

"He is _not_ going to crush Dollet," interrupted Quistis, "We'll make sure he won't."

"Hey, you chit-chatting people… Wake up," Seifer's voice cut into the conversation, and he was already standing by the door, "We've stopped."

As on cue, Selphie, Nida and Irvine entered the room as well.Getting back into business, Xu stood as well and nodded, "Right.So you all know what to do?We'll be two teams of four, and will take on the worst battle areas with help from three other SeeD teams.The cadets that are here for the field exam will be near the centre of the town, supported by another two teams of SeeDs.We are to get rid of every Galbadian soldier in the area."

They nodded, and Squall was the first to make his way to the door, "Let's just go."

Explosions, gunfire and soldiers - from both Dollet and Galbadia - and common people alike running about everywhere were the sight that met the members of Garden as they stepped out of Ragnarok and onto the beach.Several SeeDs and cadets had also entered the scene by now, and everything was just a complete chaos.Seifer looked around slowly before frowning, "Show me something I haven't seen before…"

Indeed, for everyone but Irvine, this looked all too familiar: The field exam during which Squall, Zell, Selphie and Nida had all graduated, and yet another one in a row of many which Seifer had failed.

"We have no time to lose," Xu said, "Zell, Irvine, Selphie, you're coming with me. We'll move up the east side of the town.Squall, you and your team concentrate on the west side.Okay, SeeDs, follow me."With that, she formed a firm grip around her staff and went ahead to enter the battle, the three others not far behind her.Squall stood looking after her for a few seconds, before realizing his team was waiting for him to take lead.Seifer was clearly impatient.Without a word, the young commander merely gave a nod before moving up the beach towards the western part of Dollet, past people fighting and bombs going off.

_Focus on the mission…_

_ _

Zolqer Temeka had really put all his effort into making the attack successful, for the amount of Galbadian soldiers was large, and they were outnumbering the SeeDs and Dollet's own defenders by far.Nida and Quistis were skilfully taking care of every soldier swinging their sword at them, blocking the blows with their spear and whip and counter-attacking with magic.Seifer was apparently having a blast.Some of the soldiers even recognized him, and their moment of hesitation was an advantage to him.They'd go down before the knew what had hit them.Squall's mind wasn't really on the battle.The enemy got in a few more blows than they should have and Cure spells of different levels had to be frequently used.The others on the team were getting tired too, and the soldiers just kept coming.There seemed to be no end to it.

A distant, yet dangerously close, loud roar broke through the sounds of spells being cast and weapons meeting weapons. Squall knocked down another soldier in time to turn and look in the direction of the sound, wiping his brow with a gloved hand.Nida, Seifer and Quistis joined him in looking around in confusion soon, as did the soldiers and the few other SeeDs nearby.Something was up on the mountains that partly separated Dollet from the rest of the continent.Something big and fire red.

"Ruby dragon…" Quistis shook her head in disbelief.

"How the hell did _that_ get up there?!" Nida asked.

"It flew up there, what do you think?!" Seifer snapped, "Who cares?"

Squall stared quietly at it for a long time, even as the war raged on around them.The dragon roared again, and the panic among both citizens and soldiers grew.Quistis frowned, "We can't afford having that thing attacking the town as well.There's already too much for us to take care of."

And then just like that, Squall took off towards the edge of the town.Towards the mountains.Nida tried to shout out something, but couldn't as another Galbadian soldier jumped at him.Seifer just blinked, and Quistis watched in total surprise before it came across to her what Squall was up to, and she found her voice again.

"Squall!!Squall, get back here! … That's… That's an ORDER!!"He didn't listen.God, he was running off again to take on the world alone, just like he had in Timber, like he had most of his life, really.Cursing, she whirled back towards Seifer, "Take care of things here."

"What??"

"You heard me, Seifer" she continued sharply, "I trust you to not mess things up.I have to –" another soldier lunged at her, and she side-stepped just in time to avoid the blade as it cut through the air, her whip cracking in quick succession and distracting the soldier long enough for her to cast Thundaga.As the galbadian fell to the ground, Quistis only shot a glance at Seifer, who gave a confirming nod, before she dashed off after the commander.

_I have to follow Squall._

_What are you doing._

He could imagine Shiva's outraged tone demanding to know what he was planning to do.But there was no Shiva there, and Bahamut didn't utter a word, never did.There was no one there to change his mind.What was he doing?He didn't even know himself.Acting on pure impulse, on feelings he didn't understand, on madness, Squall climbed the mountain on which the ruby dragon was standing.It wasn't too awfully steep, but still, he slipped and almost lost his footing more than once.But it didn't matter.Nothing did, really, except stopping that dragon.Trying to stop the dragon… and then what?He didn't think that far ahead.

Or maybe he did.

Hearing someone approaching, the ruby dragon growled and turned its heavy body to manoeuvre towards the sound, just as Squall crawled up to the flat surface of the top of the mountain.Letting out another furious roar, the beast lashed out to hit him with large claws, which Squall quite elegantly dodged, answering the attack by leaping forward and striking the dragon's shoulder with his gunblade, pulling the trigger as well.His movements were nearly automatic, as if he didn't have to think to fight, and only used his instincts.Squall's head was filled with a strange haze of confusing thoughts, a dull numbness that kept him from reacting in time when the dragon threw its head back in pain and anger, then opened its mouth to breath fire on the human that had dared step in his way.Gritting his teeth and shielding his face from the intense heat, Squall fell to the ground due to the impact, several burns already covering his body.

He was fighting a ruby dragon, he was fighting it alone, and it had wounded him badly before he had even given it a big enough scratch to prevent it from attacking the town.And he was shocked, yet not frightened when he realized he didn't care if it killed him.

Promptly, Squall rolled over to his stomach, ignoring the pain, and cast Bilzzaga on the monster.The dragon was clearly weakened by the stinging coldness against its sensitive skin, and responded by knocking his attacker backwards with a massive foreleg.Squall lost the grip on his gunblade and went over the edge of the cliff, only barely managing to grab the very edge with one hand before it was too late.Dangling.The ground was far, far below, falling meant instant death.The seconds went by very slowly as he tried to drag himself back up, but either didn't have the strength, or the will to do so.The noises from the battle in the town reached his ears, as well as the heavy snorts of the dragon as it came closer.His many wounds were hurting badly, but the overwhelming weakness that hit him wasn't that of his body, but that of his mind.He didn't want to pull himself up and continue fighting.But he didn't dare to let go and just fall.Death was tempting, yet frightening, and the worst thing was that Seifer had been right.Squall was too much of a coward to let go.

"Squall!" Quistis was out of breath as she hauled herself onto the cliff, getting to her feet as soon as possible to get a look around.And she gasped.

The Lionheart was abandoned on the ground, Squall was hanging off the cliff by only one hand, and the ruby dragon was moving towards him.How easily wouldn't it be able to kill him, how quickly, just a single blow, and-

-Quistis closed her eyes and stretched her arms forward, the white light bursting from her fingertips as a Holy spell struck the fiery beast.That caught the dragon's attention.It turned half-way around, then hissed as it swung its tail at the woman that has attacked him, throwing her to the ground.Quistis was completely exhausted.It felt like she had been fighting for hours, years, she had climbed a mountain, and the dragon's swipe had just added to her injuries.Something was building up inside of her, and her exhaustion would be what saved them both.

_Degenerator._

_ _

A black hole appeared out of nowhere, and the ruby dragon hardly had time to see what was happening before it was sucked into the dark nothingness, roaring one last time before the hole closed around it, leaving the cliff empty and silent except for the wind's soft howling and the shuffling of feet as Squall tried to get up.Another hand became visible, and Quistis hurried to get up and run over, grabbing both of Squall's arms and pulling with all her might, eventually managing to help him back to safety.Both flopped to the ground, panting and trying to revive enough strength to talk.At least Quistis was.And once she did, she sat up and stared at Squall with huge eyes, most of all feeling like slapping him for scaring the hell out of her.

"Squall, have you gone completely mad?What were you _doing_?!Trying to kill yourself?!"

But then the look on his face.All anger left her as quickly as the ruby dragon had vanished under the force of her limit break when she saw that look on his face.Guilt, pain, fear, frustration, … pain, so much pain… and most disturbing of all, the fact that he didn't try to deny her last words, that he didn't make up any excuse of any kind.He just looked at her… and he looked so incredibly hurt.

"Oh my God…," she whispered, shaking her head repeatedly, "… Oh my God, Squall, you really were… trying to…"

Then he broke down.The dam cracked open, the stream flowed out like a raging river, and Squall hid his face in his arms and sobbed painfully.Quistis had never seen him cry before, not since he was a little boy at the orphanage, and she doubted anyone had.It should have been Rinoa comforting him, but she was not there, and it was for Rinoa he was crying, and the torn heart her death had left him with.There was no one there but Quistis now.And so she carefully bit her lower lip, telling herself to be strong as she wrapped her arms around him, trying to pull him closer.He let her, and even if she thought it might be only because he didn't have the ability to do much of anything at the moment, that encouraged her.Rocking back and forth as if he was a small child, she let him cry on her shoulder, while chanting soft, meaningless phrases."It's okay… It's all right…"

A part of her took satisfaction in this, in a way she shouldn't have.

_I'll always be here for you to talk to.I'll always offer a shoulder to cry on.I'll always look out for you even when you don't want me to.We all do, Squall.I always did._

_ _

"Squall… you're not alone."


	8. Chapters 22 - 24

Chapter XXII:

Chapter XXII:

"Well," Cid looked around at the young ones gathered in his office, all of them tired, but in one piece, "We made it.Although barely.Several SeeDs and cadets were injured and a couple killed… but we made it."The headmaster paused, releasing a heavy sigh and leaning back in his chair.Edea was next to him, and put a supporting hand on his shoulder.Losing SeeDs in battle was a reality that couldn't be avoided, but she knew it still bothered him deeply.

A weary smile appeared on Cid's face, "I'm proud of your work, though.Without you, Dollet would have been history, Galbadia would have been even stronger, and Balamb would have lost a valuable ally.Well done."

Zell was beaming, and Selphie had troubles holding in a joyful 'Whoo-hoo', while Irvine and Nida were just smiling.Quistis, Xu and Squall seemed unfazed, and Seifer held a slightly apprehensive expression.But it melted away as Cid's smile grew a tad wider when he turned to him."Seifer, I'm most impressed with your effort.From what I've been told, you really did dedicate yourself to helping out our SeeDs today, and I'm grateful for that."

"Who would've thought…," Seifer shrugged, but his smirk witnessed of a certain amount of regained pride, "It's no big deal."

Cid just chuckled and shook his head, "You'd all better go get some much needed rest.You're dismissed… Squall, Quistis, please wait.I'd like to talk with you."

Squall frowned, but said nothing.He had a feeling the headmaster didn't have anything pleasant to say.As the others left, Edea exchanged a glance with her husband, before nodding and quietly following them out of the office.

When she had closed the door, Cid took a deep breath, then gave Squall a meaningful look before standing and leaning his hands on his desk.Quistis appeared to be a bit nervous, but she quickly concealed it and patiently waited for the headmaster to say something.Which he did, after a moment of thought, "Squall… in your time as a graduated SeeD, you've been nothing but responsible, following orders to a fault and always considering the situation to the best of your ability as a leader, and commander of Garden.So I have to ask you… What the hell were you doing out there?"He gave the young man no time to reply before continuing, "You abandoned the original mission and disobeyed orders to run up on a mountain to fight a dragon.Had it been to avoid its attack on the town, I would understand, but going for it alone was an incredibly foolish move, most of all because you risked your life, and deliberately refused to wait or ask for any backup.Hadn't Quistis been there, you would have been dead."

There was an eerie silence in the room after that.Quistis looked even more uncomfortable, but still, Squall didn't say anything.What was he supposed to say?Everything Cid had just told him was true, but quite frankly, the fact that Quistis had saved him bothered him a lot more than being reprimanded by Cid.And yet, he was strangely grateful that she had been there.Even if he found himself unable to look her in the eye after completely breaking down in front of her.

"I know, Sir," he eventually replied, monotonously.

"Don't you have anything to say, Squall?"Cid asked after a moment, as if expecting him to deny the accusations or give a good reason.There was no good reason.He had simply not thought about what he was doing at all; he hadn't wanted to.

"Sir," Quistis said softly at last, when the commander next to her wouldn't speak a word, "With all due respect…Please be a little more understanding.Squall has been through a lot recently."

_Quistis… Please don't start it. _Squall pressed a hand against his forehead.

Cid nodded, "Yes, Instructor Trepe, I am aware of that.But that can't be used as an excuse.When you're a SeeD, a Commander at that, _and_ an Instructor, you have to put personal problems aside for the greater significance of your work.Those people in Dollet depended on us to perform the mission they had paid us for.And Squall, your students are afraid of you, you know."With the last comment Cid revealed he had indeed known about the mishap with the cadet all the time.Squall wasn't really surprised.

Quistis narrowed her eyes, her voice carrying a more annoyed edge to it as she continued defending her friend, "But Rinoa-"

Cid exhaled, suddenly slamming his fist down on the desk, "I _know_, Quistis.Yet I can't let things like this happen, don't you understand that?There's a _war_ going on in Galbadia, and surely, soon it will affect us as well if nothing is done to stop Temeka's reign of terror.When Edea was possessed, I had to order her death.That hurt, a lot, but I was willing to do it for the greater good.I had once sworn to her I'd do anything to protect Garden, and so I did.When you are a SeeD, you must always be ready to sacrifice."

_Sacrifice what?My own sanity?Everything I actually care about?For what?I never asked for SeeD to rule my life, it just happened, and I played along.It's been like that all the time, until… Rinoa.I… wanted her._

The aging headmaster's glare softened as he turned to look at Squall again, a bit startled by the angered look in the stormy blue eyes that met him, but didn't hesitate, "I know it hurts, but you have to see it from my point of view.If I allowed you to take out your pain by means like these-"

He really hadn't expected to be interrupted."God dammit, those were _your_ goals you sacrificed yourself for, Cid – they were never mine!"Squall wouldn't have it, he just wouldn't have it.One thing was to tell him his actions had been wrong, but there was no way Cid could compare himself to his situation, because of one very important difference."And Edea… _didn't die_," he snapped, his voice shaky, then walked out.

Cid looked stunned and wanted to stop him, but Quistis shook her head, "Let him go, Sir…"She frowned, "He needed to say that."

While everyone else had taken the lift to the first floor, Seifer had stopped on the second, not feeling like going to his dorm room and rest right away.It was a double room, but he had it all to himself since Cid wouldn't risk putting any cadet in there with him.No cadet would have wanted to live there, anyway, and Seifer didn't blame them.In fact, he was glad he didn't have to put up with some pesky child, but the knowledge of how everyone in Garden felt about him was unpleasant, nonetheless.Leaning on the fence of the wide bridge passage that lead from the lift to the classrooms, he gazed down at the water in the first floor, smiling a bit at the view.It brought back memories.From when he was a cadet himself, and head of the disciplinary committee.Back when Fujin and Raijin were still around.Back when he had a crush on Rinoa.

"Pretty, isn't it?"Came a voice from behind him.A look over his shoulder revealed Edea approaching from the lift, her movements as smooth as they had been when she still was a sorceress, but her mild face was the one he remembered from… his childhood.She was beautiful, but not like she had been when he was her – no, Ultimecia's – knight."The whole Garden is an amazing work of art…Just like I imagined it when I first thought of the idea."

The blonde gazed at her for a second, then looked back down to the clear blue pools below, where the sky was reflecting in it through the glass ceiling far above."Yeah, I guess."

She stood next to him now, a light smile on her lips as she didn't try to be subtle about studying his face, "You've matured, Seifer.It's strange, because I still see you as my little boy…," she sighed, "I was surprised you decided to stay here."

"Heh.I'm doubting it was such a good idea, though."Seifer continued to look down blankly, "They all hate me.Don't tell me they don't, it's not hard to notice.They all look at me like I was sent here from hell, and you know, maybe they're right."

Edea narrowed her eyes, "Seifer, you know that's not true.You did a wonderful job today, you can't give up now.I know they aren't going to forget so quickly, but in time… they will learn to trust you again.If you give them reason to."

It felt strange talking with Edea like the person she once had been to him.Matron.Wise, kind, caring Matron who always knew what to say.Yet, she kept reminding him of Sorceress Edea, of Ultimecia, of everything he had done that he now was ashamed of.Yes, Seifer Almasy was ashamed."I failed at everything else.Even Fujin, Raijin… Rinoa… Hell, I never wanted to admit that Squall was better than me, but I guess that's what I always was fighting, guess I had to prove to be better than him.I failed at that too, but it doesn't matter now.This is my last chance at doing anything, 'cause I really have no other choice.They want my head for a prize most everywhere else.Here too, come to think of it, but Cid just won't let 'em."

He turned to look at her, his arrogance not shining too brightly this time, "But hey, if I can help getting this Temeka guy outta the way… I've at least tried to repay my debt."Edea paused, then smiled warmly.It was to show that she still cared about him, she didn't judge him.She had been there with him, been controlled in the same manner.Of course, he hadn't been manipulated at the same level, he had still been able to think and act for himself.But Edea still didn't put blame on him.She trusted that he could change; had changed.And if just one person in the world could do that…

"Would you like to accompany me to the cafeteria, Matron?" Seifer asked, cocking his head and smiling his classic smirk.

Circling her own arm around the arm he offered her, Edea answered calmly, "Yes, Seifer.I would like that very much."

Chapter XXIII:

_(Squall Leonhart, if you ever do that again I swear I'll never speak another word to you!)_

_ _

_Is that supposed to be a threat?_

_ _

Instead of saying anything, Shiva made an annoyed sound, but the Guardian Force was not able to remain angry for long and soon a chilly, yet pleasant laughter echoed inside his head._(Come on, you know you've missed me.Bahamut speaks even less than you do, which is no small feat.)_

_ _

_… Whatever._

_ _

_(Hey…) _Her voice was more gentle now.Squall knew that if she wasn't so worried about him, she would have been furious about not being junctioned for so long._(Are you… okay?)_

_ _

_…_

_ _

_(You don't have to answer that.…I know you don't like me prying, so I won't.)_

_ _

She would actually leave him alone?That was a first.But there was no use hiding much from Shiva, and he knew that too when he took her back._… I… I tried to kill myself._

_ _

_(…)_

_ _

_And I couldn't.Quistis wouldn't let me._

_ _

_(She cares about you.)_

_ _

_…_

_ _

"Heeey, Squall!"Zell rose from his chair and waved a hand enthusiastically, summoning Squall to join them by their table as he entered the cafeteria.There they were, Zell and Jadina, Selphie and Irvine, chatting cheerfully and celebrating their victory now when they had had a good night's rest.Sighing inwardly, Squall gave in to the offer and sat down without further argument, but he wasn't particularly pleased about it.He hadn't slept much, as usual, and had tossed and turned in bed most of the night.While the others were having breakfast, all he had ordered was a cup of coffee.

Irvine took a good, long look at the commander, perking a reddish eyebrow, "You ought to eat more or something, Squall.You look like hell."

"Irvine!"Selphie scolded and elbowed her boyfriend's side.But Squall didn't mind.The comment just reassured him that Quistis hadn't revealed everything that had occurred up on the mountain, or they would all have been worrying over him again.

_(See, even you are aware that they care about you, just like Quistis told you.You just don't want to admit it.)_

_ _

_… how do you know what Quistis has told me?_

_ _

_(… Uh.I had a chat with Siren…)_

_ _

_Great… our Guardian Forces are gossiping…_

_ _

"Squall, guess what?"Zell spoke up, wrapping an arm around Jadina's shoulders, "Jade passed her exam!Isn't that great?She's a SeeD now, and there'll be a graduation party tomorrow night," he grinned, and Jadina smiled shyly, yet proudly.The expression on her face signalised that she was seeking some sort of praise, so Squall gave a brief nod.

"Congratulations."

Selphie canted her head and glanced at Squall, "Hey, what did the headmaster want with you yesterday, anyway?"

"Nothing special."

"Oh… okay."Seeing she wasn't going to get in underneath Squall's shell this time either, Selphie turned her attention back to Irvine.Jadina and Zell were also occupied with their own conversation, and gradually it made Squall feel uncomfortable.They had enough with each other, and although they tried to include him, he always ended up convinced they'd all be better off if they would just let him sit at a different table.Their pity didn't help him.So once he had finished his coffee, Squall was ready to get up and leave.

However, that action had to be delayed when Quistis and Ellone walked in.The latter's brown eyes immediately fell upon Squall, an unreadable look in them that made him turn his gaze away from her.The usual greetings were made, and Ellone sat down between Zell and Selphie, while Quistis pulled out a chair next to Squall.

"It's so great to still have you here, Sis," Selphie said and smiled brightly.

Ellone looked at the sunny girl, and the way she spoke was indeed much like how a big sister would talk with a younger sibling.Watching them Squall was again reminded of how much the young woman had once meant to them all.

"Yes, I'm glad to be here.You are all so kind to me…," Ellone paused, "… It's a shame Uncle Laguna had to leave so soon, though."A seemingly random glance was given to Squall.

_Yes, yes… I get the hint._

_ _

Zell stood up, taking Jadina's hand, "Well, Jade and I are off.We're gonna visit Ma in Balamb town.So we'll see you guys later."

Selphie nodded, "Yeah, Irvy and I have to go too.We have to prepare the SeeD Graduation Party!Cid let me be head of the party committee this time too.Isn't that great?"She literally jumped to her feet and giggled.

Irvine just smiled smugly and tipped his hat as they left, and Squall was stuck with the two women.Before he managed to make an escape, Quistis spoke.

"I think Cid wants to talk to you again later on, Squall."

Leaning his forehead against the palm of his hand, Squall scowled down at the table, "What does he want?"

"Don't worry," Quistis let a light smirk slip onto her lips, "I don't think he's very angry anymore.He's taking away your instructor licence, though, but I guess that will only relieve you of some of your stress.You're still Commander of Garden."

"Excuse me," Ellone interrupted, "I'll just go order something to eat."Clearly she didn't feel too well around Squall anymore after his outburst at her, or at least that's what it seemed like to him.And he hadn't been very nice to her 'uncle' Laguna, either, but the president had certainly deserved that.Funny to think he and Ellone were closer to being brother and sister than he had ever known…

Once they were alone, Quistis changed both the subject and the tone of her voice as she turned to face Squall."How do you feel?" she questioned, hopefully not annoying him.He never wanted to speak about his feelings, but after crying in her arms, what could he possibly have to hide from her?Well, a lot, though she knew she was starting to get through to him.Or maybe she was just fooling herself; she had a way of doing that, hoping for the impossible.

How did he feel?Hopeless.Confused.Yet the urge to end it all was gone now, and some of the pain had left him, leaving an emptiness, a hole inside of him that he didn't know how to fill.Deprived of emotion."I don't know."

"You don't know?"

There was something else, the aching longing, the open spot that had once contained Rinoa.He had lost her without ever being able to tell her how much he cared, how much she meant.He didn't know what she had thought in her last moment, he only knew she had been angry when he left on the mission without her.He didn't get to say goodbye.

Squall shook his head and swallowed, still refusing to look at the woman next to him, "… I can't let go, Quistis…"

She nodded mutely.After a long pause, she hesitantly reached for his shoulder with her hand, and the movement along with the word that followed caused him to look up."Rinoa…," Quistis said softly, "You have to find a way to let go of Rinoa, or you won't be able to go on.… There must be a way."

Shrugging off her hand, he looked away again."How?" he whispered, rather hoarsely.

How.It was a very good question, one Quistis couldn't think of a quick answer to.But she didn't have to.The potential solution was there, right before her eyes.Of course.Why hadn't she thought of that before?Ellone was quite puzzled when Quistis rose the moment she had returned to the table with her salad bowl and glass of water, "I think I know of one."

Chapter XXIV:__

The sky had been covered in a blanket of grey clouds and a light drizzle had replaced the previously nice weather, making it seem to be later in the day than it really was.Squall stood staring out the window of his dorm room, watching without actually focusing as the rain droplets trickled down the glass on the outside.Then he turned to look at the two girls sitting there behind him, one on the chair and one on the bed.Sighing, he hid his face in his hand for a moment, then glanced back up at them.

"All right… let's do this."

"Squall," Ellone hesitated, her hazel eyes showing concern, "I don't know how it will work.You will be able to hear her, but I don't know if you can reach her."

"But he could the last time, right?" Quistis asked, "At least, that's what I've gathered… Why should it be any different this time?"

Ellone shook her head, "He did most of the work himself then.Maybe she was able to hear him because she is… was a sorceress.… But… this is… _different_.Are you sure you want to do it, Squall?It could cause more harm than good."

"… I have to, Ellone."Squall went over to the bed and sat down next to Quistis, resting his arms in his lap and leaning forward slightly.

_I have to, or I'll never know…_

_ _

"I have to try."

Nodding, the oldest of the three gave up trying to talk her once 'little brother' out of it, "Okay.But just remember, you can't change the past."

Quistis straightened her glasses and looked between the two others, "The door is locked and I made sure no one will disturb us, so everything is ready.Are you, Squall?"

Only a nod was given in return.Ellone took in a breath and let it out slowly, "Here we go… As you know, you'll instantly feel very sleepy, but at least you have a bed to fall back on this time.Try to concentrate on her, and nothing else."She bowed her head, chestnut bangs falling into her round, pretty face as she closed her eyes, breathed in deeply several times, then she was quiet.Quistis was keeping an eye on Squall, who was clearly nervous despite how he tried to conceal it, as it became harder and harder for him to stay awake.Gently, Quistis removed her glove and slipped her hand over to his, holding it, then looked at his face again.She smiled to encourage.He didn't smile back.

Then his eyelids were shut and he lowered himself limply to the bed, soon unconscious.Ellone was also lost in some kind of trance, and Quistis suddenly felt very lonely.Now she could only wait.

_(Don't speak with your voice or thoughts.Speak with your heart…)_

_…_

_ _

Darkness.

_…?_

_ _

Flash.Timber.Town Square.People running about everywhere in panic, gunfire, fighting, war.And in the midst of it was she, confused and alone.Lost.Rinoa.

_Rinoa…_

_ _

Someone familiar amongst the battling soldiers and citizens…Black leather and white furred collar.Then he was gone again.

(Squall… you came.)

_Rinoa?Can you hear me?I'm here, Rinoa!!Rinoa?!_

A sudden sensation of immense fear.Fear so unbearable it struck even him who was intruding into her mind.But she did not run, she just stood in the same spot, and she held onto one single thought.

(Protect Squall…)

_No…!Don't!You have to protect yourself!Protect yourself, Rinoa!!You're gonna die!_

_ _

Power, one so strong it could only be that of a sorceress.She could have survived.But she centred her power around him.He could not save her.She saved him.

(Protect him.)

_No, Rinoa-_

_ _

The explosion.Then nothing.

_…_

_ _

_… Rinoa._

(Am I… dead?)

_I'm here, Rinoa.Rinoa?_

_ _

(It… hurts…)

_Do you hear me?Please say you can hear me.I'll be there soon, you aren't alone._

_ _

(Squall…?Squall…)

Someone was touching her, lifting her bloody body off the ground.Her eyes blinked open.And through her eyes he looked up at himself, through her ears he heard his own voice, so desperate, so worried."Rinoa… Rinoa, wake."

(I am… not alone… Squall…)

"Squall… You're here…"

Oh, that mixture of horror and hopefulness on his own face.He did not know then, not for sure, what was about to happen."Of course I'm here.I promised we'd always be together, remember?Just stay with me… they'll get us back to Garden soon."

(Squall… my love…)

_I am here, Rinoa._

_ _

(… like you promised.)

"Tired... tired… so tired…"

"Rinoa?"The Squall he was looking at was becoming afraid, and the expression he saw in his own blue eyes startled him, "Rinoa, don't.Stay with me, stay awake."She shut the sight out.

(I want to stay…)

_Stay…_

_ _

(… but I can't…)

"Rinoa!Rinoa, come on, speak to me!Rinoa!_Rinoa!!_"

(I'm scared… to die… I don't want to.)

(… but these powers… they do not belong to me…)

(… it's all right now, though… you're safe…)

_Rinoa, you're everything to me._

_ _

(No, I gave away my life to you… so you could go on… Don't throw it away.)

_I…_

_ _

(Live, Squall… and it'll be worth it.Just one more promise.)

"Please, Rinoa…," sounded his voice in the background, "Wake up, please.Don't die.Please..."

(Promise me you will smile again.)

_Rinoa…_

_ _

(Promise me you will live.)

_Forgive me._

_ _

(Promise.)

_… I promise._

_ _

Again he looked through her eyes, and saw the blurry image of his tearstained face.Rinoa's hand reached up to take his, and then led it down to hold around the rings on her necklace.And then she would smile, but he couldn't see it this time.How he loved that smile.

"You'll be fine…"

The white light.Then the world blacked out.

And the connection was broken.

Ellone gasped and sunk back in her chair, taking a few minutes to gather her senses.Quistis perked up, squeezing Squall's hand as he started moving, his eyes blinking several times before staying fully open.A single tear slid down the side of his cheek, but he was silent.

"Squall…?Are you all right?"

He sat up, pulling his fingers through his hair and then stared at the floor."… I'll be fine."

Standing, he didn't pay attention to Quistis' mildly confused look or the way Ellone watched him with her usual peacefulness that had been absent for a while, and stepped over to the window again.The weather hadn't changed much, except it was a little darker now, as the night was approaching.


	9. Chapters 25 - 27

Chapter XXV:

Chapter XXV:

Selphie had really outdone herself this time.The second floor ballroom, only used for SeeD graduation parties, was beautiful in itself, but when Selphie was leading the party committee, she had made sure all was nothing but perfect, everything from lighting to music to the food.The girl was literally beaming with pride as everyone around her congratulated her on a job well done, and she seemed even brighter than her sun yellow dress.Irvine, of course, was by her side as always, bragging about her efforts.He had really paid a lot of attention to her after the little 'incident' with Nikki, and no doubt Selphie was both pleased and flattered.Zell was by the same table, with Jadina next to him – she was fresh in her SeeD uniform, and blushed as Zell went on about how she had gotten a Rank 5 upon passing her field exam.Edea and Cid were busy congratulating and talking with the many newly graduated students, and Quistis was nowhere to be seen at the moment.Neither was Seifer, for that matter, but Squall hadn't expected that he would be around either.After all, he had seen his share of graduation parties, although never gotten a chance to participate in one.

Returning his attention to the glass in his hand, Squall took another sip of his champagne, maybe to just have something to do and avoid eye contact with the single person sitting on the other side of the same table as him.Ellone watched the young man carefully with hazel brown eyes, her hands folded on the table in front of her, as she studied the white fur of his jacket.

"Shouldn't the Commander of Garden be in his uniform for an occasion like this?"

Squall glanced up at her, uncaringly, then shrugged, "Probably."

She smiled, shaking her head lightly to herself, "You were never a boy of many words, Squall."

"Why waste words when there's nothing to say?"

Ellone sighed, her thin eyebrows lowering in a big sisterly manner that reminded Squall of when they were younger, "I wish you would talk with Uncle Laguna, though."

"……"

"Squall, he _is_ your father."

Frowning, Squall set his glass down firmly and proceeded to stare harshly at the floor, "He is not my-"

"Yes, Squall, yes he is," Ellone interrupted, catching him somewhat off guard with the urgency in her voice."Uncle Laguna has made his share of mistakes, yes.He left me behind too, you know, but I know that he loved us both very much and that he did search for us all he could.Don't you see?He feels really, really bad about it all.Just like you do."

For a moment, Squall met her eyes, then picked up his glass again but merely held it in his hand, tightly, "He doesn't even know me."

"You didn't give him a chance to get to know you.Or the other way around."

"I don't _want_ to know him!" Squall continued, his voice rising just slightly.He held onto the champagne glass so hard it was a wonder it didn't break yet. "I don't want to know another person who…" But he trailed off as he remembered who he was talking to, though too late to prevent Ellone from understanding.

She eyed him warily, "…who what?"

"Never mind."

"… who left you?That's what you were going to say, wasn't it?"Even after all these years, she didn't miss the expression on Squall's face.He was a terrible liar, yet just like he had when he was a little child, he refused to admit it when she was right.

But she wouldn't let him remain silent this time, and tried to lock gazes with him, without success, as she kept pressing, "That's it, you never wanted to be alone.But people left you.Like I did," she paused briefly, "Like Rinoa."

The glass was broken.

A few looked in their direction as Ellone hurriedly grabbed a napkin and wiped away the spilled champagne, while Squall winced as he pulled out a couple of glass bits from his glove, one which had stuck in his hand.Another sigh escaped Ellone as she watched him take off the glove to examine the cut."It hurts to be abandoned.But sometimes… you just do not have a choice.I'm not saying Laguna couldn't have tried harder to find the orphanage, but please… just give him a chance, and hear what he has to say."

"Whatever," Squall muttered and rose, wrapping another napkin around a slightly bloody hand, "I'd better get this cleaned up."

Quistis blinked and quickly backed up against the wall as Squall rounded the corner she had been standing… hiding behind, relieved that he was too focused on his own thoughts to notice her.Letting out a breath, she turned to peek at Ellone again, who was left by the table with a mildly disappointed and lost look on her face, before she got up to join Selphie and the others.Momentarily, Quistis considered following Squall, but decided against it.He probably wanted to be alone with his thoughts, and in fact, she needed to think through what she had just heard too.

Laguna was Squall's father?That explained a few things, and brought up even more questions.Squall was already under so much stress; and this with Laguna could only make it worse.

Oh, but to know where you come from and who your real parents are…It was something possibly every orphan child had wondered about and wanted to know at some point of their life.Something Quistis would never know.

_And I'm pretty sure Squall doesn't want it.That's so unfair…_

_ _

She leaned back again, playing with a lock of her golden hair as she looked back to the exit.The party around her went unnoticed as she somehow hoped Squall would return through that door any minute now, even if she knew he'd probably not be back that evening.Moving ice blue eyes to the dance floor, scenes from a few months back came back to her, and she pictured Squall out there with Rinoa.Squall.Dancing!When hell freezes over, she had thought at the time, but Rinoa just went ahead, grabbed his hand and pulled him out there, giving him no other choice.

That was what Rinoa always did.Grabbed him and pulled him out of his shell whether he liked it or not, always bursting with energy despite how fragile and inexperienced she seemed to be.Never gave him any choice but to open to her.That was what Quistis could never do.Quistis asked gently, Quistis made careful approaches and subtle offers of help, and was always turned down.Rinoa didn't ask.Rinoa didn't doubt.Rinoa didn't hesitate.

_What was it about Rinoa?Or was there something wrong with me, is there still?Why am I even thinking about this!_

_ _

But it wouldn't go away.The pain on his face when he had re-experienced the final moments of Rinoa's life; it was like part of him had died along with her.The part of him that smiled, had a sense of humour, that made him handle the role as leader so perfectly when he was unwillingly forced into it.His confidence and happiness had died with Rinoa.And Quistis?Quistis was there once again, offering support that he didn't want, making more careful approaches only to be rejected like before.All she wanted to do was help, maybe be that big sister Ellone had been to him at the orphanage.That's what she had told him, anyway.Sometimes she wanted it to be true and almost believed it herself.It made things simpler.But that was when Rinoa was still alive.Now everything was different.Quistis didn't know what she wanted now, but her own lie was slowly losing its meaning.Squall didn't need any big sister.If anything, he already had a sister.He had friends, but they weren't enough.He had a father, but he didn't want one.

_He wants his life back, and he lost that along with Rinoa._

_ _

Closing her eyes, the young instructor tried to clear her mind, the slow music playing in the background no longer just a blurred sound to her, and she could hear the voices again.Above them rose a single cry of joy, and startled, Quistis glanced towards the table where her friends were located.

"Oh my God, Irvy!"Selphie screeched excitedly as she stared at something tiny and shiny on her finger.To Quistis' surprise, Irvine was actually kneeling on the floor in front of Selphie, not seeming to care much about the crowd that had begun to gather around them.Quistis hurried up and pushed past a few new SeeDs to catch the rest of the show.

"Like it?" the cowboy asked casually, although he was obviously nervous.Selphie could only nod soundlessly, unable to find words for possibly the first time in her life, emerald eyes still wide and slowly brimming over with tears.Smiling, Irvine tilted his head, "So, whaddya say?"

"YES!" Selphie practically tossed herself into his arms, and the crowd started clapping.Zell could be heard screaming out 'All right, go Irvine!' and then whistle loudly.Quistis didn't see what happened next as the lump in her throat suddenly became too big to swallow, and abruptly she turned and ran out of the ballroom.No one saw her leave.

Chapter XXVI:

A dim light spreading from the subtly lit main hall of Garden outlined his face as he stood there, while the rest of his form was cloaked in darkness.It was so very quiet, but Squall was used to that, used to the silence and used to being alone.The terrific beauty of the view that the 'secret area' in the training centre provided really gave one an idea as to how large Garden actually was, and in a way, it felt calming to watch it, as he tried to forget about all the things that currently troubled him; just for a moment.This was home.Garden.But so many things had changed.Despite his efforts, he was unable to let his mind rest, and was eventually confronted by the icy voice of Shiva.

_(You couldn't sleep?)_

_ _

_No use trying to…_

_ _

_(Are you worried about what Ellone told you?)_

_ _

_… No… well, yes… But what worries me the most is…_

_ _

_(Go on…)_

_ _

_I made another promise to Rinoa… A final promise.I'm worried I won't be able to keep this one either._

_ _

_(How do you know you can't keep it if you don't even try?)_

_ _

The dark figure before her threw her off guard as she entered the secret area; Quistis immediately recognized it, but she didn't think she'd find him here.Apparently he hadn't noticed her yet, so she approached very carefully, but his warrior instincts made him snap around to face her before she could even say a word.Bright blue eyes behind small, round glasses met him."Squall?It's nearly 5 am… Have you been here all night?"

_Was she looking for me?_Squall frowned, although Quistis' sudden appearance didn't annoy him as much as he expected it would.Thus he didn't ask why she was there.Turning back to the view, he leaned his right lower arm against the fence, "Pretty much."

Quistis could tell he had a lot on his mind, as he always did, and she didn't blame him.Yet even though she wanted to say something to make him feel better, or talk about his concerns, she knew better than that.Yes, Quistis Trepe had learned a few things about Squall since the time he was her student, and one was that she, unlike Rinoa, couldn't force him to speak up.This was also a different Squall she was dealing with.One that was even more wounded, perhaps, but also one that couldn't shrug everything off like he had used to do.So instead of saying everything she wanted to say, she offered a faint smirk and asked, "Weren't there any cadets making out here?"

A soft snort was given in reply, "There was.But they vanished once I got here."

"Being the Commander has a few advantages," Quistis laughed, "They probably thought you'd come to chew them out for being outside after curfew."

Something was familiar about this conversation."That's the Disciplinary Committee's job," he said, then paused before adding, "Or it would have been, if there still was one…"

Moving a few steps closer, Quistis placed her gloved hands on the fence as well, her expression calm and yet sombre as she looked at the view along with him, "Yes, it's all different now, isn't it… Even Seifer's not the same.People don't seem to mind him being here as much anymore either."No reply.She sighed, and continued, "Did you hear about Selphie and Irvine…?"

Squall kept staring straight ahead of him for a moment, as if he hadn't heard the question, then gave a vague nod, "I heard a few rumours.So it's true?"

"Yes, it is.I can't believe they're actually getting married," she smiled a little sadly and glanced at him, "I'd never thought Irvine would want to give up his 'freedom'… not this quickly.But it's kind of sweet, too.Selphie is so happy."As Squall still didn't say anything, and seemed to show very little interest, Quistis trailed off.Would he ever stop being so cold?She had seen other sides of him… She had seen him be afraid, hurt, angry, and caring and even happy, so why couldn't he show any of this now?Didn't anyone but Rinoa matter to him?

Had Quistis been able to read his thoughts, though, she would have known that Squall cared.He cared about Irvine and Selphie, and a part of him was glad on their behalf, but there was no need for him to show this to Quistis.At least that was his reasoning.Rinoa had done so many things for him, but she couldn't change him completely and he would never be one to talk much.Yet, it was she who had opened his eyes to see the people around him, and helped him see that he had… friends.Or was it just Rinoa?Hadn't they proved their own dedication themselves? They all said they were there for him, they'd help him out if he was in trouble, yes, he knew all that.But none of them understood him like Rinoa had, they hadn't really tried to…

… except Quistis.She kept following him around, she kept trying to save him from himself, ever since he had lost Rinoa.Why?

In the silence that followed, Quistis could only guess what was going through Squall's mind.Laguna?Ellone?… Rinoa?Why?Why did she keep wondering, why did she keep trying when she knew it was useless?Squall would never get over Rinoa, he'd never open up to her.Why couldn't she leave him alone?Why did she feel so bitter when thinking about Rinoa?

Rinoa had been her friend!Not a close friend, but still… a friend.But the way she had been able to get through to Squall like Quistis never could… The raven haired Deling princess had even charmed Seifer once.Free-spirited, cheerful Rinoa… changed into a worried Sorceress Rinoa.Now she was gone.And Squall still loved her more than anything.And Quistis was still jealous of her.

_… jealous?No… I can't be… couldn't have been.It's wrong, plain out wrong!_

_ _

But wasn't she?

"Squall," Quistis said quickly, not able to handle the silence and her own trail of thought.She was becoming just as broody as him now."I… um… I saw you speaking with Ellone earlier, at the party."

The way Quistis seemed to hesitate - as if that wasn't what she really was going to say - had Squall arching an eyebrow, but he decided to answer the unasked question that he knew was lurking in Quistis' mind."We're getting along better."His eyes narrowed again as a thought occurred to him, "… you didn't overhear what we were talking about, did you?"

Now Quistis was surprised.Was she that easy to read?Squall was supposed to be the predictable one."Well, I… …"

"So you did," Squall almost chuckled inwardly, although humourlessly.Quistis had to find out sooner or later, it was just in her nature."It appears that President Loire is… Well.More than I thought he was…"

Quistis couldn't contain her curiosity, "Do you know who your mother is too?"

Squall nodded."I saw her in Ellone's 'dreamworld' once…," he said softly, "Raine Loire… Or Raine Leonhart.She died… giving birth to me."

She merely nodded in return, "So you have a family… All I ever had were adoptive parents.I worried about them during the attack on Dollet, but… they were never really my parents."

"I don't have a family, Quistis," Squall breathed out slowly, nearly sounding disappointed at her statement, "I don't know these people.Even Ellone isn't what she used to be."

Not Sis.

Squall didn't need any Sis, he needed an equal.He didn't need pity, but understanding.Someone who would listen and care about what he actually had to say.Rinoa had been all this, but she had also been his to protect, and he didn't know if he could ever protect anyone again.Something was broken inside him, beyond repair.Yet he couldn't bear to be alone, and at the same time couldn't break that evil circle, or maybe he didn't let himself do it.

Maybe he was just too blind to see.

"You're right, Squall… Family isn't easily defined," Quistis turned around to look at him, "But you know… I still have a family.Zell, Selphie, Irvine… Cid and Edea… you… even Seifer.You've all been important parts of my life."Again, that sad smile appeared on her lips, "Yet… Even in such a crowd, you can easily be alone.Isn't that strange?"

Quistis, alone?Quistis with her fan club called 'Trepies', Quistis the famous instructor, the perfect cadet becoming a SeeD at 15, lonely?But Squall had never really known Quistis before, so how would he know how lonely she was?She had been that overly irritating instructor who kept acting like she was his big sister at some times, and like she had a thing for him at others.Either way, he had always ignored her.But… Quistis wasn't an instructor trying to tell him what to do anymore.She wouldn't go away no matter what abuse he put her through when refusing to accept her attempts at helping him, never giving up, but instead she kept coming back to offer advice, to talk even when he didn't reply.To see him cry, to save his life, to share his pain?

As his expression softened, Quistis found herself staring into his steel blue eyes, encouraged by how he didn't turn away from her.For the first time she understood what Rinoa had meant when she once said that Squall spoke better without words."During all the battles… Through all our training, we wear that mask of invincibility.But we're people like everyone else… We all need something to fight for, that's what got us through the fight with Ultimecia.Zell has his parents in Balamb and Jadina.Selphie has Trabia Garden and Irvine, and Irvine has Selphie.Cid and Matron have each other."

"I had Rinoa…"__He watched her carefully._And what do you have?_

_ _

"I have Garden, my friends…," Quistis suddenly broke the stare, eyeing the ground, "I have you.I know loneliness too, Squall, I can't let you do this to yourself for the rest of your life."

_She cares._

_ _

It was hard to tell exactly how it happened, or who made the first move, but when Squall placed a single finger under her chin to tilt her face up, and their gazes met, the next thing they knew their lips were touching.Quickly it turned into a more passionate kiss and Squall closed his eyes.What was this feeling?What was he _doing_?But it didn't feel wrong, it didn't feel like he was betraying Rinoa, it was new, unexpected…and strangely comforting and safe.So unlike the Squall everyone knew.Perhaps that's why it felt right.

Quistis was startled at first, her eyes wide, but then she gave in to the moment and slowly wrapped her arms around Squall's neck.A longing fulfilled.Wasn't this what she had wanted for so long?To have Squall close, have him open up to her, love her.Someone who loved her for who she was inside. …?__

Something was wrong.

Abruptly she pulled away from him, stumbling backwards and facing away so she wouldn't have to see the confusion she knew would be there, "Squall, I can't, I just can't!I can't replace Rinoa!"

Stunned, Squall just stood there, watching her blankly.Finally finding his voice again, he shook his head in protest."I never asked you to replace her," he frowned, suddenly looking hurt, "No one can _replace her_."

"So what are you saying?"Quistis turned to him, struggling hard to keep her composure.This wasn't what she wanted, not like this."What just happened was… just about you and me?"Squall opened his mouth to say something, but Quistis held up her hand to stop him, "Last time we were here, I wanted you to be a friend, and you told me to go talk to a wall.You didn't care back then.I tried to change you and I couldn't.Then Rinoa came along and changed everything.If she was still alive, this would never have happened, and if you had never met her, this would never have happened.Don't you get it, Squall?I'll always feel like your second choice."

Placing her hand over her mouth, she stared at him for another brief instant, then fled out to the training centre before he could see her tears.Squall looked after her, not moving, not knowing what to do.Rejected, angry, confused and… alone.

_Second choice…_

_ _

_But…_

_ _

_… I wasn't given any choice._

Chapter XXVII:

It was still dark outside when Xu locked herself into the headmaster's office at 5:30 am that morning, carrying a bunch of various papers under her arm that she would have to go through before Cid arrived.Payments from past missions, requests for new missions, new applications for joining Garden…Xu sighed exaggeratedly at the weight of her work as she sat down by her desk.It was at times like these she regretted taking up the offer to be both Cid's assistant _and_ an instructor.She hardly had time to sleep anymore.The cup on the table next to her was filled with cold coffee from the day before.She frowned.

_Suppose _I_ will have to make some new coffee, too…_

_ _

The minute she rose from her chair to move over to the coffee machine, the phone on Cid's desk rang.On the line that carried direct calls from Balamb Town, too, the one to be used only in emergencies – the SeeD requests were usually sent to Garden in written form.Xu hesitated.But waking up the headmaster would take too much time, she figured, so she hurried over to his desk and picked up the phone, answering in a tired, slightly gruff voice, "Balamb Garden, this is Headmaster Cid Kramer's assistant Xu Xasalu speaking."

As the man on the other end of the line spoke, Xu's brown eyes widened slowly."What?When?…Yes… I will inform him as soon as possible.Yes, I understand the situation.What?Of course.Yes, okay."

Now fully awake without even paying the coffee a second thought, she hang up and then ran over to her own desk, grabbing the phone and dialling the local number to Cid and Edea's private room."Sir? … I wouldn't disturb you if it wasn't important.Cid, you have to get up here, right now."

Squall had headed back to his dorm without much hope of getting any sleep, even if he had been up all night and most of the night before.He would just have to drink massive amounts of coffee at breakfast again.It had almost become a habit.As he laid down on his bed to try to get at least some rest, his thoughts began drifting as he predicted, promising him no sleep this time either.Quistis.She had left him in anger just minutes earlier, and right then and there he hadn't understood why.Now, however, her words came back to him.Had he misinterpreted her actions and words?Hadn't she wanted it as much as he had?He knew how long he had neglected her, and in fact, he had only recently begun to even care about that fact at all.She had been his sister, instructor, friend…Was that all there was?Had he fooled himself into believing there was something more, just because she was his friend, because she supported him, because… because he _needed_ there to be something more?

_Did I really try to replace Rinoa with her?_

_ _

_(Do you believe that, Squall?)_

_ _

_She is right, though, Shiva… If Rinoa wasn't… I mean… if she hadn't…_

_ _

_(I know.)_

_ _

_… then this wouldn't have happened._

_ _

_(Humans _are_ able to fall in love more than once.I know you better than to think you would kiss a woman without meaning something with it.You see something in Quistis that you want and need.That doesn't have anything to do with Rinoa.I cannot know your every emotion, but I've been with you, and humans in general, long enough to learn certain things…)_

_ _

_But-_

_ _

_(If Rinoa was alive, you wouldn't feel this way about Quistis.That may be true, as Quistis said, but isn't everything that happens a result of the past?If you hadn't been an orphan, would you have been a SeeD?If you hadn't been in such a desperate need for acceptance, would you have fallen in love with Rinoa?You will never get over Rinoa, and no one expects you to, but should the past stop you from being happy again in the future?Or maybe the question is, will you let it?)_

Shiva was solemn.Squall was startled to see this very serious, not to mention knowledgeable, side of her, and even more startled to know she knew things about him not even Rinoa had been able to see.And she was right.

_The question is, what will Quistis do…_

_ _

Why was he still in doubt…?

But the brooding session was rudely interrupted as the Garden intercom summoned Squall - along with a row of familiar names:Zell, Selphie, Irvine, Nida, Jadina, Quistis and Seifer – to the headmaster's office.A gentle, cool breeze caressed his cheek just barely as he stood up.For the first time in over a month, a smile crossed Squall's face.Just for a second, just a little curl of his lips, but it was there."Thank you, Shiva," he whispered as he walked out the door.Through his window, the first rays of dawn entered.

"A serious problem has come to our attention," Cid paced back and forth as he spoke to the little crowd within his office, a grim frown etched on his face, "President Temeka has ordered Adar Nalhan's execution.And it is to happen today.Nalhan has apparently been unable to gather evidence to prove himself innocent, and even if he had, chances are Temeka would have discarded them.Galbadia needs someone to blame.Nalhan will be it."Looking up at the seven SeeDs and one fallen knight that stood before him, Cid put emphasis on his next words, "We all know how much of a threat Temeka is.Dollet is in a very weak state, and they couldn't defend themselves against another attack.Temeka, much like many previous Galbadian presidents, only wants one thing: Power.If Nalhan is killed, there's nothing left to stop him.Several soldiers loyal to Caraway and Nalhan have been discovered and disposed of already.The few who are left sent a plead to us earlier this morning to help them stop the execution before it's too late."

"Excuse me, sir," Quistis spoke up, "But how do we do something like this when it's against most of the population and army's will?In order to carry this out, it's likely we'll have to arrest Temeka or even kill him in the attempt.Even if we do rescue Nalhan, won't the mob get both us and him?"

Xu, who was standing next to Edea near the headmaster's desk, shook her head, "The army and the people aren't as happy about the current rule as they appear to be.Reports from our spies in Galbadia reveal that most everyone are too afraid or too little informed about what's actually going on to stand up against Temeka.The people of Galbadia have been oppressed for so long that they don't know how to liberate themselves anymore."

"As you can imagine, this is a most important mission," Cid continued, "That's why I'm sending the six of you, as well as Jadina Letris and Seifer, as I trust and believe that if anyone can handle this, it's you."

Zell narrowed his eyes and turned to look at Seifer, who appeared to be quite surprised himself."Headmaster, why is _Seifer_ coming?Isn't this too important to, like, risk that anythin' goes wrong?"

Edea stepped forward, "Seifer has no more reason to let anything go wrong than any of you do, Zell.Besides, we are in short of SeeDs as so many were wounded during the battle in Dollet.We could need the help._You_ will need the help."

Although not everyone seemed to be as pleased with having Seifer with them again, no one else protested.Zell practically fumed as he saw a grin appear on Seifer's face, but calmed down when Jadina put her hand on his, and he let the topic pass.He didn't see Seifer turning away slightly and sighing, the grin fading just a little too quickly.

"You will head out immediately.We would like to keep our approach as subtle as possible, but we don't have much time.It's now 6:15 am.The execution is scheduled to be in five hours and 45 minutes from now.You will take Ragnarok to a location near Deling City, where two cars sent by our spies will pick you up."Cid paused, then nodded firmly, "Good luck."

On the way out, Squall heard Selphie and Irvine whispering behind him.

"Do you think we'll have time to say goodbye to Ellone first?"Selphie asked.

Irvine blinked, "She's leaving?"

"Yeah, Sir Laguna's sending Kiros and Ward to get her today.But I'm sure she'll be back for our wedding!We'll have to invite Sir Laguna, too, and all my friends from Trabia Garden!"

The cowboy was silent for a moment, and sounded somewhat unsure when he replied, "Sure, babe."Selphie didn't seem to notice, and continued to chat cheerfully.

_I know what you're thinking, Irvine, _Squall thought, _… this is a dangerous mission.What if not all of us return…?_

_ _

Stepping into the lift, he wasn't quite prepared for the exchange of glances he had with Quistis, and neither was she, apparently.She turned away from him quickly, and started talking with Nida to divert her own attention.Squall watched her for a second, then let his gaze drop to his medallion, and he held it up slightly to study the silvery lion's head.His expression melted into a plain, empty frown.


	10. Chapters 28 - 30

Chapter XXVIII:

Chapter XXVIII:

The trip to Galbadia and then the car ride went without complications, much to Squall's surprise and relief.Luckily for him, he didn't have to ride in the same car as Quistis, and made sure to keep Seifer and Zell away from each other as well.Sticking them together in any way would probably be a very bad idea.

They arrived in Deling City at 10:45 am, and the streets were already full of people who were rushing towards the Presidential Residence where the execution would take place.Even though there were guards everywhere, the huge crowd made it easy for the Garden members to blend in with them, even if the weapons they carried were given a few suspicious looks.Squall and Seifer's gunblades in particular.The area in front of the huge building that Zolqer Temeka claimed as his home was so filled with Deling citizens that it was literally impossible to get through.So many people that wanted to see 'Caraway's murderer' pay for his crimes, even though the real bad guy was, once again, their own president.How could they fail to see that even after everything Temeka had done?

"How do we get inside?" Irvine wondered, glancing over at the commander.

Squall frowned, but easily slipped into his role as leader this time, aware that he couldn't allow his mind to drift to personal problems today.The fact that he hadn't slept much the past 48 hours did not, amazingly enough, break his concentration."Nalhan's kept captured in there somewhere, I'm sure.I suggest we split up in two – four of us provide a distraction to get the guards away, and the four others go inside to find Nalhan and Temeka."Looking around, he motioned for the others to follow him to the edge of the crowd."Our best shot is to get around to the other side of the building.There won't be so many people there, and if we're careful and quick, we could knock down the guards without drawing attention.From there we can climb up to the balcony, and four of you," he turned to them again, "Let's say, Quistis, Seifer, Jadina and Nida, stay there to cause a commotion and deal with the wave of guards.Irvine, Selphie, Zell and I will go into the building and rescue Nalhan, and hopefully dispose of Temeka.We have exactly one hour from now before the execution."

Quistis sent him a questioning look, as if asking why he had placed her on the outside team, but he just ignored it.Seifer narrowed his eyes, probably having wanted to be in the centre of the fight – meaning, inside the Presidential Residence – but he didn't say anything, either.Cautiously, they moved closer to their target, still trying to mingle with the crowd as much as possible.Once out of the public area, the eight of them snuck down the along the side of the building, where they bumped into four Galbadian soldiers who were easily taken care of.Reaching the place where Rinoa once had made her way up to find Edea and give her the 'Odine Bangle' - which had just led to one of those many times Squall had to rescue her – the team were ready to carry out their plan.Squall gave a nod of his head, then started to climb up on the large wooden boxes that were stacked there, then onto the lower part of the roof.The others followed him.

On the balcony where Temeka was going to hold his speech later on and where Nalhan was going to be executed, there was still only guards.Ten of them, and they got their hands full as Quistis and the three others of her team appeared from the side of the roof.More guards came running from inside, but unfortunately for them, the SeeDs were by far more skilled fighters, and had better magic.Seifer seemed like he was having a blast, enjoying the audience below.A loud murmur rose in the crowd, then complete panic and confusion.Some just watched, while others started running about and almost knocking down people on their way.The guards down on the ground soon had enough work with trying to calm them down.

While all this was going on, Squall, Selphie, Zell and Irvine took the given opportunity to make their way past all the fighting and through the balcony entrance.Inside they were immediately met by another wave of guards, who didn't last long.Soon they discovered the Presidential Residence was a maze of different halls and stairs and doors, and they really had no clue of where to go.

"Man," Zell looked around in bewilderment, "Where do we go?"

"Hm," Squall eyed the stairs near the middle of the hall that led up to the next floor, rubbing his chin thoughtfully with a gloved hand. "They're probably keeping Nalhan at one of the lower floors.You three go check it out, and watch out for the guards.I'm going to find out what's up there."

Selphie blinked, "But Squall – you can't go alone."

He whirled around to them and snapped, "I'll be fine, just go!We don't have the time."With that, he made his way for the stairs, leaving no room for arguments.The three friends looked at each other, then went down to the floor below.

_(Squall, why didn't you take any of them with you?)_

_ _

_… I want him alone._

_ _

_(Why?)_

_ _

_(You want revenge, don't you?)_

_ _

Squall ignored her.Once by the top of the stairs, he figured he was also at the top floor.By one end of the hall, there was a large window, and by the other end, a single door.And two soldiers guarding it.Upon spotting him, they pulled out their swords and ran over to attack, but didn't even have time to be amazed at Squall's skill with the gunblade before they were both lying bleeding on the carpet.Sighing, the young commander closed his eyes for a few seconds, then headed for the door.He hated this.Hated killing other human beings.They weren't monsters, they were just doing their job, just like him, and no matter how necessary it was, he always hated it.

Taking in a breath, he then braced himself before kicking the door open.

The room was large and bright, with a high ceiling made of glass and white walls.Except the wall that faced out to the main street of Deling City – it wasn't a wall at all, but instead a huge window.Apart from a desk and a chair in front of this window and a few decorating plants, however, the room was empty.And in the centre of it, a tall, blonde man of about 34 or 35 years old was standing, dressed in a plain white shirt and grey pants.His green eyes were perfectly calm, but hard.In his right hand was a sword, not unlike the ones his guards used, but slightly more fancy looking.Surprised to find that the president was the only person there, Squall looked about quickly to be certain it wasn't any kind of trap, then took a couple of steps forward.

"SeeD Commander Leonhart," Temeka spoke.His voice was even, as if he had been waiting for this all along, and didn't bear any trace of surprise at all.Squall's eyebrows shot up in suspicion.

"What, not going to ask how I know your name?I didn't, really, I just assumed you were the leader.Nalhan's little friends aren't very good at keeping their secrets."

So Temeka had found out about the last time Nalhan had hired SeeD.And once noticing what was going on in the building, he had obviously suspected that the visitors from Balamb Garden would get past his guards.The president seemed wary, but yet sure of himself.Squall didn't waste his voice on giving him a reply, but instead readied his gunblade and continued towards Zolqer.

"You're right," the older man said, "Enough small talk."He leapt forward, more swiftly than Squall had expected him to, and swung his sword at the young SeeD's face.Squall blocked the attack just in time to avoid getting his head sliced in two.Zolqer Temeka knew how to fight – apparently he had been a Captain of the Galbadian army for a reason.If Squall just could get him alive… he'd have to pay for his crimes, for what he had done to Timber and Dollet, and for most likely having arranged General Caraway's death.

It didn't seem like Zolqer was planning on having both of them get out of there alive, however.He kept up the strikes of his sword with astounding skill, and it didn't take too long before the sleep deprived Squall was beginning to get tired.The attacks were too rapid for him to be able to cast any magic spells.He was alone in this; all the others were busy somewhere else in the building.He had chosen to be alone in this, and was beginning to think he had made a mistake.

_I can't do this…_

_ _

_(Don't lose faith in yourself now, Squall!You've managed worse before, this is just one man.Come on!)_

_ _

_The others… will take care of him._

_ _

_(Squall – Squall, watch out!!)_

_ _

The sharp blade of Temeka's sword whipped through the air and cut through Squall's black leather jacket, easily sinking deeply into his right arm.Wincing in pain, Squall lost his concentration and didn't react in time when the president proceeded to knock the gunblade out of his hand, then place a well aimed kick in his stomach, forcing him to fall backwards.

"Would've thought you'd last longer," Zolqer growled quietly, sword lifted to finish the job.Squall looked up just in time to see a shadow up on the roof above.The next thing they both knew, the well-known sound of shattering glass was heard, and a figure in a white trench coat fell from the broken ceiling, knocking Temeka down with his own weight and then stepping on the top of his back with one heavy boot to keep him there.Seifer sneered, kicking away the fallen president's sword with his other foot."That's for kicking Squall's ass.Only I'm allowed to do that."

Watching Squall struggle to get back up as quickly as possible, Seifer grinned at the expression on his former rival's face, "I got bored."

A horde of seven or eight guards came rushing in the door, but Seifer reacted immediately and lifted his Hyperion threateningly, "One step closer, and I'll kill him!Slowly and very painfully too.And don't doubt for a second that I'm capable of doing it."

The soldiers gave Zolqer - who had a hard time turning his face to actually look at them as he was still pressed against the floor – a look, wordlessly asking him what to do."Do as he says!" The president rumbled, "Go!"

A little hesitantly, the guards eyed the three of them a second time before leaving the room, closing the door behind them."Good boys," Seifer smiled slyly to himself, then glanced down at Zolqer again.His expression suddenly changed into a dangerous frown, and he kicked the president roughly in the side, who groaned and crumpled up in pain."That's for Fujin and Raijin, you bastard," the young blonde hissed, "Go on, Squall, finish him."

After casting a Cure spell on himself and retrieving his Lionheart gunblade, Squall looked back at Seifer and swallowed, then shook his head."I can't," he turned his gaze to look down at the helpless president, "I – I don't believe in revenge."

"You don't believe in revenge," Seifer repeated in a mocking tone, "Are you, Squall Leonhart, standing there and telling me you don't feel like making this guy pay for what he did to Rinoa?What he did to Rinoa and thousands of other people without ever giving it a second thought?"

Squall frowned, "There's no point to it, Seifer!Killing Temeka isn't going to undo any wrong he's done.It's Galbadia's job to punish him, not ours."

"It'll make you feel better."Seifer narrowed his eyes dangerously.Temeka started to move and try to say something, but Seifer just pressed his boot against the side of the older man's head instead and kept the tip of his gunblade against his lower back, silencing him."President Zolqer Temeka, responsible of Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly's death.Maybe she would have been Rinoa Leonhart someday if this man right here hadn't killed her, killed her and her friends and evened the town she fought for with the ground.He murdered her without even knowing, without ever caring.Rinoa, the woman you loved, is _dead_, Squall.And it wasn't your fault, it was _his_.If you're not going to end his life for it, then I sure as hell _will_."There was an unexpected tone of bitter emotion in Seifer's voice, and he stared at Squall harshly, expectantly.

Squall's eyes were moist.Without having any real control of his own actions, he emitted an angry cry and ran forward, weapon raised.Seifer's foot moved just in time as Zolqer gave one last scream of terror before the blade of the Lionheart closed the distance between itself and the president's throat.

Seconds later there was a whole lot of noise in the hall outside before seven people burst into the room: Six SeeDs and one Adar Nalhan.They all stopped and stared in shock as they found Seifer and Squall standing over the bleeding body on the floor.Quistis blinked and made several attempts at speaking before finally finding her voice again, "What in the world…?!"

Wiping blood off his gunblade with a black gloved hand, Squall turned and calmly walked towards the oldest of the seven. "Adar Nalhan, Galbadia is in your hands now."

Chapter XXIX:

Selphie absolutely loved being the centre of attention.Proudly she stood on the top of the stairs outside the small church in Balamb Town, arm in arm with her husband.She was Mrs. Kinneas now, only 18 years old, and she didn't doubt for a minute that this was the right decision.All around them people were standing, waving, throwing rice, taking pictures.Smiling and cheering.Selphie was a sight to behold in her pure white wedding dress, that was tight down to her waist but then widened around her legs, and it was so long you couldn't even see her feet.Her wedding bouquet consisted of equally white lilies, and a whole lot of females had already gathered in front of the couple in hopes of receiving it.Somewhere further away, she could spot Headmaster Thomson and her friends from Trabia Garden, as well as Irvine's foster parents.She had never expected this many people would come!

Bright green eyes sparkling, Selphie looked up at Irvine and smiled."You should wear a tuxedo more often.It suits you."

The redhead laughed softly and brushed her veil aside to kiss her another time, causing the crowd to cheer more loudly.He was dressed in the traditional black with the white shirt, and had luckily left his hat behind, though his long hair was still pulled back in a pony tail."No way, honey," he replied, brushing his nose against hers, "These things are uncomfortable."

"At least you aren't drowning in your clothes!"Selphie chirped.Irvine grinned and leaned in to whisper.

"Don't worry, you won't be wearing that dress for long…"

Her eyes widened in mild shock, but she only giggled, "Irvine!"

"C'mon, Sefie.It's time to get rid of the flowers," he winked at his young wife, who ironically enough was a few months older than himself, and motioned towards the group of eager girls.

Still giggling, Selphie turned her back to the others and threw the lilies over her shoulder, "To the next lucky girl!"

There was a loud squeal from a young woman dressed in a SeeD cadet uniform, and she jumped up and down happily while clutching onto the bouquet.While one of her friends congratulated her, Nikki – the two others were both part of her little gang – stood off to the side and pouted.

"We'll just _see_ who gets lucky first!" she snapped.The friend who had caught the flowers turned to her with a smirk.

"It won't be you, at least.Your prey's already taken," she nodded in Irvine's direction.

Nikki's brown eyes narrowed, "Well, well – oh, what_ever_."She shook her head in frustration and walked off.

Nearby, Jadina gave a light sigh of disappointment, "Oh well.It was worth a shot."She leaned down to pat Angelo's head, who responded by wagging her tail.The dog had gotten used to the company of her new mistress, although it was obvious she still missed her original owner.Indeed, no one could ever take Rinoa's place.

Zell watched her quietly, while swallowing several times and trying to find the nerve to speak up.His girlfriend looked so beautiful in her dark violet dress.It was sleek and shiny, simple and not really anything extraordinary, but on her, it was perfect.In his opinion.After fumbling with something in his pocket for a long while, he finally took out a small object and closed his hand around it.With his other hand, he took a hold of Jadina's wrist to get her attention, and she turned around to him.

"Jade… I've… uh, wanted to give you this for a while, but… the time never seemed right," he blushed and looked into her questioning face.

"What is it?"

Unfurling his fingers, Zell revealed a small, silver ring in his hand, with an engraved heart on it.Jadina's expression lit up in surprise.

"I made it myself…," he explained, "Like… it's not a real… y'know, definite promise, or anything… But, I thought it'd be nice to… have the possibility there."Warily, he watched her for her reaction.

But he didn't have to say anything else.Jadina stepped forward and hugged him tightly all of a sudden, almost causing him to drop the ring.Smiling, Zell kissed her on the cheek and took her left hand to place the home-made piece of jewellery on her finger.

"Aren't they a lovely couple?"Edea watched the newly wed SeeDs with misty eyes, caught somewhere between present and memories of the past."They always fit so well together.Even as children…"Cid smiled at her and laid an arm around her shoulders.

However, as he caught sight of a familiar figure among the lot of people in the streets outside the Balamb church, the headmaster let his arm slip away again and took a step forward."Seifer!"

Even on a day like this, Seifer Almasy was wearing his usual white trench coat, but he'd had the decency to change to a more formal shirt and pair of pants.Lifting an eyebrow sceptically, the blonde looked over at Cid as he motioned for him to come closer, then stuck his hands in his pockets, shrugged, and walked over.

"I'm glad to see you here," Edea commented brightly once the young man had stopped by them, regarding him in a friendly manner.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Seifer's reply was accompanied by a characteristic smirk.

Cid cleared his voice and straightened his vest, then peered at Seifer over the edge of his glasses, "I have to say I've heard quite a few good things about you after the last mission in Deling, Mr. Almasy."

_Mr. Almasy?_Seifer looked amused, "Oh, really?"

"Yes, the recently appointed President Nalhan has given you a lot of praise.But he's not the only one," Cid put a hand on his hip, "Although Quistis didn't quite approve of you going against orders, they all agreed it was good thing you did.You probably saved Squall's life."

"And he still hasn't thanked me," the blonde mocked exasperation, "But what else is there to expect from him?"

The headmaster sighed, "Seifer, please be serious for once.I'm telling you this for a reason," he paused, making sure the teenager remained silent this time, before continuing, "What I'm trying to say is that I've been, somewhat reluctantly, convinced of where your loyalty lies.Edea is right, you have indeed changed, and I'll go as far as saying that I trust your judgement.Even if you're still a bit too much on the wild side, in my opinion.You'd be a good asset to Garden.So what I'm offering you is… the SeeD title you strived to get for so long."

And Seifer's jaw dropped.Truly too stunned to speak, he only stared at Cid, as the aging man chuckled.

"Let's just say the rescue of Adar Nalhan was your fourth field exam, and you passed it.Don't worry about the written exam, you've already taken that enough times, so it's not necessary.You're a bit of a special case."

"I…"Seifer took in a breath, looking between the two Kramers in bewilderment.He couldn't quite decide how he really felt about this.He hadn't even considered it possible ever since he'd betrayed Garden for Sorceress Ultimecia, and getting this thrown at him now caused mixed emotions of pride and happiness, hesitation and regret all the same.It'd mean facing his past for every day for the rest of his life, or as long as he remained a SeeD.It would mean having to deal with everyone's prejudices against him without having the option to run away.And at the same time, it gave him the opportunity to use his fighting skills for a greater good, it gave him back his home, and he would have achieved what he'd originally planned for his life.

Dilemmas.

"I… will have to think about it," he forced out at last.Cid nodded.

"That is fine.Take your time, please, we don't want you rushing into anything you're not ready for."

Edea smiled, "Oh, he's ready, dear, he just needs to figure out if it's what he really wants."

Looking at his former Matron, Seifer mouthed a 'thank you' to her, then gave a nod to Cid before turning to walk away.When they could no longer see him, he cracked a small, sincere smile.

Once he was out of view, Edea turned around to find another pair of familiar faces heading in their direction.She greeted Laguna and Ellone pleasantly as they walked up to her and Cid, and after formal things like shaking hands with the President and sharing of less formal hugs with Ellone was over with, Cid spoke first.

"I'm most pleased that you both made it.Selphie is overjoyed, and Irvine's glad, too."

"I can't believe she's getting married before me!"Ellone giggled and shook her head a little, and Laguna eyed her.

"Hey, hey, what's the rush?You're still young!"

The chestnut haired woman just laughed.Edea looked up at Laguna, folding her hands in front of her, "Oh, that's right… Squall told me he wanted to talk with you."

The Estharian president was visibly surprised."You're kidding.I – I thought he hated my guts."

Edea shrugged, "Stranger things have happened, Mr. Loire.Just don't be too fast in your approach.He needs time to adjust."

Laguna couldn't help but grin.Ellone was smiling, too, but then she glanced around with a searching look.

"Speaking of Squall – where is he?"

It was a beautiful, sunny Saturday in late August, and the only chill was a mild, but cool breeze coming in from the west.Squall stood alone out in the open, green fields of Balamb Island, staring at the distant mountains with an empty look, dressed in his SeeD uniform.Just two days earlier it had been his 18th birthday.Today, two of his best friends had gotten married.

Friends.His best friends.

Carried by the wind came a single, small and pure white feather, swirling through the air with more ease than the bird it had most likely come from.Squall blinked stormy blue eyes, feeling his heart leap at the mere sight of it, but still he reached out and grabbed it midair as it came close to him.

_A coincidence._

_ _

_(Is that what you believe?)_

_ _

Breathing in deeply, he held the air in before letting it out again through a trembling sigh.

She stood a short distance behind him, with her hands on her back and her eyes locked firmly on his still figure.In her mind a battle was being fought: to approach, or not to approach.

What she had thought she wanted she had begun to doubt.What she'd thought would feel right felt so wrong.It wasn't her place to push herself at him, it wasn't in her power to help.Only in that weak moment he had turned to her because she was the closest target, something to lean on for comfort while trying to forget.

Part of her wished to believe this, convinced that it was the truth and that thinking otherwise would be to fool herself.Part of her wished – oh, wished so deeply – that she was completely wrong.To approach, or not to approach.To love, or not to love.Either way, no matter what she chose, she knew that it would hurt her, in one way or another.

But as she looked at him then, watched him stand there in pain and solitude, watched him go through every day and having to face his greatest fear without anyone taking that burden off him – as she watched him be so alone… The decision had already been made.God help her, even if it might not be returned as she'd hoped, she loved him so.If she could make him suffer less by fooling herself, then so be it – or even if she could just make him realize what he felt and what he wanted… no matter what it was, no matter where she'd go afterwards, it would be worth it.

Squall felt a gentle hand upon his shoulder.He found himself looking back into the familiar, soft yet almost-always-stern face of Quistis as her ice blue eyes stared at him with a strange set of emotion that he couldn't quite make out.Her dress was dark red, almost blood red, with matching gloves that reached all the way to her elbows.Her golden hair was loose, and she had no glasses.It suited her.She was beautiful.

"The party is in the other direction."

"I know.That's why I'm here."

So he wasn't fond of big masses of people celebrating things, whether it be SeeD graduation balls, his birthday or a wedding, but that was no big secret.Quistis smiled half-heartedly, but it was gone within the second."How do you feel?"

_Please don't ask._"Fine."

Those cold eyes narrowed, and she turned away slightly.His lips moved but he couldn't get out a sound, and only kept his eyes on her.Don't turn away, his expression pleaded, but she couldn't see it.Don't walk away this time too, don't let my mistakes push you away, because I need you, I…

_(Tell her.)_

_ _

"Quistis," Squall almost faltered, but managed to pull himself together in time, "I… You-… You're my only choice."

The ice frown melted, and the blonde woman looked at him again, the hurt in her eyes gone and replaced with surprise.

"And… I can't… do this without you," he chose his words carefully.

Relief, joy… hope.For the first time in her life, Quistis Trepe was glad to be wrong.Another smile crossed her lips, but still it didn't last long."It's not going to be easy."

"Nothing in my life has ever been easy," he answered, "It's a risk I didn't dare to take for so long… When I finally did, it backfired.But I… realize… there's so much more to lose by not risking again."

For half an eternity, the flash of a second, time stood still as the breeze died down, and blue met blue.Then as the world began to move again, she reached forward with a hand.Squall seemed to consider it for a brief moment, then took it in his own.

"We're going to miss the party," she whispered.

Just as they began to walk back towards Garden, the wind picked up again.Squall gazed up at the clouds, then opened his other hand to look at the white feather he was still holding.Tenderly, he caressed it with his thumb, and the next thing he knew, it was sailing away in the air again, continuing its journey from west to east.Squall Leonhart smiled.

_To the woman who taught me how to live._

Chapter XXX:

_Twenty years later…_

_ _

It was early afternoon, and the sun was shining upon Deling City – but the light did not reach the office in the Presidential Residence.The dark curtains blocked the windows, not allowing the room to be lit by anything but a single lamp upon the wooden desk.Darius Nalhan sat down in his chair heavily, having just closed the door behind one of his advisors, after finally getting him out of his office.Citizens complaining about this and that, trouble stirring up in east, a storm destroying a village in west, army wanting more money, schools wanting more money, everyone wanting more money, better lives, less burdens – and it was all his responsibility.All his responsibility ever since the accident just a few months earlier…The boy laid his head down on the desk, staring at the picture that stood there just next to the lamp.It showed an aging, short man, with silver hair that had once been black.Next to him was a woman, a beautiful brunette that probably was nearly twenty years younger than himself.They were smiling.

Darius sighed heavily, then closed his eyes.They were brown, like his father's, but his hair was thick and dark chestnut coloured like his mother's, and while he wasn't exactly the tallest male ever, at least his height was pretty average.Looks that he had been rather content with and busy tending to.Now he didn't have the time to worry about petty things like that, didn't have time to anything, really, except working and sleeping.Sleep, it was such a tempting thought.No one would see him… just fifteen minutes… maybe thirty…

"No, this is no life for a nineteen year old child."The voice was soft, soothing, like a mother cooing to a baby.Darius immediately blinked his eyes wide open, stumbled out of the chair and whirled around to look at the one who had spoken.

She was stunning.

A woman in her mid-twenties, certainly no older than that, stood by the end of his room, her back just an inch away from the wall.She was dressed in a deep scarlet dress, a long one that flowed beautifully around her lithe body, and covered her feet.Her fingernails were long and violet, and her hair reached all the way to her knees – it was white, and spread around her like fine silk.Her face was pale, her lips blood red – and her eyes, her eyes were a startling cold shade of blue.She smiled at him in a smug, yet seductive manner.

"How did you get in here?!" Darius snapped, angry and confused at the same time.

"How… does not matter as much as why, dear Darius my child," was the woman's response.Her smile lingered, and she took a few steps forward.For a moment Darius thought he saw her float instead of walk, but it was probably only his imagination and lack of sleep.

"My friends call me Darius," he said coolly, "You will address me as President Nalhan."

She chuckled, a soft, yet mocking laughter, and kept approaching his desk with fluid movements."Your father was President Nalhan, child.My name is Yvivina Gar'ena.But you may address me as Yvivina… for now."

As she came close to him, Darius edged away, pressing closer to the back of his chair, but he still stood up straight and tried to remain in a state of authority."What business do you have here, Miss Gar'ena?"

The laughter came again, and she sounded even more amused this time."Darius, Darius, Darius… Such a young boy with such an innocent name… in such a powerful position."Yvivina shook her head dramatically, her smile fading as she turned to look him in the eyes – just for a brief second.Then she reached out with slim fingers to grab the picture on the desk.She lifted it up, studying it."Adar and Rosanna Nalhan… A tragedy, isn't it?Out driving one day, their first free time together in years… all cheerful and oblivious.And then all of a sudden…," she put the picture down and looked at him again, "… nothing.Not unlike what happened to a certain General a long while ago, I've heard… Only he just lost his wife and not his own life.No, that happened much later."

And she laughed.

Darius could only watch her in surprise.But then his expression hardened to a glare and he cleared his voice, not letting her words get to him.He couldn't.Stay calm, stay firm."Miss Gar'ena, this is all irrelevant.If you don't state your business here right now, I'm going to have to have you removed from my office!"

"Is that a threat?"Yvivina raised her delicate eyebrows, her blue eyes twinkling with that same, cruel amusement."I adore threats, my child.But only the real ones."Darius started to say something, but before he could, she was even closer to him – and one of those violet fingernails caressed his clean shaved chin gently."Are you a real threat, dear Darius Nalhan?Are you a threat to me?"

The young President backed up against his desk now, until he couldn't go any further.She locked gazes with him, and somehow he couldn't look away, couldn't escape.She was so beautiful.If he had leaned back any further he would have been _lying_ on the desk."Please, miss… leave."

Yvivina ignored him."Or perhaps, child, perhaps I am a threat to you?Or maybe even… I am an answer to your dreams… To your inner, deep desires.Is a little girlfriend able to answer those dreams, Darius?Don't you ever long for something true, something… pure?"Her fingers moved up his cheek, slowly, like a snake, and she came closer, ever closer.Her lips locked onto his like their gazes, and Darius only stared, couldn't protest, couldn't… think.

When she let go, she still held his head in both her hands, her nose touching his, and a predatory grin crossed her face."Perhaps we are the answers to each other's dreams, my Knight.Together we will find a world beyond komprehension.Together, we kan konquer every dream that ever existed… In any time."

Her eyes sparkled a bright golden.

"All I need, child, is your help to get to power…"

The End


End file.
